I was in my third year,studying microbiology at the university of Ilorin ,Nigeria at that time.
I met Segun in my first year and he literally swept me off my feet because of how handsome he was,how he carried himself and how intelligent he was.
We became best of friends and not long after we started dating. We were what you would call the “Romeo and Juliet”of campus. Everyone thought we would get married,I thought so too because I had never loved anyone this much and I could not imagine life without him.
Most times segun would come and stay at my apartment because it was closer to school and I loved it because it meant we would spend more time together. At first I thought it was my imagination or I was just being careless about where I kept my things,I started to notice things were leaving my apartment.
I would keep my jewelry on the couch and wouldn’t come back to find them,I would leave money on the table and come to find it incomplete or completely gone. Sometimes my kitchen utensils would just go mysteriously missing and so many other things.
I remember thinking there was a ghost in the house because I couldn’t explain how all these things were happening.
One day I decided to tell Segun about what had been happening and ask him if he had any idea about my missing items.
I regretted that action because I had never seen segun get so mad at me before,infact I was confused because I didn’t mean to accuse him I just asked questions. Immediately I asked him about it,he began to throw a fit and started shouting at me.He was like he couldn’t believe I would call him a thief after almost 3 years of dating.
I was so heartbroken because this was our first major fight and I didn’t mean for him to get so mad about everything. I quickly apologized to him and told him I was sorry for thinking he could be the one.I remember vividly like it was yesterday,he didn’t speak to me for about a week because of this incident.
After a while things got back to normal and things stopped dissapearing.
Until one day,I told segun I was going to see my friend on the weekend,Saturday to be precise. I went to my friends place but she wasn’t around so I decided to come back home.
When I got home,I saw my door was slightly open.i wasn’t scared because I saw segun’s shoes outside.
I wanted to surprise him because I knew he didn’t expect me to be back.
lo and behold I saw segun with a nylon bag going through my jewelry box and I screamed and ran outside.
He pursued me,I had never seen segun look at me that way,luckily a neighbor was around so I ran to her and some other men came to hold segun down.
I asked segun to explain to me what he was doing and he began to cry.
He started confessing about how he would always take things he didn’t need from people and just keep them.
To be honest I was beyond shocked.i should have noticed all these things but I was blinded by love.
I told him that he could go for therapy and we could work this out but he blatantly refused and said he didn’t believe in such nonsense.
I had to end our relationship and it took me a while before I was ever myself again.
In a way I think you shouldn't have ended the relationship with him because in a way you might have added emotional trauma to the one he already has. That is the period he needs you most to always guide him and try to correct him. Anyways you can still help him while you are still his friend. You also don't have to wait for him before bringing a specialist to check him
To me, you should not have ended the relationship. But draw nearer to him and if God is willing you might be his angel, you guys have been together for that long and there was no problem, and now that there is a problem, you should stand up and solve it together.
I think you did the right thing cutting off the relationship. Self respect and self love is first and foremost important. We all agree that it's not his fault but if he doesn't want to seek help then he is not worth your time. You could still be his friend though and keep praying for him. But you still got to keep your distance.
Leaving the relationship was wise,so you could help him without any serious emotions attachment,it would hurt to have left him knowing the fact that you love him, but the hurt would be moderate, compare to been in the relationship with him he could hit you and you could be in danger if still in that relationship.
Concerning helping him,inform his parents or any close wise person because such issues are not mere situation students could handle without getting elders involved.moreover it could wear you out when you are the only person trying to help him.