Dilemma: Don't Really Know Who To Choose

I met this guy called Austin during my final year in school and then we started dating.He was fully of life,very loving and caring, Austin was all anyone could ask for in a relationship. We shared good memories together. But he was just an applicant searching for a job.

2O16 I was posted to Oyo state for youth service. My primary place of assignment was Ibadan. Service was actually boring to me because I had a lot of teachers in my school so I wasn't really doing anything . I decided to go visiting an old friend (Mark) who was working in Lagos.

I met Mark during my pre degree program in Benue, He used to call me his sister cause we were of same tribe. But lost contact with him since he wasn't admitted to the school after the program. Got to know he was working in Lagos through Facebook and since I was serving in Ibadan and it was close to Lagos I decided to go visiting.

Mark was so happy seeing me. But to my my surprise he started calling me baby right from the very day he picked up from the park. We got along so well he never asked me out. So I still kept my relationship with Austin.Distance was a problem between me and Austin so we didn't see all through the year I was serving. Visit to Lagos became more often because I actually enjoyed all the treat giving to me my Mark. My love for Austin started depreciating because I was beginning to fall for Mark.

Suddenly Mark started becoming sick he took all treatment both he was still not fine. Then he related some of the symptoms to me  and since I was a microbiologist a quickly ask him to go Hepatitis test. He tested positive to Hepatitis B virus. From that day I became sacred and I stopped visiting Lagos. After my POP I decided to go spend a week with him Before travelling home.

While in Benue. Mark  calls me everyday. And told me he wants to get married to me. I got vaccinated for hepatitis virus and I decided to visit him. While I was sleeping he went through my phone and read all my chart with Austin. A night before leaving his house he woke me up and told everything he read in my phone. He  said I was a cheat and I was double dating, that I love Austin more than u love him. We both cried all through the night and then I left in the morning. He told me am not ready to get married yet and that if am ready he will know. And from that day he stopped calling me. I called him and I tested him begging for forgiveness but he refused. I also told him of my plans of breaking with Austin but he said I was only lying. So he stopped calling me.

Before visiting Mark I already told Austin that I might get married that year despite the fact I love him so much..

Months passed by Mark did not call me and I didn't break up with Austin again. But Austin woke up one morning called my line and asked of my genotype I told him am AA and then he said he was SS. Tears broke my eyes because he said he wants to marry me and the night before that day Mark called and said asked if am ready to marry him.

Right now am confused don't even know who to say yes to again and don't  know who my parents will accept from the both.


Comments Reply
  • Like this is really heartbreaking to read also...i really feel you should go ahead and marry mark ..or anyone of them that will last longer on earth ...you dont want to marry then after a year or two then end up being a widow...its not just done stall ......But most importantly choose who your heartkeep pounding for

    - regha glory - 2019-10-02 18:07:32 Quote

  • I say this is your life sis. It depends on the believe of your parents to know if your relationship with both of them is actually right. If they are actually God sent life partner, you should ask God what to do I'm this kind of situation.

    - Subomi Oloyede - 2019-10-02 18:12:13 Quote

  • Honestly u made a grave mistake right from the time you started visiting mark what I think is that you are desperate for marriage... Marriage is a life long agreement that means for the rest of your life you'll live with ur partner I won't even advise you on who to choose but honestly speaking ur happiness should be put in consideration before you make a decision you'll regret dont follow someone because he has a car and he works in lagos did u try going through his chats also?.... You don't know this guy well enough and you want to jump into marriage sister be wise 

    - John Snow - 2019-10-02 18:14:16 Quote

  • What I think you should is speak to God about this first an be open to listen. Secondly decide within yourself who you love more between them. But I want you to know that love is not what will keep your marriage if you get married, you guys need to have a vision that keeps you both glowing, good communication skills and try to understand each other.

    Thirdly speak to your parents about it and tell them who you think you prefer with sound evidence.

    Fourthly concerning the medical aspect, an *AA* can get maried to SS.

    - Atanda Temitope - 2019-10-02 18:38:35 Quote

  • At this point, you have to make a decision that carries a lot of weight. I would say if you are a muslim you should move closer to your mosque and if you are a Christian you should move closer to your church. Because no one else knows the future any decision you are taking apart from that will be more like gambling. And if things turns out negative you might live to regret it the rest of your life. Just build trust in God and he will direct your path.

    - Billy John - 2019-10-02 18:44:17 Quote

  • In a circumstance like this you shouldn't be considering who your parents will accept. The answer you find lies in you, btw both of them you should accept the person that will make you happy and not because of anything they did for you. In the end you will end up regretting because there will be no love. If you feel you have the same amount of love for the both of them I will advise you quit both relationship and settle down for a while.

    - Okeimor Success - 2019-10-02 18:53:01 Quote

  • Hnmnmnm very pathetic story. Since you are genotype AA and he's SS there's no problem the both of you can marry. Your possible offspring will be AS althrough, except you don't want to marry him.. AS/AS can marry, AA/AS can marry, AS/SS cannot. 

    - Monday Usman - 2019-10-02 19:34:19 Quote

  • The decision us left to who you genuinely love and can sacrifice to stand with no matter the challenges you just have to keep calm your head don't give room for depression then think well on what to do 

    - Oretan Ayomipo Micheal - 2019-10-02 19:36:06 Quote

  • Pray over it and follow your instinct, this is a foeever lasting matter that has to do with your future.

    Let your parents know about so they can assist you with prayer or other idea.

    - Olawole Taofeek - 2019-10-02 19:36:19 Quote

  • This is not a problem. Since your genotype is AA and his Is SS, it doesn't matter, the only problem is that almost all your children will be a carrier but Normal.

    So from your statement it seems like you loves him more., I will advise you to live with the one that you love much. Since this genotype combination can't lead to production of Sicklers childs.

    - Najib Sani - 2019-10-02 19:37:27 Quote

  • This is a really tough one...its really hard to decide for you...but I pray that you get the reply that you're looking for in this comment section...I'll just say you should pray and this k about it catefully

    - Adeoluwa Adesina - 2019-10-02 19:38:04 Quote

  • You need serious counselling, no harm in this but to me your final decision should be none of the above because you are not yet at your destination point. Just be more prayerful and advice-seeking.

    - Funke Grace Fapohunda - 2019-10-02 19:39:24 Quote

  • What to do is very simple, table it before God. He is the founder If marriage but ensure there is nothing in between you and two of them for clarification. And having done that, you may gave them condition to see who among them will be able to stand it for you to be convinced.

    - Dairo Idowu - 2019-10-02 19:56:01 Quote

  • This is a serious matter. When its comes to choosing life partner one needs to be very careful and prayerful.. First thing I will advice you to do is look out for what you want in a man and why you want to settle down with the person.. Austin been ss is not a problem if you truly loves him you can marry him since your genotype is AA... You can see a counsellor also and follow your instinct. 

    - Adegoke Afeez - 2019-10-02 20:06:36 Quote

  • Hmmmmmmm hepatitis B bad disease , it doesn't kill , sickle cell kills ... I will sayu should te your mum about it, follow your heart, tell people older than you , talk to your pastor about ,it will help

    - Oladele Deborah - 2019-10-02 20:09:53 Quote

  • Very pathetic story line , if you really love Austin, I think you should get married to him , SS and AA can get married that won't bring any problem to your children, as for mark he didn't trust you he is lacking interest in you , just don't force yourself to him, get married to Austin and enjoy your life 

    - Ayomide Tanimowo - 2019-10-02 20:13:31 Quote

  • You messd up,by going to visit a guy that is not your blood brother when you are in a relationship with a guy you love.clean up your mess and marry Austin 

    But then who do you really want?

    - Chinenye Mirabel - 2019-10-02 20:16:47 Quote

  • Hmn! This case is somehow critical, really you are atvthr great point of delima, but i will advise you to pray for over this situation.

    I pray for you Almighty God will leads you through.

    - Oladipupo Poroye - 2019-10-02 20:23:11 Quote

  • From the look of this whole story,you really love Austin, and he never gave up on you all this times,even when you told him you might get married,he never gave up on you, I advice you go for Austin, concerning the genotype, it's not too bad,just that ur children will be AS. Which is not bad either.

    - Christiana Emmanuel - 2019-10-02 20:25:17 Quote

  • Advice just leave both of them which of them just leave them and look for somebody else cuz someone has access while the other one has hepatitis B it is very wrong so you should have for somebody if you just be patient start your wallpaper for another man that will be best thing for advice you so make sure that's the only thing I can do to you

    - Abubakar Sadeeq Salihu - 2019-10-02 20:32:37 Quote

  • This is hard a lot,you are the one that can choose who you want because you marry somebody you can't live without in marriage so you will decide who you love most and spend your life with

    - Taiwo Itunuoluwa - 2019-10-02 20:32:49 Quote

  • Wow!!

    This is a very interesting story indeed 

    it I thought that Mark had a disease so wait till he treats himself and if he doesn't marry the Mark

    But you were the one who started playing a dangerous game since you started seeing Mark and all

    Distance shouldn't make you want to feel loved from someone else

    You need to be faithful and committed to that one person you love

    - Joseph Lawrence - 2019-10-02 20:40:31 Quote

  • I pray that God give you guidance on how to solve this dilenma, but you need to sit dowm with a counselor and explain in details without leaving any stones out so that the counselor can show you how to solve this case with caution. Be very cautious when dealing with thos issue and with prayers let the God you serve guide you in spirit.

    - emeka ofuonye - 2019-10-02 20:47:03 Quote

  • Well, this is a complicated situation. But the answer is really simple. Who do you love, and who can you see yourself spending the rest of your life with? Whoever it is you think you can spend the rest of your life with, then stick with that one cos that's who you truly love

    - Annie Ray - 2019-10-02 20:48:19 Quote

  • It is up to u to figure out who's the best for u. Just follow ur heart and choose the fellow u will always be happy around, no matter the situation that comes around.

    - Omoloye David - 2019-10-02 20:51:38 Quote

  • ToWell, this is a complicated situation. But the answer is really simple. Who do you love, and who can you see yourself spending the rest of your life with? Whoever it is you think you can spend the rest of your life with, then stick with that one cos that's who you truly love

    - Ezeh Somtoo Emmanuel - 2019-10-02 20:53:46 Quote

  • Stop asking yourself what you are going to present to your parents

    Instead ask yourself who you are going to live with and who's going to be the father of your kids. 

    If Austin can just wake up one morning and want you because of your genotype, he can wake up one day and leave too 

    - Emmanuel-Mike Gbenekeme - 2019-10-02 20:54:20 Quote

  • Hmmmmmm. I suggest you marry Austin. Help Austin. Thank God you're AA and a lady. Austin really needs you in his life. And he will be ready to be there for you. You will forever be his little God. Mark can still see another lady, though his illness is manageable too, he didn't really love you as you claimed he does. And what Mark had known agai

    - Olayinka Oluwafemi - 2019-10-02 21:02:46 Quote

  • Wow this is really something.

    Well i think you should sit down and think properly who truly do you love, who do you think you can have a future with, who will live and cherish you more.

    Well whatvi would do is that since Mark has hapatitis B and Austin is a sickler. Since you're AA its fine for you to marry Austin but I don't think it's really safe marrying someone with hepatitis B because at times it vam be really deadly.

    I hope you'll be able to decide

    - Babatunde Wuraola - 2019-10-02 21:13:14 Quote

  • What you need now is wisdom. Because asking your parent doesn't find solution to your problem, you are the one to decide who you are going to stay with. Just follow your heart.

    Telling or confirming from your parent is not a solution 

    - Oyekola Olamide - 2019-10-02 21:14:04 Quote

  • It does not really matters if your parents love him,ask yourself maybe you do ,and if you do ,I will advice you to go for Austin cos I think he your real husband.

    - Choice Omowunmi - 2019-10-02 21:25:43 Quote

  • My dear, firstly you need to pray about it..

    Also, if you love the guy with the SS genotype, then go for him. I don't think there's any harm facing your children because they'll only end up as carriers not SS. So I fell you're safe to be with him if you really love him.

    - Chibunna Ugwu - 2019-10-02 21:27:18 Quote

  • Hmm.. this is touching. You just have to stay with austin. There is nothing God cannot do. Just pray and his blood genotype can change. 

    You just have to stay calm and believe mark is gone for good and keep focus with whom you are with. One thing in life is considering the past as a past and not trying to ascribe blames.

    - Ealefoh Adesuwa - 2019-10-02 21:32:45 Quote

  • This is a serious issue, For me I will say you should marry the ss, because all through the year both of you didn't see and still called to here from you.

    - Favour Agbaliko - 2019-10-02 21:46:00 Quote

  • Ohh! I really feel sorry for you, you can still go on with the marriage it's just that you stand the risk of having all your children as carrier's (AS). Pray you find solace in your decision.

    - JOSHUA ADESE - 2019-10-02 21:47:30 Quote

  • This is sad .. 

    I'd advice you to sit down and think through. Who do you think will offer more in the marriage and who you love more. 

    Quick reminder: marriage is not one easy thing 

    - Tosin Joseph - 2019-10-02 21:51:19 Quote

  • Whoa!!!

    I think you should give yourself a breather first. Take sometime to think deeply on who you really love and would be committed to you. Then pray too God about it for guidance in order not to make a wrong choice.

    - Shalom Michael - 2019-10-02 21:51:58 Quote

  • I would say that the parents aspect most times is not really the criteria for deciding the right person because they would not be there with you. So check out for the one your heart chooses and put it in prayers.

    - Uche Ebube - 2019-10-02 21:57:43 Quote

  • Let your heart,  go for the person you love the most,  the decision is yours to make,  make it right without breaking anyones feeling as for you and the SS guy you can marry AA and SS is compatible. God will help you

    - Oluwapelumi Adebayo - 2019-10-02 22:03:50 Quote

  • You are indeed presented with tough decisions to make at your disposal. However, considering the genotype issue, you are a shield on Austin and nothing is wrong at all if you  two decides to get married, but on the other hand, think about what you stand also to benefit from both guys, or better still, abstain from both, but as difficult as it may be, know where your joy and happiness lies, and make your decision. 

    - PETER MMADUEKE - 2019-10-02 22:03:54 Quote

  • Hmmmmm in my opinion, I would ask you to use you head and not your heart in this, forget about the material things involved. Mark tested positive to hepatitis B, which you know is even more deadly than Tue HIV virus. Austin on the other hand is SS, my sister, of pains me but you have to let both of them go. Think about yourself and your children unborn. This is difficult but believe me, your best is yet to come. You'll heal before you even know what's going on. May God grant you wisdom to make the right decisions

    - Paula King - 2019-10-02 22:04:22 Quote

  • This is ateally complicated situation but I will suggest you think deeply, pray about it before you decide. But you can actually marry Austin i mean AA is the very best genotype match for an SS genotype individual. Both of you can't fear having an SS genotype child.

    - Ndukwe Ikechukwu - 2019-10-02 22:16:06 Quote

  • This is ateally complicated situation but I will suggest you think deeply, pray about it before you decide. But you can actually marry Austin i mean AA is the very best genotype match for an SS genotype individual. Both of you can't fear having an SS genotype child.

    - Ndukwe Ikechukwu - 2019-10-02 22:16:24 Quote

  • See the decision is left to you alone,I suggest you think properly over this issue, follow whoever your heart wants,I suggest you also pray very well about it so you don't pick wrongly.

    - Ayelaje Glory - 2019-10-02 22:22:47 Quote

  • Wow, this is really serious o. Women palaver. Well, since you are confused about it and you don't know the one your parents will pick I will advice you take them one by one to your parents. Let them make their choice. You also know the one you love in your heart. Make your choice

    - Onwa Matthew - 2019-10-02 22:44:37 Quote

  • Wedding  they say is a day but marriage is a life time your first love is Austin and not Mark that aside if you are to Dave a soul then go for that your first love in my opinion but I pray God lead you through (Amin) 

    - Adepoju Musliudeen - 2019-10-02 22:48:08 Quote

  • Marrying a SS since you are AA is not the problem, the problem is that who do you really love and who does GOD want for you. You need guidance from God and counseling maybe from your parents or a marriage counselor 

    - Michael Arajulu - 2019-10-02 23:03:55 Quote

  • This story is complicated. It's left to you to make your choice. I won't advice you to pick to be either of the two because one has hepatitis  and the other is ss. Seriously, this is confusing.I will advice you to look before you leap. You have to be wise

    - Ajala Blessing - 2019-10-02 23:05:59 Quote

  • Austin has always been there for you if not for distance, and you fell in love with Mark because of the treatment he was giving you. Just have this I'm mind and still pray to God for guidance because marriage is a lifetime commitment

    - Blessing Odanaogun - 2019-10-02 23:11:07 Quote

  • This is a delicate issue here but weigh your options in terms of the genotype cos I won't advice you to go on with Austin knowing his genotype best bet take some time far from both of them pray and ask God to guide you make a good decision 

    - COURAGE AGBONS - 2019-10-02 23:24:47 Quote

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