I Don't Know If Helping My Jobless Boyfriend Is Becoming A Bad Idea

We starting dating not quite long ago but the relationship is as strong as anything and I appreciate our love despite the fact that he doesn't have anything for now.

But I feel he is turning me into his money making machine. Don't get angry but these are my reasons for thinking so:

*He asks for recharge cards and subscription fee and I gladly do that for him.

*Sometimes he asks for transport whenever he wants to travel for a job interview and i try my possible best to provide for him.

*Am not tired of assisting him but he is beginning to make it a habit. This is a guy that doesn't give me money for anytime at all. Since I met him I have never collected 1kobo. But whenever he acquires little money he doesn't even remember me again but whenever he is broke and needs my assistance he remembers me. Am just tired and confused on what to do.

Please do you think I should stop what am doing or keep studying him?

Comments Reply
  • I don't think you should stop assisting him as much as you can if you truly love him. There's this emotional breakdown that men faces when they are broke and jobless so I think you should be patient with him. Another thing is don't forget to always pray for him and encourage him. All the best.

    - Kenechukwu Ugochukwu - 2019-11-20 12:52:22 Quote

  • In my own opinion, you should leave him or try to act wisely in order to find out whether he really loves you or not. If you find out that he really loves you, you should continue being together, but if you find out that he loves only your money you break up. 

    - Ashiru Salisu - 2019-11-20 13:23:05 Quote

  • Leaving him is not an option 

    You can continuously help him 

    It might be that he has bigger plans for both of you ,just that his present situation is the obstacle  

    Maybe if he finally gets a good job 

    He'll be that kind of boyfriend you have been wishing for 

    So pls be patient with him 

    We don't know what the future holds 

    - Jennifer Blessing - 2019-11-20 14:10:40 Quote

  • In my own opinion don't stop assisting him.Just give him some little time because he is jobless.If after some time it goes on like this I think you should confront him.Tell him your mind that you are not pleased with the situation.He will realize it is true and try to help matters

    - Agbeyi Jacob - 2019-11-20 14:28:45 Quote

  • I feel your pain dear. Don't stop assisting him and always bear in mind that you are doing those things for him for the sake of love. And one more thing, talk to him about him not remembring you when he has money don't fight him, only try to make him understand how it makes you feel. He might see no big deal in his actions or think they go well on you, reason why communication is the key to a successful relationship. Make him understand now so he doesn't get used to that habit till you both get married when there will be more responsibilitie lying on him. 

    - Aisha AbdulRazaq - 2019-11-20 16:47:13 Quote

  • My own advice is that,if you truly love him and don't want to leave him you should act as if you have see another guy you love.then try not to show love nor care for him anymore and also keep praying to God to change him am sure he will change for good and realise his mistakes

    - Adesoji Adebimpe - 2019-11-20 19:40:20 Quote

  • I have been in such situation before, it may be heartbreaking but the truth of the matter is..if you truly love him, you would be able to tell him how u feel about him and try to make him sit up for the both of you. And if he loves you also, he would make sure he gets back on his feet for the both of you to be comfortable...and he wouldn't want to leave such a person.

    - Judith chika CHUKWUMA - 2019-11-21 09:27:31 Quote

  • I think you should reduce your giving for a period of time then go ahead to tell him how you truly feel about the situation at some point he will realize and change but if he doesn't change but becomes more aggressive, the best advice I can give at that point is to breakup the relationship because if you don't he will start beating you when you are married to him

    - Oluwajoba Favour - 2019-11-21 10:10:05 Quote

  • First of all helping him is a very good thing because he obviously needs your help, and if you truly love him as you claim you should understand that you are doing it for the love you have for him, sometimes also let him understand the way you feel about his frequent request. If you don't have you let him understand and if he truly loves you he won't get angry.

    - Oyinkansola Olanrewaju - 2019-11-22 10:38:34 Quote

  • I don't think you should stop assisting him, but you should talk to him about it. And also look for job vacancies for him. If he refuses to work or comes up with some excuses you should tell him you can't continue, at this point you can leave. God knows you've tried.

    - Joseph Ojediran - 2019-11-22 12:55:30 Quote

  • Keep the good work ma in due time your reward shall locate you. You might feel tired with the whole thing but just keep assisting him,  most importantly tell it to God let things work in your favor, you just be optimistic about everything, and also you can communicate with him to let him know your displease about the whole stress. If not for the sake of love but still be mindful of everything so you won't get hurt at the end of everything. Try to know if he gat you the way you do, just to be on the safer side, lastly don't relent on the good work!. 

    - Oluwajuwon Ebiwei - 2019-11-22 21:47:24 Quote

  • According to me, i think you should sit him down and talk to him and let him understand, trust me you aint a money making machine no matter what one day you are going to fed up. Let him come to his sense. Talk to him first before taking any action.

    - Ahmed Kaosarat - 2019-11-23 10:23:13 Quote

  • I think you are right, anyone that will spend on you will start from the little he get at times, you need to think twice so that you won't regret later. No matter how broke a guy is, he will still do little things for you to make you feel special because he loves you.

    - Emmanuel Adeleke - 2019-11-23 18:35:00 Quote

  • I think communication is key, talk to him, and let his reaction from that talk decide what to do next. Life is too short to hold on to things that don't benefit our journey in this life. First, talk to him about it, if you don't fancy his response, then you should do what you think is best. 

    - ayodeji ogundeyi - 2019-11-24 21:18:54 Quote

  • You love him doesn't mean you're stupid, sometimes people tend to take advantage of the fact that you love them, if indeed he doesn't remember you when he has then you should reduce the way you give him so he show he's real intentions. Humans don't know how to keep up with pretense when they don't see the reward anymore 

    - Obot Diana - 2019-11-28 15:45:35 Quote

  • An important and consistent action for a relationship to last long is "conversation". Have you tried talking with him about his bad habit and he still kept on with it?? You know, sometimes we're the reason for our problems. If you had told him that you're not happy with the way he acts and extorts money from you, he would have stopped it and try earning his very own money himself if he truly cares about you. But if you have talked to him about it and he got angry with you and still continued extorting money from you with no sign of reduction at the rate with which he asks you for money then he's certainly dating you because of what he gets from you and not because he loves you. The earlier you leave him or better still, change him by helping him get a more relaxing job with good pay, the better for you, him, and your relationship(if you truly truly love him) dear. 

    - Favour Ngozi - 2019-12-01 00:34:52 Quote

  • Well... I think that you should reduce the rate at which you give him money so that he can stop the habit. Kudos to you supplying him with money but I think you should reduce the rate. Its not good for him to rely on you all the time for financial sustainability. 

    - Toluwaniyi Boluwajoko - 2019-12-09 21:04:23 Quote

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