3 Ways To Prevent A ‘Vacation Meltdown’ With Kids, By A Psychologist

Recreation is a powerful way to connect and bond with your family. Family vacations, in particular, give you and your family a chance to get away from the monotony of everyday routine and be fully present with one another. Although, as parents, this can be a challenging experience.

In the process of managing your child’s energy dips to navigating teenage mood swings, while trying to make it all “worth it” for everyone, vacations can be more overwhelming than relaxing.

However, it doesn’t always have to be stressful. The key to remedy this is better preparation. While you definitely cannot predict or foresee the ups and downs that may happen, you can certainly make a plan catering to your family’s needs, which can make a major difference.

Here are three ways to plan a better vacation with your family, based on research.

1. Involve Everyone In The Planning Process

As a parent, you’ll likely do most of the planning for the trip, while trying to keep everyone’s preferences in mind, which can be a lot to juggle. A better and more harmonious way to do the planning is by involving everyone, including your kids and teenagers.

A 2021 study published in the Journal of Travel Research explored how children’s involvement in family travel decisions is influenced by their own knowledge and emotional connection to tourism, as well as by the family’s communication style.

Researchers found that children who are more knowledgeable about travel and feel emotionally attached to it tend to have a greater influence on both initiating trips and making decisions about activities. Additionally, families that encourage open and concept-oriented communication allow children to participate more actively in planning.

Based on the study’s findings, one practical suggestion for better vacations is to engage in open communication within the family when planning trips. You can do this by encouraging your children to share their ideas, preferences and concerns freely.

Actively listen to them without any judgment. This reinforces the idea that everyone’s voice matters and gives a sense of autonomy to each and every member of the family, making it less likely that they’ll be upset or frustrated on the trip.

Start with conducting family meetings or casual planning sessions where each member, regardless of age, has a say. This helps reduce potential conflicts and stress, making the trip smoother and more enjoyable for all.

Ultimately, this way, as a family, you change your decision-making in a way that better reflects everyone’s interests. Eventually, this leads to greater enthusiasm and cooperation during the vacation.

2. Build Buffer Time Into Your Schedule

One significant stressor during family vacations can be the pace of the trip.

While the idea is to have fun, an overpacked to-do list can leave you and your children feeling more exhausted than rejuvenated. This is because when itineraries are packed without breaks, it leaves little to no time for rest, play or spontaneous fun.

A nonstop schedule can deplete your children’s energy, which eventually increases their irritability and reduces their ability to enjoy the trip fully. All of which equally impacts you, as a parent, causing you to feel more fatigued than rested on a trip.

Research published in Tourism Review analyzed the influence of various stressors on overall vacation stress.

The researchers highlight that vacation stress is a multi-dimensional concept. The three main categories are pre-trip stressors (such as planning and preparation), travel stressors (such as transportation delays) and destination stressors (stress experienced at the vacation location).

Destination stressors, out of three, were identified as the strongest factor contributing to overall vacation stress.

This usually happens because destination stress can feel overwhelming with the many unpredictable factors that you may encounter. These may include crowded attractions, long waiting lines, sensory overload from new sights and sounds, unfamiliar routines and sometimes even unexpected weather changes.

For children, especially, these stressors can quickly lead to meltdowns or withdrawn behavior. This is an added stressor for the parents.

For these reasons, intentionally creating buffer time can be a great solution. Mindfully try to incorporate it into your travel itinerary.

Extra time between activities can serve as a breather for everyone to rest and recalibrate. This helps prevent the buildup of fatigue and frustration that often leads to irritability.

It’s important to remember that a vacation isn’t a checklist to complete. Let your focus be more on doing less but doing it right, which means prioritizing quality time that suits everyone’s age and needs while cherishing the time you spend together.

3. Gamify Waiting Time

Vacations with kids often involve adventure parks and crowded places that involve waiting in lines for long periods of time. This is a common source of tension.

It’s okay to acknowledge that waiting is frustrating and sometimes exhausting. You’re doing your best and that counts for a lot.

In this situation, turning the inevitable waiting time into playtime can make a huge difference. Try to stay lighthearted by playing simple games, telling funny stories or sharing little observations about your surroundings.

You can even engage in planning future activities together while you wait to transform the experience. Encouraging kids to stay engaged not only distracts them from boredom and irritation, but also strengthens family connections.

When parents stay calm and engaged, it sets a positive tone that helps kids relax, too.

Bringing along snacks and small comfort items can also be a game-changer during such long waits.

Hunger and fatigue can often amplify irritability for many, making patience even harder to maintain. Having familiar snacks on hand can provide quick energy boosts and a sense of comfort, which helps stabilize mood and keep spirits high.

A 2024 survey conducted by Talker Research found that three and a half hours into a holiday trip is when parental stress typically peaks. One of the top reasons for this is the stress of keeping kids entertained and managing temper tantrums. What helped the most, according to 83% of parents, was having a good roster of snacks on hand.

Keep in mind, you just need to find a rhythm that works for everyone. Remember to stay flexible in your approach and turn small moments into opportunities for connection. This way, even the most tedious parts of a trip can become meaningful.

It’s in these in-between moments, while waiting, laughing or simply being together, that some of the most cherished memories are made.

To transform your vacation experience, focus on what works for your family, keeping each member in mind. Making everyone feel involved, connected and well-rested will help create more harmony and ease.

One of the most powerful shifts you can make is in your mindset. Traveling with children naturally involves mood swings, tantrums and unexpected moments that will test your patience.

The key is to prepare yourself to respond thoughtfully rather than react impulsively. Things may not always go as planned and that’s okay. Staying flexible and attuned to your family’s needs will help you power through moments of frustration and create space for connection, even when things don’t go perfectly.

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