4 Habits Couples In Fulfilling Relationships Share, By A Psychologist

At the heart of any fulfilling relationship is how safe, seen and secure you feel when you’re with your partner. But in the tidal wave of everyday life, the tiny moments of connection that used to come so easily often get lost in the shuffle. And before you know it, you’re feeling like you’ve lost the spark that made love so easy.

Reigniting that chemistry begins with four easy habits, ones you likely did naturally when you initially started dating. With some purpose and persistence, they’re easier to revive than you may think.

Here are four habits that sustain love and satisfaction in relationships.

1. Playfulness And Physical Affection

The best part about being in an emotionally fulfilling relationship is knowing you can show up exactly as you are, with everything that makes you “you.”

When couples feel secure, they often express affection through doing things that may appear silly, such as light teasing, playful tussles, acting like children, head rubs or holding hands.

These non-sexual touches and moments of harmless absurdity signal emotional safety that says, “I feel safe enough with you to let my guard down.”

In fact, a 2024 study published in Scientific Reports looked at over 460 couples and explored how different kinds of playfulness show up in relationships. They described four types of adult playfulness:

• Other-directed. Using playfulness to connect with your partner.
• Lighthearted. Taking life less seriously and going with the flow.
• Intellectual. Being playful with ideas and conversations.
• Whimsical. Having a quirky, fun-loving side.

And this is what they found:

Couples who were more playful, especially those who were lighthearted and socially warm, tended to feel more secure in their relationships. They were less likely to avoid intimacy or feel anxious about being loved. Playfulness also helped reduce romantic jealousy.

So, when you joke around, wrestle on the couch or make up weird play-pretend scenarios, they signal a fundamental sense of safety in your relationship. Over time, this safety becomes the groundwork for deeper intimacy, ease of communication and a partnership that feels emotionally spacious.

2. Domestic Chores As Rituals Of Intimacy

The most meaningful moments in a relationship don’t necessarily happen during planned dates or long getaways. While these events can deepen commitment, real bonding often takes place in everyday “micro-moments.”

When a relationship is emotionally satisfying, the ordinary turns extraordinary simply because it’s shared with your partner. Doing chores together such as cooking or watching your plants grow, even deciding “what to eat today” can turn into small rituals of connection.

A 2020 study of over 480 couples, published in Socius, found that sharing household chores is closely tied to higher relationship satisfaction, but not just because the work is split. The key factor was how partners communicated around these tasks.

When communication was open, supportive and emotionally attuned, couples were more likely to share domestic work in a way that felt fair and unifying. For women, especially, having a partner who contributed and communicated well led to a deeper sense of satisfaction and equity. For men, good communication often follows from sharing chores, highlighting how participation itself can reinforce closeness.

Domestic labor carries emotional meaning. It’s not just about cleaning or cooking. It reflects care, investment and mutual respect in the shared understanding that “We are doing this life together.”

3. Daily Emotional Check-Ins

When you are in a relationship that feels emotionally safe and connected, daily emotional check-ins come naturally. You find some time to spend together simply to check in on how everything’s going lately, whether that’s in the morning over breakfast and shared coffee or at night when you are winding up after a long day of work.

And this is more important than you may think.

A 2020 study explored how daily relationship mindfulness — being openly and receptively attentive to your partner in the present moment — affects day-to-day relationship behaviors.

Researchers found that on days when one partner was more mindful, couples experienced:

• Fewer negative behaviors like snapping or shutting down.
• More positive behaviors such as affection, warmth and compliments.

Interestingly, when relationship mindfulness was low on a given day, many partners with insecure attachment styles responded with more positive behaviors the next day, possibly as a way to “make up for it.” The study shows that even small daily fluctuations in presence and attunement can shape the emotional tone of your relationship.

4. Parallel Play And Creative Collaboration

There’s a unique sort of emotional intimacy that emerges when couples create side by side, working on their own thing while knowing the other person is right there with them.

This kind of “parallel play” and collaborative effort can come from shared hobbies, such as playing different games side by side simply because you enjoy their company, writing screenplays together to know what their inner world feels like or playing music and singing covers. You can even help each other with work if you’re in the same field.

In 2021, a study published in Psychology of Music discovered that couples who spent time doing shared music activities, such as listening to a song together or making music for fun, reported that they had higher levels of commitment, positive communication and emotional coordination within their relationship.

Surprisingly, structured performances and official duets weren’t what created this sense of closeness. It was the casual, extemporaneous co-creation that created a closer sense of “us.”

The authors refer to this as the Shared Musical Activities in Relationships (SMAR) model, demonstrating the way music can subtly coordinate emotions, fuel better communication and create deeper relational trust.

This shows that emotional connection doesn’t always require a deep conversation. Sometimes presence and support are enough, which affirms, “We are team; it’s us against the world.”

By following these four habits, couples can build emotionally fulfilling relationships. Sometimes, all it takes is the intent and willingness to bring back what lit you up when you first started dating.

Want to know how emotionally fulfilling your relationship really is? Take this science-backed test to see where you and your partner stand: Relationship Flourishing Scale