3 Reasons To Make A ‘Reverse Bucket List,’ By A Psychologist

When you look back on your life, do you often experience regret, thinking of things you never did or goals you never accomplished? Many people experience a sense of shame, and even anxiety that they “should have been further along by now,” but these self-imposed timelines only harm us.

Many of us create bucket lists, and perhaps you’ve already achieved some of the things on yours. And yet, you feel stuck — you compare yourself to a version of you that doesn’t exist, and this weighs on your relationship with yourself now.

The relentless pace of modern life only adds to this pressure. Interestingly, research shows that one of the most powerful ways to move forward is indeed, by taking a moment to look back with intention and compassion, rather than judgment.

In a two-part study published in the Journal of Happiness Studies, researchers found that people who regularly engage in “positive reminiscing” using vivid mental imagery report higher levels of happiness and a stronger capacity to savor meaningful moments. These individuals fared better than those who focused solely on the present or relied on physical memorabilia.

So, it appears that intentionally revisiting meaningful past experiences can activate emotional resources that enhance well-being and resilience.

This is the spirit behind creating a “reverse bucket list.” Instead of obsessing over what’s left to do, recalling positive memories and accomplishments from the past invites us to take a bird’s-eye view of all that we’ve already lived. It grounds us in gratitude, restores a sense of personal agency and gently recalibrates our direction.

Here are three ways this small but powerful shift in perspective can offer not just emotional grounding but a clearer, more empowered path forward.

1. You Learn To Notice The Abundance In Your Life

Without meaning to, we often focus on what’s lacking in our lives. We constantly think of the long list of the places still left to be explored, the goals still unmet or the versions of ourselves we want to become.

So, while bucket lists can be exciting, this future-focus becomes a tally of what’s left to do, with no focus on what’s already yours.

Interestingly, a 2022 study found that bucket lists are often shaped by an unconscious need to manage our fear of mortality; an urge to achieve more, accumulate more and leave behind a legacy. While this can be motivating, it can just as easily elicit anxiety and a constant sense of not being “enough.”

However, a reverse bucket list turns your attention toward what’s already been meaningful in your life. It allows you to reflect on the experiences you’ve lived through and the moments that truly enriched your life.

For some people, it was standing up for themselves when it was hard, for others it was how they learned to be okay on their own, only to emerge stronger. These moments don’t usually make it onto goal sheets but they are, in many ways, the most defining; capturing the true evolution of your life.

When we look back on our lives from this mental space, it’s a reminder that we’re already becoming our best possible selves.

2. It Strengthens Your Identity

Your memories are the scaffolding of your identity. They serve as a reminder of who you’ve been, what you’ve valued and how you’ve grown. Positive reminiscence is a way of reconnecting with your own story, and finding strength in it.

A 2013 study found that individuals who actively use their memories to reflect on their identity, strengthen social bonds or guide future decisions report higher levels of purpose, positive relationships and psychological well-being. The findings affirm that memory isn’t just a record of the past. It can be a tool for shaping how we see and relate to ourselves in the present.

And, writing down your reverse bucket list is a way of reinforcing your personal narrative: “I’ve handled hard things,” “I’ve lived through change,” “I’ve discovered what matters to me.” This is why it’s more grounding in practice than in theory.

Hustle culture always nudges us to become someone new, but there’s something deeply powerful about remembering who we already are.

3. It Builds Momentum For The Future

It might feel very strange to look back in order to move forward, but when you revisit moments where you acted with courage, took initiative or simply showed up for yourself, you are building self-efficacy, also known as the belief that you can do hard things again.

A 2021 study published in the Journal of Consumer Affairs found that people who were asked to recall successful financial experiences felt more confident in their ability to manage money. That boost in belief didn’t just stay in their heads. It showed up in their behavior. They planned more, followed through better and made more thoughtful decisions.

The same holds true beyond finances. When you remember what you’ve already faced and how you handled it, you remind yourself that you’ve got what it takes. And that kind of self-trust is the fuel for whatever comes next.

Your past wins, regardless of how quiet or overlooked, aren’t just feel-good moments. They’re proof. A reverse bucket list helps you gather that proof, and bestows you with the power to move forward while also recognizing your past.

To try your hand at a reverse bucket list, set aside 30 minutes with a journal, perhaps some music or candles to evoke sensory stimulation or anything that would help you immerse yourself in the process. Let this be a fun activity, not a checklist that makes you feel self-critical. Use the prompts below to get started:

• A moment I felt truly alive was…
• Something I did that scared me (but I am proud of)…
• A time I showed up for someone I loved…
• A personal milestone that no one else noticed…
• One thing I’ve healed from, grown through or made peace with…

Allow yourself to write without censoring. Let small moments count. For you, learning how to make soup from scratch or surviving a difficult year could be worth applauding. Your life is unique. So, instead of pressuring yourself to be more, pause and honor who you’ve already been.

Curious if you’ve got the spark to turn past wisdom into future momentum? Take this science backed Flourishing Measure to find out.