No ‘Epstein client list’ exists, FBI investigation officially confirms

When Jeffrey Epstein took his own life on August 10, 2019, the circumstances were so bizarre that, instantly, conspiracy theories were hatched as to who had had him killed and why, along with how they made it into his cell and disguised the murder as a suicide.

Because of that original enormous leap from known fact —Epstein was dead— to the unsubstantiated theory that he was murdered and all that followed from that ridiculous lead of logic, many millions of hours have been wasted in chat rooms and Reddit threads as well as on better-known podcasts.

Now all the speculation and theorizing is reduced to ashes and wasted time, and many, many dealers in the conspiracy trade are going to be not only deeply disappointed, but also very likely to lose money.

JEFFREY EPSTEIN DIED BY SUICIDE, DID NOT HAVE CLIENT LIST: DOJ MEMO

The internet first made it possible and then made it easy to monetize anger and conspiracy. Individuals with a family, friends or community deficit in their lives could and did find each other in the strangest places online. Bonds were formed. Alliances and friendships developed. And in some sectors, money was being made peddling Epstein theories.

Unfortunately, many found themselves in far-off corners of the web where the similarly lonely or disconnected could find companionship, as well as food and drink for their own beliefs. It’s a long known and often described phenomenon known as “confirmation bias.”

“Confirmation bias” is the tendency to interpret new evidence as confirmation of one’s existing beliefs or theories. Facts and theories that conflict with dearly held beliefs are dismissed as false, erroneous or incomplete and sometimes even as proof positive of the original bias.

This isn’t new or novel. If there’s a human alive who isn’t subject to the mighty pull of confirmation bias, I haven’t met him or her.

My own vulnerability is that I love seeing conspiracies debunked and rarely are they as thoroughly shattered as the idea that Jeffrey Epstein —a monster for sure and one certain to have been convicted of many heinous crimes in the most humiliating of fashions— kept a list of “clients” for whom he procured minors for intimate and criminal acts.

Now the gavel has come down and Attorney General Pam Bondi and FBI Director Kash Patel have made the finding official: There is no “Epstein list.” Further, Epstein wasn’t murdered. He killed himself.

“After a thorough investigation, FBI investigators concluded that Jeffrey Epstein committed suicide in his cell at the Metropolitan Correctional Center in New York City on August 10, 2019. This conclusion is consistent with previous findings,” the July 7 memo from the Department of Justice and the FBI states.

That’s it. There is no list. He took his own life. Period. End of the real story.

There are almost certainly many relieved participants in Epstein’s depravities who are walking with a lighter step this week than last, but it turns out the creep wasn’t so stupid as to make a list and leave it for investigators to find down the road.

That Epstein killed himself is also so much easier to believe than the theories adduced for his alleged murder by powerful, even shadowy figures who could not afford the “list” to come to light. It’s actually much easier to understand the overwhelming guilt and disgrace driving Epstein to take his own life.

Suicide counselors often are heard to tell the unstable that suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem, and they need to attack the problem not end the pain.

That excellent advice would have very little impact, however, on so thorough a villain as Epstein. There was nothing but endless humiliation ahead of him. Suicide is never moral, but in very rare cases like Epstein’s, it does make sense whereas in many cases it doesn’t and shocks. Epstein taking his own life was never shocking to me or to most people. But it was a stumbling block to some. Into the rabbit holes they dove.

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Will the DOJ/FBI “final” finding end the small culture of the Epstein-obsessed and their continued search for new “smoking guns?”

Of course not. Expecting a conspiracy-addicted and addled individual to suddenly emerge from the the caverns of the web with a public declaration, or even a private recognition, that they have wasted all that time and effort on a made-up scenario is a lot to ask. Even extremely well-adjusted folks have difficulty cutting loose what are known as “sunk costs.”

“Sunk costs” are investments of time or money, expenses of real or imagined value, that have already been incurred and cannot be recovered, regardless of future decisions.

“Sunk costs” ought to be irrelevant to future decision-making because they are unchangeable —as in “sunk”— but “ought” and “are” live in different universes.

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An investor riding a stock down, down, down until bankruptcy is made formal is one obvious example of an individual trapped by their old hopes and dreams for that original investment. So too is pining away for an old flame who has most definitely moved on. The list of examples of sunk costs is as long as the number of human beings.

But rare is the opportunity to make a clean break with an unhealthy obsession. The findings about Epstein that there are no findings ought to be liberating for many: Time to move on! There really —really!— is nothing to see here. Spread the word if you know anyone afflicted with the malady: It is OK to walk away from the conspiracy.

Hugh Hewitt is a Fox News contributor, and host of “The Hugh Hewitt Show,” heard weekdays from 3 pm to 6 pm ET on the Salem Radio Network, and simulcast on Salem News Channel. Hugh drives America home on the East Coast and to lunch on the West Coast on over 400 affiliates nationwide, and on all the streaming platforms where SNC can be seen. He is a frequent guest on the Fox News Channel’s news roundtable hosted by Bret Baier weekdays at 6pm ET. A son of Ohio and a graduate of Harvard College and the University of Michigan Law School, Hewitt has been a Professor of Law at Chapman University’s Fowler School of Law since 1996 where he teaches Constitutional Law. Hewitt launched his eponymous radio show from Los Angeles in 1990. Hewitt has frequently appeared on every major national news television network, hosted television shows for PBS and MSNBC, written for every major American paper, has authored a dozen books and moderated a score of Republican candidate debates, most recently the November 2023 Republican presidential debate in Miami and four Republican presidential debates in the 2015-16 cycle. Hewitt focuses his radio show and his column on the Constitution, national security, American politics and the Cleveland Browns and Guardians. Hewitt has interviewed tens of thousands of guests from Democrats Hillary Clinton and John Kerry to Republican Presidents George W. Bush and Donald Trump over his 40 years in broadcast, and this column previews the lead story that will drive his radio/ TV show today.

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