3 Lessons From ‘Eat Pray Love’ To Heal Post-Divorce, By A Psychologist

The dissolution of a marriage is often one of the most challenging and emotionally taxing experiences a person can endure. It’s a time filled with profound loss, confusion and a sense of unmooring as you navigate the world alone once more.

The consequences extend far beyond the legal paperwork; they seep into your emotional well-being, sense of identity and even your belief in love. The challenges that follow are numerous: rebuilding your life, rediscovering who you are outside of your marriage and healing from the pain that accompanies the end of such a significant chapter.

Yet, as difficult as this journey may be, it’s also an opportunity — a chance to push through the darkness and emerge on the other side stronger and more self-aware. More often than not, the key to this transformation lies in your own hands. You must take charge of your healing, making conscious decisions to nurture yourself, seek growth and embrace the possibilities that lie ahead.

Eat Pray Love is a film that resonates with many who find themselves at this crossroads. Played by Julia Roberts in the film, Elizabeth Gilbert’s real-life story teaches us that healing and growth after divorce are not only possible, but can also lead to a more fulfilling and authentic life.

Here are three ways Eat Pray Love can help guide you on this journey, whether you’re recovering from divorce or nursing heartbreak of any kind.

1. Embrace Self-Discovery And Nourishment

In the “Eat” phase of her journey, Liz Gilbert revels in the simple pleasures of life, especially through the rich culinary experiences of Italy. This part of her story is about more than just indulging in delicious food — it’s about letting herself experience joy and pleasure without the usual constraints of chasing productivity or experiencing guilt or self-judgment.

After a breakup, it’s common to feel unworthy of happiness, as if you need to earn back the right to enjoy life. But this mindset only deepens the pain and prolongs the healing process.

When a marriage ends, it’s natural to feel lost or disconnected from who you are. Years of sharing your life with someone else can blur your sense of self. Engaging in self-discovery — whether through travel, new hobbies or simply spending time alone — can help you reconnect with your own desires and needs.

Allow yourself the freedom to indulge in self-care and exploration. This might mean trying new activities, visiting new places or simply savoring life’s pleasures without guilt. Reconnect with what you love, rediscover your interests and take care of both your body and soul.

This journey is vital for rebuilding your sense of self and creating a healthier, more balanced life after a period of upheaval. A 2015 study published in Social Psychological and Personality Science found that improving your sense of self can greatly aid recovery after a breakup, reducing emotional distress, loneliness and the tendency to use terms like “we” when talking about the end of the relationship — terms that often keep us stuck in the past.

2. Seek Personal Growth And Inner Peace

In the “Pray” phase of Liz’s journey, she immerses herself in meditation and spiritual practices at an ashram in India. This part of her story isn’t just about religious rituals; it’s about turning inward to confront her deepest emotions and find peace through self-reflection. After the end of a marriage, it’s easy to get caught up in distractions or negative thoughts, which can make genuine healing more elusive.

When a marriage ends, it stirs up a storm of emotions, including anger, sadness, fear and uncertainty. Taking time for mindfulness or spiritual practices, like meditation, prayer or simply quiet reflection, can help you reconnect with your inner self and release the heavy emotions that accompany the dissolution of a marriage. Of course, you don’t need to be deeply spiritual to heal — you just need to be present with yourself.

A 2020 study published in Frontiers in Psychology found that exploring deeper meaning through spiritual experiences can help you develop important character strengths like compassion and humility — qualities that might be overlooked during the turmoil of a breakup.

By embracing these strengths, you can better understand your role in the relationship’s end and find a path to forgiveness for your ex and if required, yourself. This process can create space for emotional healing and strengthen your connection with yourself, helping you recognize and fulfill your true needs as you move forward.

3. Open Yourself Up To Love Again

In the final phase of her journey, Elizabeth travels to Bali and meets Felipe — played by Javier Bardem — and learns to open her heart to love once more. Despite her fears and past pain, she embraces love as an essential part of her healing and growth. This part of her story is about integrating her lessons and moving forward with renewed self-awareness.

After a painful separation, it’s natural to build emotional walls for self-protection. However, love — whether romantic, platonic or self-love — is crucial for healing. Love, in its various forms, can be a powerful catalyst for recovery and growth, helping you move past pain and embrace a hopeful future.

Research supports the significance of love in our lives, suggesting that it’s not just an emotion but a dynamic biological process influenced by social interactions. These interactions impact our cognitive and physiological states, shaping future relationships.

For instance, studies reveal that oxytocin, often known as the “love hormone,” has positive effects on stress and well-being, such as lowering blood pressure, reducing cortisol levels and enhancing social interactions.

So, take your time. As you rebuild and gain clarity about your needs in a partner, you’ll naturally open up to new relationship possibilities and be better prepared to engage with them authentically.

Start with small steps: reconnect with friends, strengthen family bonds and nurture self-love. Whether you choose to find joy and fulfillment in singlehood or begin to explore new relationships, knowing you deserve love and embracing vulnerability is a part of the process.

As you navigate this challenging chapter, remember that the most important relationship is the one you have with yourself. Nurture it, and everything else will follow.

How are you holding up after the end of your relationship? Take this research-backed test to gain insight into your emotional state: Breakup Distress Scale