Fiancee Hits Me For The First Time

Am in a fix as it stands. My girlfriend happens to be engaged to my elder brother. They are madly in love right from University days.

I know my brother to be a gentleman and one who loves to stay out of trouble. My girlfriend is also a nice lady; she is different from any other girl my brother has every dated. Am actually happy with their union.

It's two months to their traditional wedding and my friend had laid a serious complaint against my brother. She says my brother slapped her due to a heated argument between them. Afterwards, he apologized.

Now, she wants to know if he is still the right man for her. She already feels threatened to push through with the marriage. Am stuck in the middle because my brother is also pleading with me to talk her.

Am a sister and a friend! What should I do? I don't want to seem partial to my friend nor wicked to my brother.

Comments Reply
  • Try to find out what happened between the both of them, and get them to reconcile. Also talk to your girlfriend to forgive, I Know hitting a lady is wrong, but we are all humans and nobody is above mistake. If she is still in love with your brother she would forgive him

    - Lisa Orire - 2019-10-07 16:35:27 Quote

  • First thing is to know is the cause of their misunderstanding... Since you know your brother is a gentleman,he must have been frustrated. So you talk to your brother well to learn how to control his anger and your girlfriend. Then it's settled. No one is above mistake.

    - Anita Olaseinde - 2019-10-08 11:27:02 Quote

  • My dear for a man to hit his fiancee...there is no excuse no matter the cause of misunderstanding..he should not have raised his hands.

    You might support your brother and help then reconcile but remember that is how it begins the next one might be worse .and by then she might be married already.

    - chi oma - 2019-10-08 13:56:17 Quote

  • The first thing you need to do is to find out what really transpired between the two of them. Try to find out the basis for the argument that led to her been slapped. Its very important to know what really happened so you won't judge the wrong person. It will also make you know how to settle the matter between the both of them since their marriage is just few weeks away.

    - Olanrewaju Babatunde Odumade - 2019-10-08 16:26:43 Quote

  • Try to persuade your friend to go on with the marriage if she really loves your brother. It was an argument and he has realized his mistakes and apologized so I think the man is justified. Anybody can do and undo when they are angry, it's just a mistake that will never be repeated.  And tell your brother to apologize again from the bottom of his heart and I think everything will be fine.

    - Haolat Akeem - 2019-10-08 20:27:15 Quote

  • While trying to reconcile them, know what caused the argument. Your brother need to have anger management therapy because no matter what hitting your spouse is not it at all. Marriage is for life, they both need to work on themselves before taking their vows. 

    - Nduka Daniella - 2019-10-09 17:48:50 Quote

  • Its inappropriate to hit a Lady who's your wife talk more of a fiancée.. If he did that, no matter the cause of the reaction, he would do it again in marriage..meanwhile, since he apologized, the lady in question should fake another scenario that would vex him, if he hits again, Oku adila over. Break up as soon as possible

    - Ifeanyi Johnson - 2019-10-09 18:28:14 Quote

  • It's never a good thing to hit a lady. Maybe your brother had a moment of weakness. He clearly regrets it so talk to your friend and tell your brother to promise her that he will never hit her again

    - Ibrahim Olatunde - 2019-10-09 19:26:58 Quote

  • Before any decision is made, you should know that brought about the misunderstanding and as you further stated, you brother is a gentleman and they habe also been together for quite a long time so what ever be the cause of his action must have been a very deep one

    For the fact that he apologized i think she should let go of the matter, misunderstandings are normal among people in relationships but the least thing for her to do is to back out, she should face reality and try not to do what she might have sone to bring up such reaction from her man

    - Emmanual Reagan - 2019-10-09 20:15:41 Quote

  • Try to find out what is going on between two of you and get it settle but it's not acceptable for a man beating his wife even god course those who did that 

    - Okunola Abeeb Damilola - 2019-10-09 20:19:49 Quote

  • Try to find out what truly happened between them. It's just once, so the tendency that he's a woman beater is low. Besides you grew up with him and you know him more than she does. Talk to her. Apologize on his behalf and also talk to your brother. That are both lucky to have you close.

    - Enatimi Avhunu - 2019-10-09 20:23:04 Quote

  • First you need to find out what's the argument was all about and talk to your brother that no matter the argument or how much she got him angry he shouldn't have slapped her it's not right...

    - Blessing Titilope Ajayi - 2019-10-09 22:19:31 Quote

  • The truth of the matter is that if he hit her once, there is a very good chance that he will hit her again in the future. My advice is to pray for your brother and her and to talk to your brother to stop being violent. When she sees changes, you won't need to talk her through anymore 

    - Daniel Enisan - 2019-10-11 22:54:09 Quote

  • This is really a confusing situation you can't choose between the two, marriage I a life time thing so you have to advise your friend if she love your brother she should forgive him and go on with the wedding but is she is doubting then she should forget it. No one is sure if he will not repeat that again after the wedding

    - Idi Grace - 2019-10-11 23:06:32 Quote

  • You just have to advice both of them differently, caution your brother about beating a woman and warn him of the consequences if he tries it again. Then try apologising to your girlfriend give her your word that it wont repeat. just try your best to make peace between the both.

    - onyeoguzoro munachim Christopher - 2019-10-12 12:27:52 Quote

  • If there's anything I can't stand in a relationship is a man raising his hand to his woman..it wrong, wrong,a an wrong, talk to your brother but you have to be sincere with your friend,tell her if your brother is a woman beater or it was a mistake..

    - Ekanem Fuller - 2019-10-12 18:30:03 Quote

  • Please let her understand that she acted badly by engaging in argument  with her man. It is not every man that tolerates such arguments. She should now know that his fiancee hates argument  in case of tomorrow.

    - Chizuram Nwokoukwu - 2019-10-12 19:43:33 Quote

  • Find out what happened between them that warranted that level of physical abuse then get them to reconcile. He must have obviously been lost in the heat of the disagreement. Advise him to just walk out when next an argument comes up

    - Ayemobuwa Omotayo - 2019-10-12 20:20:27 Quote

  • I think you should try to find out what caused the argument and get them to reconcile. Advise him to walk out when next that sort of thing comes up instead of reacting violently.

    - Ayemobuwa Omotayo - 2019-10-12 20:23:51 Quote

  • What you should do is this, summon the two of them and throw this question; what if you are married would you allow third party in your home. 

    They are mature minded people, they should apologize and promise to never allow such to repeat itself. 

    - Kafilat Atinuke - 2019-10-12 23:32:19 Quote

  • Firstly she was rude in the argument... Not all man can take or keep mute to such behavior... I don't blame for hitting you.. but he should have calmed down a little bit..

    - Farouk Oladosun - 2019-10-12 23:33:34 Quote

  • Well,I don't know what may happened that make your brother to raise his hand.You just have to plead on behalf of your brother. She must learn to forgive and your brother should promise that such thing will never repeat itself

    - Adebayo Olalekan - 2019-10-12 23:51:30 Quote

  • Find out the root of the matter first. Then think of your brother's attitude while you guys were growing up. Is ye the kind of person that gets angered easily? Does your friend provide someone all the time. Knowing the both of them very well you should know who might be the cause of the problem. But just don't be partial to either of them especially your friend

    - Anthony Chiamaka - 2019-10-13 01:35:40 Quote

  • Firstly, No Man should raise his hands to hit a Woman for what so ever reason.

    Secondly, he hit her during their argument that means he might have a bit of anger issues which he hasn't overcome completely although he apologized to her which was the best thing to do after the incidents but the problem lies in his angry issues, if he leaves it unchecked it would still arise after their marriage cause definitely married couples do have arguments and when this arguments arise again he might end up hitting her again. 

    - Emmanuel George - 2019-10-13 01:48:34 Quote

  • Due to the fact that "no one is above mistake" most especially in a relationship....there will always be argument either from the lady or the man.

    My suggestion to this is....so far the lady in question is your best friend which you no her behaviors and your brother as well.

    You can only judge by callin the both for a meeting and hear them out...but if you think you are getting confused its best if u ask God or an elderly person to lead you.

    Be wise dont shatter your brother's heart

    - Abdulwasiu sikiru - 2019-10-13 10:16:57 Quote

  • It is bad to engage in argument because it produces quarrel. That incident happened so that you will know that your husband on the making hates argument. So that when you marry him, you will not make the mistake again. Go on with the marriage. That cannot change your mind. It is a lesson.

    - Chizuram Nwokoukwu - 2019-10-13 16:41:04 Quote

  • Relax your mind girl. If they are madly in love with each other they will settle and then go ahead with the wedding. But if it turns out that it leads to a break up be happy for your brother because he has been saved from marrying a person that might not forgive 🙏 him over little things when they eventually get married. 

    - Monday Neboh - 2019-10-13 16:55:38 Quote

  • Hmmmm.this is a crucial one.from what i know once a guy hits a woman he can never stop it will only take God for such a man to stop it finally.your brother should try working on his temperament so this act doesnt continue.His fiancee can still go on with the wedding plans cos it sounded that’s his first time

    - Olufunke Samuel - 2019-10-13 18:08:45 Quote

  • Hmmmm.this is a crucial one.from what i know once a guy hits a woman he can never stop it will only take God for such a man to stop it finally.your brother should try working on his temperament so this act doesnt continue.His fiancee can still go on with the wedding plans cos it sounded that’s his first time

    - Olufunke Samuel - 2019-10-13 18:09:37 Quote

  • Irrespective of what might have happened or triggered the situation, I am a guy and I ld never be in support of someone raising his hands on a woman no matter what, Cuz if u ask me there are other ways to deal with a woman without raising your hands on her... 

        But since they claim to love each other,  i think he should be given a second chance Cuz we are all human and not perfect ,SO WE ARE ALL BOUND TO MAKE MISTAKES 

    - Bashir Muhammad Raji - 2019-10-13 20:17:32 Quote

  • It is true that her brother is now sorry for slapping her but she was wrong.  She does not suppose to engage in an arguement to the extent of leading to quarrel.  Tell her to abstain from that behaviour.  And she should note that her husband hates arguement.  She should forgive her husband and continue with the marriage preparation.

    - Nwokoukwu Jerome - 2019-10-14 16:03:11 Quote

  • What your brother did was wrong he supposed to control his anger due we are all human at times we make mistakes, he realize his mistake and apologize to her she should please to forgive him and you should try unknown account to make them to reconcile 

    - Luckru Bako - 2019-10-15 13:23:59 Quote

  • Nothing should warrant a man to hit a woman worse his wife to be. Let the both of them settle there problems themselves .The lady should not be pressured to make any decisions let her take her time. It's your brother you need to talk to. He should learn to control his anger. 

    - Unity Kpena - 2019-10-16 21:23:12 Quote

  • First thing to do is to know what causes the issue. Then after knowing that find an elderly person to sit the both of them down and talk to them. Cox if you say you want to talk to them. I'm sure you can't favour the both of them. What you Will say will favour either your brother or your friend. But not the both of them. So just find an elderly person so as to bring them together...

    - Oloyede Faruk Adedayo - 2019-10-21 10:44:32 Quote

  • Interesting...plead with the girl and ask her if she truly love your brother. Ask her if she interrupted your brother while he was still talking because interrupting causes more anger and can lead to a wrong doing and also advise your brother to learn how to control his anger no matter the situation 

    - Ahmad Aisha - 2019-10-22 11:13:34 Quote

  • Try to get to the root of the problem., and try to figure out who was at fault, it was also wrong for him to hit her but ladies can be provoking, just try and find out and try resolving the issue a friend and also as a sister. 

    - Omomolawa Ajulari - 2019-10-23 09:08:11 Quote

  • The cause of the problem should be discovered before you make decisions. Also find out how they want to move from this as it stands. Picking sides won't be nice as you should Ave a neutral approach when speaking with either of them

    - Blessed Ibhadon - 2019-10-25 16:08:35 Quote

  • My advice for you is to visit them and make them both clear their minds ,talk to them in a responsible way and make them realize that it's a challenge for them so ,they have to over come it and anytime they are stressed out ,they should always relax after that ,they can talk about difficult issues between them because stress too can cause it , they should always calm  down for each  other when sorting out matters and in  relationship you need to hold on God and pray  for Better understanding..

    - Adejorin Mary - 2019-11-05 08:49:42 Quote

  • A man who hits you before marriage would definitely hit you even as your husband. Don't be sentimental about this, if you care about your friends happiness, then advice her to end the relationship because it would end in an abusive marriage. The slap could just be a warning signal!!

    - Maaji Job - 2019-12-02 20:27:40 Quote

  • This issue might be a bit complicated and it has to be addressed with wisdom. No man in his right senses has the authority to hit a woman, no matter the situation 

    If they are truly in love, there should not be a room for gender abuse.

    Whatever the case may be, sit your brother down and talk to him

    Ask him whether he would be happy if you are being abused by another man

    His response would be no

    Then tell him to make amends

    Talk to your friend also, tell hernot to do things that would frustrate her lover

    Then they would live peacefully

    - Adewale Afolabi - 2019-12-02 21:08:45 Quote

  • Please find out what led to that act by your brother. And if your brother is a woman beater, please save your Friend from him. Hitting a woman is absurd and I don't subscribe to it. 

    But if it is a grievous matter that led to that, try your best to reconcile the parties and don't lie to cover any side or any party no matter what they have promised you. 

    Marriage is a school you cannot and can never graduate from... So let them count their cost well now o to avoid 'had I know'

    - Chinedum Okafor - 2019-12-27 23:53:56 Quote

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