Some years back i traveled and left my parents, today makes it nineteen years and seventeen days (September 14, 2000. It was a tough decision learning that am about leaving my parents.
In Sept 15th i find myself in kogi state Mopa Amoro local government area of the state, hoping to see my parents and my siblings then i was just 9 it was so difficult for me living in a strange land where the language is not yet understandable.
I cried i sub to no avail when it get to a stage the tears in my eyes dried up then my heart becomes hardened to an extents that absences of people around me is nothing to me any more.
I grew hard and strong to an extents that I only love the noise i made, i cherish quietness a lot and i hardly discuss my feelings to anyone, but at this stage of my life how will it possible for me to keep living such a lonely life i hardly have friends even in my college days.
I now need to settle down and have my own family but i don't know how to go about this.
I really need help please parents and people of wisdom should come to my aids am already 28 years plsssss help.
You need to help yourself because you are not growing younger.You need to start hanging out with friends,going out or probably going to parties ,this will help you to associate with other people and learn new things and don't always forget to pray
You need to go out and meet people ,see through the world,learn new things from different, gain more experience, with that it will help you be a better person
I suggest you should start engaging yourself in social activities like weddings and burials, try to see new people, greet and chat with people, collect their numbers ,check up on them and try to be nice to people and let go grudges then try and seek advice from relationship doctors around and have one on one discussions with them
I feel the first thing to do is hang out with people that will accept you the way you are, don't put up with anyone that makes you feel less like a human being and the more you stick with friends, the more you begin to feel warm inside again.
Having friends that can stick up for you is really a wonderful thing, its not an opportunity that should be missed out on.
Am also a type of person that keep to myself.and I must confess it has been so boring and lonely for me.but with time i started to make friends and i got lively with people.you need to start making friends tell your friends to take you out have fun, from there you will meet someone you can start a relationship with .get married to and have kids.
Well the best thing for you to do is relate with everyone around you,be optimistic ,throw away the past and start to build a foundation for a bright future.Remember dialogue with people well dialoguing does not cost much but they accomplish much.
You need to first of all advice yourself. Know that lonely life is not worth living that is why God did not create only Adam. Make up your mind to associate with people. It won't be easy at first but am sure you will enjoy it later. Learn to share your problems and confusions with the wise and good people around you. It will help you a lot. I wish you good luck dear.
Life of isolation kills very fast, if others never matters to our life's God wouldn't have created them male and female it very obvious that lonlyness has eaten deep into your heart but they is always a way out of any situation mingle with the right people study them learn from them and confild on the reasonable once then and only then you will be free from such,
The idol mind they say is the devils workshop come out of your shell.
I think you need to start surrounding yourself with people. You can start with your colleagues at work.. hang out with them during weekends. If that doesn't work for you then maybe you can start making new friends online. There are several social media sites where you can meet new people such as tinder, badoo, etc. Then from there you can start opening up with people.
My dear making friends is a lot easier than many people people seem to think. Humans are not designed to be alone if you are then you'll feel very lost. Nature does not like vaccum so if you don't speak out or let people see you, you'll easily go unnoticed and there's not greater feeling of pain than that. Also you need to make contact with your family again no matter how many years pass family is love even those who fight each other have particular family members they can rely on. Don't isolate yourself, personal space is good and actually mature but too much space is vaccum and remember Nature does not like vaccum.
I think you need to see a counselor . He or she knows how to go about it. Because no matter what we say in this forum, we don't know what you encounter everyday. Because right now, we don't know the particular situation that made you this way. It's deeper than leaving your parents. So I suggest you see a counselor
You really have to socialize, check it out, you will see that you have some people around you that really love and want to get close to you, try and go close to them and socialize, come out of your shell, God will help you.
Fi4st and foremost you have to put it in prayer, learn to go out to party, club house, amusement parks, attend ceremonies I think from there you will learn how to associate with people and start loving again.
I'll suggest you start going out, with that, you'll be able to make friends and start hanging out, cause a lonely life isn't the best, we need people to survive... You can't continue this way for ever, how will u get a wife if you dont have friends or people around you. May God help you to be better in your social life.
I will not say know exactly how you feel though but I have been in your shoes except for the fact of leaving your parents though I tried it once but it got me no where.. I went back to them asked for forgiveness though I still kept to myself most times but then I realized that I was destroying every God had in design for me.. I feel like you need to step out of your comfort zone a little bit. Do not rush anything, take baby steps. First start saying hello to people around you. When you are at work do whatever your colleagues are doing, go with them for functions and parties and gatherings but while doing all these I think you also need to go and meet your parents ask for forgiveness and always put God first in all you do.
Wow, first I'll say socialism is not thought it's just something that happens, the truth is there are people that are like you that are quiet and yearning to break out, if you can find this people then your happiness is not far at all bro
First you need to reopen your heart again for love and to be loved,deverlop a act of engaging yourself with people around you and also learn to appreciate people little time spent with you and try to reciprocate it to them by so doing will see yourself growing to love and cherish love ones in your life
Loneliness is a very deadly diseases that kill faster than most of the known diseases but it can be cured faster also.
What you need to do is to start attending mostly seminars on singles and married from there you can start mingling with people before you know it the loni less vaccumm í your life will be filled with friends that care
This is a very Important lesson for everyone of us.
I always wonder about those that don't want to leave their Parent.
Will they marry?
Will they wish to get a Family(been a parent)?
You need to go out and experience life out there
Tbh bro, I've been in your shoes before. I always enjoyed being in my comfort zone, not letting anyone know how I feel and all but it got to a point that I realized my life was a bit sad, no friends, I was basically antisocial, so I began making friends, going out often and chilling. Then life began to make sense to me.
A tree they say can not make a forest. I think you should go out and making friends with your class mates, the people in your house. If you are a business person , start making friends with the people around your market place. Join some the social clubs around your place.
I feel you have not fully come to terms with the reality of loss and the walls you have built around your heart are just a means or mechanism to avoid the inevitable fact that you will always lose people at one point in time. Accept the reality,when you do,you can love more knowing that time is fleeting and no one is guaranteed tomorow.
I think, you staying lonely is not a good habits, I think for your youner age should be friendy not unfriendy, any way, the key of a gate is in your hands it left for you to get it open you are not growing younger bro you are getting old, pls walk as a man you are a man
The first thing to do is for you to let go of all hard feelings is in your heart, learn to love yourself and also try to communicate with those surrounding you. Moreover you can try making one or two friends.Try visiting a therapist if it seems hard to do
Having to leave one's parents at a tender age can really prove challenging. For your current situation, i would suggest you engage more in social functions and gatherings including religious gatherings too. Create a social network online too and get ready to set yourself free. Sometimes loneliness is just a state of mind.
Bro try to mingle with friends feel free with your self I guess you will find someone better to settle down with, and as for you leaving your parents at the age of 9 to face this awkward life you did a better thing to your self,
Because not everyone could try it or do it but you did it and God show you the way to the success..
Start by telling yourself the truth, you know u deserve a better life, why not go for it? If you can find your parents go back to them, also learn read books and listen to good music, some helps u to understand the need to associate and the beauty to love.
The Bible says you shall leave your mother and your father, I think at that age you're ripe to leave your parent and settle on your own. Staying with your parent will not allow you to be expose to viral things in life, so you need to come out of your shell and leave your life happily make friend with people that will encourage you even if you're confuse on decision to take. And most importantly you pray for God's direction in life. And don't giveup.
You can start one step at a time try hanging out with people around you like your neighbors from their you will start making friends. Try to socialize with people pick one person you find interest in and communicate with that person regularly
You have to forget your past to face the reality of youyour life. Cultivate habit of reading books on social relation. Try to make it a move by trying to.make new friends either male or female. And ask question from people to gain their attention. And above all, pray to God
The number one reason ur hardness of heart is behind the reason u were away from home.. Come to terms with that reason and tgen try to reach out to ur people . You can't heal if you don't forgive believe me
The first step which is very important is that you've already resolved to change. So you've made progress. Majorly, what you need to do is socialize. Try not to be alone. Also, inform close friends so that they can check on you from time to time. Call, visit, hang out. You'll be fine
Hmmm what a touching story, I think the solution is that you should start going out make new friends but watch out for the kind of friends you follow, though I have been in your shoes before but then I felt hmmm I have my house Tom my self nobody can disturb me I can do anything I want, but at the end of the first week I started missing home And am feeling like I should quit the school and go back home. But I couldn't do that because I have to study
Start with joining a group anywhere,church fellowships, non-governmental organisation etc where you can be able to meet and interact with people ,share ideas.Try and be an active member..These will help you unfold and blend.
For me you have made the first step already,
To further, forgive your past and look at it from the positive perspective, check out how your experience have made you successful to stand and face life with confidence.
Then look at the good side of life both in yourself and others.
Help yourself to be abit social and stay honest with it.
Make sure all you do is legal and good
Good luck my brother
The best bet on this issue is therapy because you need to relieve your heart and soul of past pain and hurts that has made you harden up you need to relate with a professional to help you out because time they say waits for no one and as you are growing older ,no relationship will definitely survive with such act then lastly try your best find your way home and let your parents pray for you
The first thing to do is to get a suitable job that can afford your expenses ,then always be religious in your dealings ,if you a Christian you need to start going to the church whenever you can or if you amuslim too pray tour 5 daily prayers and read the holy books then I tell you can go visit a counsellor that can help you in all ramifications
There is no better way to get a remorseful heart, than to start seeing and loving people the way you would treat yourself, be patient, optimistic and try to see the good in others even if you don't like them at that moment.
My brother I understand you, it's not that easy for you but no matter anything, you need to learn how to open up to people especially your family with that u will get all d support u need.
The best advice I can give you which has helued me in a lot of ways .. Is to have a quite time with God, read good books that are recommendable... And start mingling with friends not quite ones and not ones that are too exposive, and don't think that that's the end of the world.....
You need to learn to open up to people more. And find yourself a good friend that you know can influence your life in a positive way, if you have a good company around you something will sure change for the better
Well as a matter of fact you really need to get more closed to God, and hang out with positive impacts friends seek love and try to make yourself happy always.
Well it all depend on the kind of people you interact with and the kind of lifestyle you've plan the future to be and from the kind of family one came from it will help one to know what he is trying to let his future looks like you fall seven times you Wake up eight and keep fighting and working and hustling and toiling building and not giving up having the urge to work harder daily till it become a story for another day
My dear my little advice is that you need to help yourself by going closer to God Go to church program meet up with good friends not the once you cannot learn anything from them
You need to come out of your comfort zone and start relating with people. First of all,you have to be friendly and learn to open up, that way you would attract people closer, start going church frequently and involve yourself in activities in church also. Make a friend and start going out and honoring any invitation to.
Hang out with people around you, associate with your friends and don't keep everything to yourself. When you share your thoughts and pray fervently you make everything better than before
You need to create friendly environment for yourself,stop living in isolation,go to party, football view centre so you can getting relate to people.
above all visit a psychologist counselor
See dear u need to help yourself.. Feel relax nd home wit them, Talk wit them make yourself part of their family coz when u have friends u already have family. So my dear feel free wit them go around nd make yourself happy