How Can I Make Them Reconcile?

I've been dating my boyfriend for almost two years now and our relationship is so smooth that he's already thinking marriage. I've met all his siblings and we're all cool. One of the younger sisters came to spend her holiday with me the last time. I refused meeting hss Mum, and i also refused letting him meet my parents when they came visiting. Not because I don't love him enough or have something to hide, I'm not just ready for such introductions.frown

Although all my siblings are aware of us but they are yet to meet because of distance and location. He's been looking forward to my younger sisters visit and same as her. But she's kinda antisocial and has a hard time interacting with new faces. If you don't know or understand her, you could call her rude.... And that was exactly what happened.

He tried to be free and playful but she's rather reserved. They couldn't get along well and he told me in her presence that she's rude, he doesn't like her and might never want to see her again. When I tried to talk about it, he repeated same thing and I've been quiet about it since then. He stopped coming over to my place and prefer we see outside just to avoid her. I asked her and she said she likes him but doesn't just know how to be free and playful with him.

I'm unhappy and uncomfortable about it but in as much as I love him deep, she's my sister and they have to get along. It's stressful and I don't know what to do. Some times I blame myself for not mentioning her attitude before her arrival, like I'm the cause of it all. I'm so confused, pls any advice?

Comments Reply
  • The thing you will here is, call your sister and advise her to change her attitude towards people, it's not everyone that knows and can understand her, tell her in case of next time this should  be a lesson to her, if she continue like that . then you call your boyfriend and plead with him, tell him that is how she is and promise she will change.

    - Shuaibu Idris - 2019-10-06 09:09:45 Quote

  • You have to talk to your boyfriend and explain things to him since you truly love him . you don't have to allow your sisters behaviour towards him spoil your relationship. Also tell your sister to apologize to him and that's all.

    They will surely get along as time goes on 

    - Mordi Christian - 2019-10-06 09:10:45 Quote

  • I think the repair to the damage done is not in your hands but your sister. She portrayed herself as rude to your man, which is rather impolite. If any reconciliation can happen at all, your sister has to take the initiative. Since she has claimed to like his person, then she needs to apologize for her first impression and make amends

    - Adeola Opeyemi - 2019-10-06 09:16:14 Quote

  • It is understandable that he would feel that way about your sister because he doesn't really know her. Since he is not giving you a listening ear,try asking someone close to him to explain to him about your sister's character. It will be in your best interest not to overlook one for another because if they end up becoming unfriendly with one another there will be form of care between them.

    - Aliyu Oyinoiza Hasiat - 2019-10-06 09:18:05 Quote

  • You just have to seat the both of them let them tell you how they actually feel among thenselves. Cause to me i think there is actually what both of them do not want you to know. And for you, you have to be sensitive in terms of their body reactions to words 

    - Ukaha Edith - 2019-10-06 09:19:35 Quote

  • It shouldn't be too hard to reconcile them, sive your sister said she actually likes him and just finds it difficult to be free around him. They need to spend more time together under your supervision ofcourse. Tell both parties that it is really important to you for them to get along and am sure they will do it for you.

    - Aliyu Gana Aliyu - 2019-10-06 09:24:27 Quote

  • You should not be confusing for the person you are about to get married to. I want to as you have you ever take your time to study each other, i mean to know how you both characters look like. Before you go into marriage the are setting things each of you need to do like i have said before. Both of you need what the called marriage course, marriage course will help you and your husband to be known what is in marriage to avoid insincerity. Marriage is not easy tax, man hold onto your wife and wife hold onto your husband, for better for worse and till death do you apart. You should marry him, and you too will under go test to know your blood group and other test in one place, to avoid misunderstanding. We should be careful about marriage, marriage is not child place, and think about what I said. You are blessed

    - Anoke Richard O. - 2019-10-06 09:30:40 Quote

  • You just have give to them time you should try and explain how your sister is with time he will try and understand her, talk to your sister too she should be a little open especially when someone is already friendly with her she has to show the favour back in order not to look rude

    - Kelechi Mojekwu - 2019-10-06 09:37:29 Quote

  • I feel you should talk your younger sister about to go ahead and approach him. If she could build up courage to approach him and at least build a relationship then he could change his mind about her.

    - Oluwatobi Adebara - 2019-10-06 09:48:32 Quote

  • At first, u made a mistake of not telling your fiancé the kind of person your sister is which results to what is happening now,  had it been u did, may be things won't turn out this way. 

    I advice  you apologize to your faincé for what happened and also explain to him the kind of person your sister is, telling him that she is an introvert and doesn't get along  with people easily. 

    And also talk to your sister, explain things to her, she have to give him some time for them to get along with each other. 

    - Ibeh Jnr - 2019-10-06 09:55:42 Quote

  • From your explanation I think there's more to that probably, they have known each other before and trying to act So, you really need to have dialogue with them separately to know if they actually know each other before. Don't forget, your guy was longing to meet your sisters. So, he ought to device means of getting along and not get frustrated. So, have a dialogue with him. 

    - Favour Idemudia - 2019-10-06 11:21:28 Quote

  • Tell your boyfriend to be a man and forget women's behavior and try to convince your sister as well. I believe is easier to bring your sister close to boyfriend since she earlier told you he likes him.

    - Tsekar Leonard Aondoakula - 2019-10-06 11:21:51 Quote

  • You are not the cause my dear. The problem is understanding. Some people don't like associating with people be it their house members. I think you should allow them to be, with Time they will get along. 

    - Onwa Matthew - 2019-10-06 11:27:23 Quote

  • I would advise you not to go on with the relationship if he finds it difficult to play along with your sister. If the hatred is there now, it will continue like that. Talk to your boyfriend and if he insisted then find means of making your sister get used to him.

    - Rachael Omikunle - 2019-10-06 11:39:12 Quote

  • Anytime the guy call you to meet him in a place take your younger sister along and tell her to apologize to him and she should explain her attitude to him

    - David Adebayo - 2019-10-06 11:43:26 Quote

  • Even you are not ready to let him meet your parents but you want your sister to get along with him... You should know that some men will see this as a deal breaker for them because it will look like you are hiding something from him or you already have someone else who you have in mind but just want something from him... 

    Get him to meet your parents and be sure they like him before you think about your sister... It is not a big deal for them not to get along but your parents are more important...

    - Emmanuel Akinduro - 2019-10-06 11:43:35 Quote

  • Even you are not ready to let him meet your parents but you want your sister to get along with him... You should know that some men will see this as a deal breaker for them because it will look like you are hiding something from him or you already have someone else who you have in mind but just want something from him... 

    Get him to meet your parents and be sure they like him before you think about your sister... It is not a big deal for them not to get along but your parents are more important...

    - Emmanuel Akinduro - 2019-10-06 11:43:36 Quote

  • I think you just have to make her apologize to him, and make him understand the kind of person she is. She should also try to be free with people especially when they try to talk to her... You don't have to be reserved with all new faces, moreover he's her sister's boyfriend so why being reserved? 

    I understand you are not ready for marriage but that doesn't mean you shouldn't introduce yourself to your parents, introduction doesn't mean you are ready for marriage, it's just for them to know who you are dating. 

    - Sudays Tijani - 2019-10-06 11:46:21 Quote

  • It's not your fault. Just try and make him understand more, and try talking to your sister. She should relate well with him moreover he's your boyfriend and not stranger. 

    - Adelokun Temidayo - 2019-10-06 11:56:27 Quote

  • Best way y is to communicate to your boyfriend to keep and open mind and be forgiving of your sister's flaws. Then arrange a neutral meeting for a second try

    - Ella Della - 2019-10-06 12:06:33 Quote

  • I don't believe you're the cause of the problem, relationship is meant to be built on trust and understanding, your boyfriend ought to understand that people have varying behaviours and no one can behave exactly as you want. He needs to calm down and understand that your sister mean no harm and as well try to get close with her. On the part of your sister, she should try being more accommodating than she already is, she should try to take a step into mending the sour relationship between her and your boyfriend. 

    - Chijioke Onodi - 2019-10-06 12:09:48 Quote

  • He is his your guy you will know where to meet him from and all so the best thing ,go to a restaurant with him your sister talk to him and everything  that u want both of them to relate with each other if not u wont be happy ,i dont  think he will keep watching  that ulyou arent happy

    - Akibo Deborah - 2019-10-06 12:10:07 Quote

  • Just with time she would get along with him. Talk to your guy so he would give her time to get along with with him cause that's her character. I'll also suggest he apologize to her for saying such in her presence.

    - Philip Fadoyin - 2019-10-06 12:17:05 Quote

  • Don't blame yourself for that. Your guy needs wisdom and be more tolerant. Because he will definitely meet people with different characters. He should not expect your sister to change because of him. He is the one rude for not respecting people's lifestyles

    - Chimezie Anyiam - 2019-10-06 12:17:38 Quote

  • I wouldn't want to be on anyone's side; like your boyfriend is the problem or your sister is the problem. But since your sister likes him, try as much as possible to convince your Boyfriend about your sisters personality and clarifying that she's not been rude and at the same time help your sister by advising her because it could affect her own relationship too later.

    Then, gradually be a link between the two of them. Maybe take your sister along one of the days when going to see your boyfriend but you must be sure to know how to handle the scenerio well. Calculate your plans well.

    - Anuoluwapo Adediran - 2019-10-06 12:20:44 Quote

  • I advise you talk to your sister about meeting up with your boyfriend and advise her how to behave so he won't get the wrong impression again and try setting up a meeting between them in disguise

    - Oyinkuro Precious - 2019-10-06 12:26:54 Quote

  • It's not your fault girl, just talk to your hubby and calm him down. Explain to him how your sister don't get free with strangers at first. And talk to your sister also, she should at least be free with him. 

    - Adelokun Temidayo - 2019-10-06 12:27:40 Quote

  • I think your man is too rigid and lacks basic human psychology. He should know better than just to conclude on a first meeting with your sister that she's rude. Often times it is always not smooth relating to your proposed or future in-laws on first meeting, so the reaction of your man shows he lacks maturity to lead which I perceive should be a red flag for you.

    - Adjekofori Faith - 2019-10-06 12:37:33 Quote

  • I will advise you don't worry your self so much because with time they will come to like each other or just give there selves there space because in a family to family relationship that's being bonded by marriage is not guaranteed to be a 100% good relationship between them...come to think of it you both families are from different lifestyle and way of training, 2 families that have not know their selves when God created them both decided to meet and become one family due to marriage, you don't expect every one to like themselves the truth of the matter is that what matters is the 2 of you that brought them together. If there is peace between you both then there is peace in the whole family... Thank You

    - Okpala Obinna - 2019-10-06 12:39:44 Quote

  • He should try to get used to the fact that your sister is not too much of a social type and stop taking the issue too serious. Everybody must not posses attitude that suite only you, they are them and yiu are you. Just try to have both parties come around and engage them on their differences and it gets better from there. 

    - PETER MMADUEKE - 2019-10-06 12:49:29 Quote

  • Well I will put it to you that is your fault. You should let your boyfriend about her(that's she's an antisocial being). Your boyfriend will understand more better and he will not look into whatever she does. And for reconciliation, is very necessary before is too late. Make your sister feel free when he's around and try to be with them to help your sister fight away her fears. Believe me when u do that, they will be the best friends that you will wonder how can to fighters become best friends.

    - Emmanuel Ferdinand - 2019-10-06 12:50:22 Quote

  • Time will heal both of them . Time is what your guy needs for now. I have a brother like that. He is very hard to please. He does not laugh or smile with strangers. That's the way he is. When people come around me l force him to excuse me and my friends. He is cool to be with know that if he is close to you. So dear, tell your guy to relax. Tell him everything will be fine. 

    - Light Udoyo - 2019-10-06 12:54:45 Quote

  • This kind of matter deals with experience. It is very hard when a mother-in-law doesn't like the husband or wife. My dear you have to patient. Don't rush it. With time she will understand her. A house is not built in a day. So patience is the key to solve this problem. Don't give up on her if you truly love her.

    - Owolabi kikelomo - 2019-10-06 12:58:16 Quote

  • The more work is with your boyfriend. He should understand if he is ready for marriage he has to accept and embrace each of your family member. He should just be patient with your sister, and hopefully they will get along.

    - Billy John - 2019-10-06 13:01:45 Quote

  • Since she say she like your boyfriend, make her talk positive things about him and record the conversation and play it to him. To wash that negative mind he has about her

    - BITRUS SALAMA BARAYA - 2019-10-06 13:04:13 Quote

  • If he loves you he'll endure your sister but just as your sister said, she has a weird way of showing likeness for someone. Men are stubborn but try and make him understand

    - Gabriel Moses - 2019-10-06 13:05:08 Quote

  • Okay what you do miss is firstly to talk to your sis ,as she said she likes him really .You don't just have to tell her to be free with him ,you have to take her out at times and talk to her about mingling with people . Go on to tell her how she makes you spouse feel like she is rude which is directly opp what she is .

    And then your spouse talking to him and make him understand that she don't easily mingle with people so he can try and be patient with her and not give up on trying be friend with your sis.

    - Lucky Edeki - 2019-10-06 13:05:10 Quote

  • First thing first,you need to help your sister, she needs to start mingling with people let her see reason not just because of your guy, but just for herself. Then to your guy explain to him about because he also can help her, encourage ur sis to visit people more.

    - Itunuoluwa Dada - 2019-10-06 13:18:08 Quote

  • Your boyfriend is the one that has mich work to do , he just have to be calm and patience for your sister she will soon change for good, meeting outside is not the next step

    - Ogundiran Toheeb oluwadamilare - 2019-10-06 13:22:28 Quote

  • My advice! Please talk to your sister about her being rude because it may  turn out to hurt her  later. Remember she is a female who needs to be social wearing a cheerful face at all times. As for your friend, try to make him understand afterall, he is an adult

    - Nancy Ogbodo - 2019-10-06 13:37:01 Quote

  • My advice! Please talk to your sister about her being rude because it may  turn out to hurt her  later. Remember she is a female who needs to be social wearing a cheerful face at all times. As for your friend, try to make him understand afterall, he is an adult

    - Nancy Ogbodo - 2019-10-06 13:37:42 Quote

  • Some people need time to adjust to their surroundings,in case of your sister she is one and I think she's going to get along with him but you need make your boyfriend understand that her nature.

    - Oyewo Quareeb - 2019-10-06 13:44:00 Quote

  • I think he is just being childish here. He CNT expect your sister to change her personality for his sake. Let him learn to accept people the way they are. Not sure your family members might be free to visit when you people eventually get married.

    - Osharode Patience - 2019-10-06 13:48:05 Quote

  • That's not your fault. All you have to do is to keep convincing your boyfriend that that is your sister's nature. She is not being rude or anything. You can't force to change for anyone after all.I believe they would get along as time goes on. Just try let them be together most time s they won't have a choice than to get along.

    - Abolarin Deji - 2019-10-06 13:51:03 Quote

  • I feel it's kinda your fault, but no worries all you just have to do is call the both of them together and try talking to them... I'm sure your boyfriend would finally understand the kind of person your sister is. Thanks. 

    - Sodiya Olayinka - 2019-10-06 13:58:13 Quote

  • The only way they can get along is if your man apologise to her. It's not her fault she is like that and I understand her. And he also needs to make up for the last time cos she is kinda hurt. He must also learn to be tolerant so he can enjoy love from his wife's side

    - Subomi Oloyede - 2019-10-06 14:03:58 Quote

  • Different people with  a different characters you need to talk to your sister to be herself and go alone with your boyfriend... And you also need to talk to your boyfriend to know that's how your sister is but he should beer it for now she's going to change as time goes on

    - Luckru Bako - 2019-10-06 14:10:23 Quote

  • Tell your boyfriend what your sister said about liking him because i think that would go along way. Your boyfriend just needs to understand her and her attitude because you can't force them to get along but your boyfriend needs to be understanding

    - Idumwonyi iwinosa prosper - 2019-10-06 14:21:51 Quote

  • You should explain to  your boyfriend about how she feels about  him and about her attitude,  just make him understand  and let them meet again and he would  have known her attitude then 

    - ayomide Ayomide - 2019-10-06 14:24:04 Quote

  • Such is life, different people with different life style. Talk to your sister and also talk to your man about her life style. He should learn to tolerate her because she might end being his sister in-law. Also your sister shouldn't be rude to your guest. She is also a woman that will end up with a man one day.

    - Okwalogbo Amarachi Joy - 2019-10-06 14:27:25 Quote

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