Dolley Madison, the fashionable wife of President James Madison, was the hostess with the mostess in Washington from 1809 to 1817. She threw the best parties in town, hands down.

So, what would she say about President Donald Trump’s ballroom? She would say, “Let’s have a squeeze,” which was the nickname for her parties because they were packed with people. She would welcome the addition and understand the need for it.

In her era, inviting congressmen and senators from both political parties to a White House party was dangerous. President Thomas Jefferson steered away from it. Why? Duels. As Americans have seen a rise in political violence today, it is easy to feel the horror that Americans experienced when they learned of a duel. Men would challenge each other to a duel where they would each fire a shot at the other to settle a conflict.

Vice President Aaron Burr infamously shot and killed Secretary of the Treasury Alexander Hamilton in a duel in 1804. The scandal was particularly bitter for Dolley. After all, Burr had introduced her to then-Rep. Madison years earlier. She wanted to change the culture and cancel dueling.

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Gilbert Stuart (American, 1755–1828) painted first lady Dolley Payne Madison, 1804, oil on canvas, in The White House Collection. (VCG Wilson/Corbis via Getty Images)

Despite the risk, Dolley wasn’t afraid of inviting members of opposite political parties to the president’s house for one special reason. Ladies. By remembering the ladies and inviting women to these events, she ensured that men would be on their best behavior. They would dare not challenge each other to a duel in the presence of ladies.

Dolley’s open-house parties on Wednesdays were much more than having fun, although there was plenty of ice cream and goodies. These events served an important purpose; one we need today.

By bringing congressmen, senators, the press and average Joes and Janes to the White House, she gave her husband the opportunity to mix and mingle with them informally. In this way, Madison could hear their positions on different policies in a relaxed setting. This was an invaluable gift. These parties also gave members of Congress an excuse to talk informally to those in the other party. Sometimes, attendees met a celebrity. The lauded writer of “The Legend of Sleepy Hollow,” Washington Irving, attended upon occasion as did future president General William Henry Harrison, who was the hero of the hour for his western grit.

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At this time, newspapers used the term “White House” as a pejorative or a negative. It was a way to heckle or troll the president. Burr famously threatened to tear down that “White House” and send Congress packing. In contrast, one journalist was so impressed with Dolley’s parties that he turned the name White House into a positive in newspapers. He believed that the “White House, for so it is called here” reflected well on American ideals. He was correct. The name stuck.

Dolley would appreciate Trump’s construction challenges. At the start of her husband’s first term, Dolley renovated the White House interior with a professional architect, Benjamin Latrobe. Together, they created a stage, an appropriate backdrop on which to conduct the people’s business and have fun. She decorated the oval room, which is today’s Blue Room, in red. Today’s Red Room was Dolley’s music room which was decorated in her favorite color, sunny yellow. Her portrait hangs in the Red Room today.

Dolley would certainly understand Trump’s need and vision for a larger space. Today, America has 100 senators, back then, there were 34. Back then, there were fewer than 200 members of the House of Representatives, but now there are more than 400. The East Room fills up quickly at these White House events. Seating is limited. Hence, the need for more space.

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Seeing demolition pictures of the East Wing today is a bit jarring to the eye. But today’s opposition to Trump is coming from people who just a short year ago were calling on Americans to build back better. That’s what Trump is literally doing to the White House. Dolley would understand this as well. After all, in 1814, the British military marched into Washington and burned both the U.S. Capitol and the White House along with every government building except for the post office and patent office. She saved the full-length painting of George Washington from the State Dining Room. It hangs in the East Room today.

With her stage gone in1814, no house could compare. This didn’t stop them. Thanks to President Madison and Dolley, they won a political battle with congressmen, who wanted to move the capital to Philadelphia. They devised a plan to rebuild both the Capitol and the White House by relying on different architects to speed the process.

A McCrery Architects rendering provided by the White House of the new ballroom. (The White House)

After the burning of the White House, Dolley took stock of her life. As much as she loved entertaining, she decided to wear a new hat, or a fashionable Regency-era, turban-feathered tiara in her case. Dolley did something that no president’s wife had done before while her husband was president. She became the first wife of a president to engage in public service.

She expanded the role and expectations for the president’s wife. Dolley started an orphanage for girls that still exists today with a different focus under the name Hillcrest Children and Family Center. Back then, if children did not have a father, they were considered an orphan even if their mother was still alive. The orphanage received a charter from Congress, and the ladies of Washington City pooled their resources to launch and operate the orphanage. The effort was a noble cause.

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Americans can see echoes of her charity today, especially the focus on children. First lady Melania Trump recently announced that she had been working with Russia’s President Vladimir Putin to reunite Ukrainian children with their families. Prioritizing the next generation was and is important, no matter the era.

By bringing congressmen, senators, the press and average Joes and Janes to the White House, she gave her husband the opportunity to mix and mingle with them informally.

The wailing and gnashing of teeth that critics are unleashing against President Trump’s ballroom is nothing but silly noise from elite group thinkers lacking a mind of their own.

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When Dolley Madison died, she was called “the first lady of the land.” This is where the term “first lady” comes from, and in this way, Dolley was the first, first lady.

If she were alive today to witness Trump’s ballroom construction, she would say, “Pass the punch and fire up the Marine Band.” It’s time to bring people together, one party at a time.

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