How I Paid My Bride Price And What I Got In Return

My name is Gift I have been dating these guy for five years now, during period of that five years he had a nice job he gives me whatever I asked for and Gift's on weekly bases.

He also helped out in sending me to the higher institution  and now am done and have a very nice job.       

He  asked me to marry him, i was so happy and i said yes because I truly loved him, after two weeks he lost his job, he became so frustrated, he had no money to continue with the marriage preparation so I give him my money to marry me.

Without any one knowing, not even my parent, now we are married and all the responsible is  now on  me, and all he does is complain of his joblessness and by the day he gets more aggressive,a nd beats me at every little issue. I became pregnant but later lost it, because of his beating, I told his family people to talk to him but instead he just get worse, he now blames me for losing his job, and am thinking of leaving the marriage.

Please if you were in my shoe, what will you do?

Comments Reply
  • Your case is a serious one all I will advice is you stay away from that marriage for now because a man that turned his wife to punching bag can do worst although the man in question is suffering from frustration so please and please stay away from that your marriage for now maybe these will make him get back to his senses

    - Okunloye Kehinde - 2019-10-01 13:07:57 Quote

  • Giving him money to pay your pride price was never a mistake. Don't blame yourself, stuff like this happens. But him beating and maltreating you is wrong and unacceptable in any clime. Leave the marriage and move on with your life before its too late. 

    - Julius Titus - 2019-10-01 13:16:34 Quote

  • For the fact you gave him money for the marriage that is love, so you shouldn't blame yourself. If I where in your shoes I will leave the marriage, because on social media you will hear a man killed his whole family and such things starts from situations like this. In such circumstance, after trying to resolve things without any solution, I will take to my hills.

    - Okeimor Success - 2019-10-01 13:31:39 Quote

  • If you can leave the marriage, i guess you should, but before you make that decision, try and sit him down or find someone to settle things with you two maybe his mum or any of his relatives you know he respects most. But if he continues, you can leave for your own good. 

    - oladokun Hassan olamide - 2019-10-01 13:40:51 Quote

  • This one is hard o, cos from the beginning its obvious that he really did love you, well men are like that, i mean super aggressive when they are broke and nothing pleases them at that point, i think u should be a little more prayerful, and also try not to get pregnant for now, so if u cant control the situation with the help or prayers and councelling, u let him go.... File for divorce

    - Christiana Benjamin menku - 2019-10-01 15:25:26 Quote

  • You did nothing wrong by helping him to marry you instead it shows how much you love him despite his financial breakdown. You need to stay away from him for now. See it as one of the temptations facing marriages. Don't go back to your father's house instead find one of his female relatives and stay with her for a while. Most importantly, go down on your knees and talk to heaven about his condition. Things will get back to normal again.

    - Ugochi Lucy - 2019-10-01 16:28:39 Quote

  • love can make you do and undo at first paying your bride price is not a good idea, Though love can be like that but my advice to you is that take a break from that relationship if he really loves you he would come back to his senses there is power in love. 

    - Micheal Francis chigozie - 2019-10-01 16:39:54 Quote

  • This is a serious issue but divorce is totally out of it because marriage is for better for worst based on my religion doctrine. I think the cause of this is frustration because of the job he lost. I want you to check yourself too because in a situation like this you need to take things easy with him because he can get provoke at every little thing. It's you that can help him out through prayers. Consult a man of God for prayer of agreement. Pls don't leave the marriage and don't blame yourself for helping him. God will take control.

    - Abigail Banjo-Akintimehin - 2019-10-01 16:51:40 Quote

  • For starters you didn't do anything wrong in paying your own bride price. Your husband loved you but failed as a husband when he lost hope, focus and decided to trend on the wrong path by hitting you. If you ask me I will say leave him alone and also the apartment so he can figure out his problem and solution... A real man is not to hit a woman for any reason whatsoever 

    - Chimaobi Onyegbuna - 2019-10-01 18:31:24 Quote

  • This is very serious oooooo... My dear I advise you to be patient because in marriage it's for better and for worst. Meet your guidance and reason things with them

    - Umeh Ifeanyi Peter - 2019-10-01 18:32:08 Quote

  • Please don't give excuse for nasty behaviour,I pray nothing bad happenes in the violence process, please put a break to the marriage,pray for him,God will grant him a job but make sure he goes through a therapy before getting back into the marriage, life has no duplicate o

    - Ifeoluwasimi Adeniran - 2019-10-01 18:46:56 Quote

  • Keep supporting him, at this trying time, all he needs is your support, love, loyalty  encouragement and prayers. 

    I'm sure things will get better . 

    Sending love and prayers your way dear. 

    - Oguntoyinbo Damilola - 2019-10-01 18:49:55 Quote

  • You have made a mistake by giving him the money to pay your pride price no not all men respect their wife after helping with that, some men later use to insult her. But never the less, no is too big for God to handle. Just go on your knees and pray I believe God will definitely change him for good. Please don't give up on your marriage.

    - Cecilia David - 2019-10-01 18:52:44 Quote

  • What a tough moment you are going through but I believe all will be well. Just try to observe him so as to know when he's happy in order to sit him down and discuss like lovers that you both are.. Remind him of the good times you've had and also encourage him in his search for job.

    - Favour Idemudia - 2019-10-01 18:52:55 Quote

  • Kindly report to your parents if at all you are considering leaving the marriage. Kindly let your parent know what you're going through so they won't blame you when you eventually leave the marriage. The Lord will see you through. Amen

    - Odewale Bolu - 2019-10-01 18:54:34 Quote

  • You need divine intervention,  its the Devil's work,  God can turn your situation around for good.  Please see a marriage counsellor together, if he agrees,  then pray and trust God for a change. Divorce is not an option. 

    - Ruth Oyeleke - 2019-10-01 19:07:31 Quote

    1. You did nothing wrong by helping  him pay ur bride price. In fact what u did was good, but leaving him in this situation is not OK, bcos once he is financially stable and u are gone, what u have suffered for will now be in control of another woman, so pray as much as u can for him, let his family knows about what he is doing to u, get someone to sit him down and counsel him bcos big time is coming ahead.

    - Mohdfawaz Jimba - 2019-10-01 19:16:39 Quote

  • As fast as possible, find help ,look for a lawyer and then file for divorce, the marriage is already to toxic and it will just end in more harm to yourself 

    - Paul Chidozie - 2019-10-01 19:32:48 Quote

  • I will advice you to go for counseling, both you and your husband. At least that way if he is spoken to he will want to get more serious with his life. You won't gain anything by leaving him  just be calm and patient with him and also be prayerful 

    - Ibrahim Olatunde - 2019-10-01 19:47:07 Quote

  • Helping your husband through by paying your bride price isn't a mistake But he shouldn't beat your or maltreat you because he lose his job because you didn't take his job from he should even be grateful to have you I think it's high time you left the marriage 

    - Akinwole Blessing - 2019-10-01 19:50:02 Quote

  • I think giving him the money to pay the bride price is wrong, you already gave him a reason not to be responsible. Its a bad foundation for any marriage. That action is in a way saying don't worry I can take care of things when we marry. Because you never thought of who will run the house after the wedding. Though you did it from a good heart, but its a wrong start for any marriage that wants to last.

    - Oduniyi Adedayo - 2019-10-01 19:56:24 Quote

  • You should have tried to empower him when he lost his job so that he can have something to rely on to take care of the family life he his about to start rather than given him your money to make wedding preparation. Since you and his family has tried changing him and there has been no changes I advise you leave the marriage.

    - Olawole Taofeek - 2019-10-01 20:10:28 Quote

  • Gone are the days where marriages were lifelong contracts .If it's too hard to bear, leave and loose all legal means to punish him. Domestic violence on children wives and mothers are frown upon .Everyone is with you on whatever you decide 

    - Emmanuel-Mike Gbenekeme - 2019-10-01 20:22:40 Quote

  • He should bebe grateful the home responsibility has been on you and you've been taking care of it. Now he pays you back with beating even at the risk of loosing your pregnancy. Please leave the marriage before you loose your life

    - Oluwaseyi Ajeniyi - 2019-10-01 20:44:36 Quote

  • He should bebe grateful the home responsibility has been on you and you've been taking care of it. Now he pays you back with beating even at the risk of loosing your pregnancy. Please leave the marriage before you loose your life

    - Oluwaseyi Ajeniyi - 2019-10-01 20:44:37 Quote

  • He should bebe grateful the home responsibility has been on you and you've been taking care of it. Now he pays you back with beating even at the risk of loosing your pregnancy. Please leave the marriage before you loose your life

    - Oluwaseyi Ajeniyi - 2019-10-01 20:44:38 Quote

  • He should bebe grateful the home responsibility has been on you and you've been taking care of it. Now he pays you back with beating even at the risk of loosing your pregnancy. Please leave the marriage before you loose your life

    - Oluwaseyi Ajeniyi - 2019-10-01 20:44:39 Quote

  • Supporting him for the marriage is never a mistake, beating you is the problem. Although a frustrated man because of his condition, just avoid or stay away from him for the mean time. Don't give up on the marriage.

    - Ezekiel Aromasodu - 2019-10-01 20:45:44 Quote

  • Yes giving him money to marry you is not a mistake but him beating you is a very big mistake upon you, but since you ave complain to his parents and he insisted that means is not a physical battle but a spritual issue, all u have to do is to keep on praying for him, god is the only one who can solve the issue

    - innocent ucheego - 2019-10-01 20:46:00 Quote

  • I think you should go to the priest, pastor or the Rev. Father that wedd you guys and complain to him since you have complained to his people what out any changes. You should also report to your family members, your parents and relatives. They should warn him that if any thing happen to your life, they will come for him. I will also advice you to go women affair office and make a report since he won't stop beating you. 

    - Onwa Matthew - 2019-10-01 20:51:17 Quote

  • Dear this is a trying phase in your life ,be prayerful and encourage your husband because he is depressed and this is the period he needs your support, love and care most. Please don't leave him. The word of God is against divorce . Pray to God to change his story around for good and believe he will do it.

    - Chisom Ogbonna - 2019-10-01 20:53:25 Quote

  • Hummm..... Divorce seems to be the best thing to do. A husband who truly loves his wife won't blame his wife for his mistakes nor turn her into a punching bag.

    Divorce him and pray for a better husband, and please let you parents be aware the next time, for their blessings is important . 

    - Muhammed Abdulhazeem - 2019-10-01 21:03:28 Quote

  • Well, for now you both should separate from each other not really divorcing him now. He may later realise himself and turn a fresh leave. I'll not advise you stay in there and get beaten everyday even as a pregnant woman. It's dangerous. For now your life is more important than that marriage.

    - OGBEGIE YUSUF EMMANUEL - 2019-10-01 21:07:25 Quote

  • Of a truth you are passing through hard and difficult moments because it is not easy to leave with a frustrated person not to talk of husband,my advice for you is not to leave the marriage because in most marriages the percent of endurance and tolerance to love is 80:20....I would want you to do following:

    Access yourself,where have you been failing, what are your shortcomings,what are those things he do ask you to do that you are not doing?

    Secondly,please sit him down or create a time to ask him what he likes and doesn't like,promise him you will change,let him promise you not to beat or hit you again

    Thirdly,I deliberately put this as the last one I will call it MY PLACE...the question is where is God's place in your marriage?in a family where Jesus exist things like these don't happen.... please go back to God,let him have his place because he(God)will definitely ask you that where is my place?there is nothing impossible for God to do, please table it before God,go on fasting and prayers and I believe you will smile at last....Stay blessed

    - Emmanuel Adelanwa - 2019-10-01 21:11:49 Quote

  • First of all, let it be clear in your mind you did nothing wrong by sponsoring your wedding. It's for the love and it's wonderful. Secondly remember he has been very supportive up to the level of sponsoring you through higher education. No man will do such a thing except that he loves you wholeheartedly. I think he has been affected psychologically because of his job loss and difficulty of getting another. No doubt he needs help. Try to show him abundant love, and don't do things that will provoke him. Assist him get over his present predicament with wisdom. Please don't leave him with this situation, if you do he could go into depression and might even consider suicide on the long run. Try to manage him but also be careful with your own life.

    - Akeem Lawal - 2019-10-01 21:12:16 Quote

  • Your man may be under demonic influence.  Resort to prayers,  avoid anything that will cause quarrel between the two of you.  Your marriage is too young for separation . Your enemy may use this time . Be calm, God will help you.  Also pray that God will restore his job . It would help a lot.  Good luck 

    - Lilian Ijeoma - 2019-10-01 21:17:27 Quote

  • Your man may be under demonic influence.  Resort to prayers,  avoid anything that will cause quarrel between the two of you.  Your marriage is too young for separation . Your enemy may use this time . Be calm, God will help you.  Also pray that God will restore his job . It would help a lot.  Good luck 

    - Lilian Ijeoma - 2019-10-01 21:17:28 Quote

  • First of all I commend your courage by supporting your partner to be ensured your marriage was established in good faith and love. Obstacles and temptations are seriously part of life and needs to be handled both phiscally and spiritual. If the situation gets worse when you complain to his parents, then I would advice you to take it to God in prayer and he will never forsake you.

    - Christogonus Uneze - 2019-10-01 21:23:04 Quote

  • I think its normal though I mean you Said yourself before when he had a job he was mr perfect.he is probably man wants to be the tail(he is the head) just pray for him and things will be well

    - Yemi Yemi - 2019-10-01 21:26:49 Quote

  • Abusive marriage is dangerous, its better you comes out alive than die in silent all in the name of marriage. My sister borrow leg and run  for your your husband his so frustrated at the moment, he will realise his mistake once you live His house.goodluck

    - Ogochukwu Chidiogo - 2019-10-01 21:29:16 Quote

  • That was a very big mistake you shouldn't have done that. Some men are so greedy and wicked. You shouldn't have given him the money in the first place because any thing can happen.

    - Keshinro David - 2019-10-01 21:34:31 Quote

  • He lost his job after he engaged you and didn't have any money does that mean he has no savings, and can he get that broke immediately he lost his job  to the extent that he can't pay your bride price, what if he lied to you. My dear I think you should leave the marriage he might kill you someday. You made a very big mistake even if you wanted to help do something other than paying your bride price. 

    - Idi Grace - 2019-10-01 21:40:34 Quote

  • Your case is a serious case, your husband is suffering from frustration and he blames you for it.

    I will advise you give him a break to realize that you are not to be blamed.

    Let him feel sorry for himself and for you. Till then don't return to him.

    And also don't forget to pray to God to change him and pray God should give you the strength to make the right decision.

    May God help your case. Amen.

    - Victor Ekpenyong - 2019-10-01 21:42:23 Quote

  • My dear ,you can't afford to lose ur life ,the first mistake is did you ask God if he's the right man for you and secondly I feel you're desperate to get married ,you should have allowed him to make money to pay for the bride price instead of paying for yourself ,it's not proper ....

    Aside all this ,my sister run for your life ,a hungry man is an angry man ,okay !you love him , then try to be patient ,don't grumble ,don't complain ,things will be fine soon 

    - Simon Debbie - 2019-10-01 21:43:18 Quote

  • I think  u should  sit him and his family  down u guys should  discuss  about these  issue very well... U never  made a mistake  I'm marrying  him.... And u weren't  the cause of his joblessness  ....leaving the marriage  is not the best thing 

    - Kelvin ugbekile - 2019-10-01 21:48:19 Quote

  • I will advise you to stay with your husband you decide it so no going back the only think you need to do is to play to God to change him and give him a better job that's all not for you to leave your marriage

    - Miracle Boniface - 2019-10-01 21:55:17 Quote

  • The best thing is separate from him for a while till he comes to his senses and pray to God for directions. No wife gets medal for being beaten to death by her husband because of what people will say. Be wise my dear

    - Ayodele Beckley - 2019-10-01 21:56:25 Quote

  • Why should he be beating you even when you gave him your own money to marry you, well you need serious prayer in your family, its not something to run away from when you run, it means you are not matured to stay into marrital life, you must stay and conquer this problem, i think God will surely change if pray seriously.

    - Alex Gabriel - 2019-10-01 21:59:15 Quote

  • This is just a test of strength. When you married him, you married his problems as well. Can you recite your vow and remember those words? 

    He can't think straight cause of his current situation so that's where you come in. Don't just be a wife a wife in terms of good situations. 

    - PRINCEWILL KENECHUKWU EGWUDIKE - 2019-10-01 22:00:03 Quote

  • If I were in your shoes I would first find a way of settling and ironing things out with him but if they aren't walking the way I want them to I will the marriage to avoid more violence cos it turning into violence little by little 

    - Fhard Ayodola - 2019-10-01 22:01:59 Quote

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