I Find It Difficult Being Committed In A Relationship.

I've been dating this guy for close to four years now. Next year will make four years am with him. He broke my virginity and after then the love I had for him got so high that I could do anything for him. Not until the day I had a girls day out with my girlfriend's and they were shading me. Saying stuffs like my boyfriend isn't so fine and he doesn't have enough money and I've never considered these things before since we started dating. They also made statements like being committed to just one guy is boring.

I fell for their cajole, and I decided to give it a try. I tried dating another guy without the awareness of my boyfriend and I found it fun. I had s*x with the guy and I found out he practically does better than my boyfriend. And since then I've been a random d*ck seeker and money seeker. I know what am doing is bad but I just can't find a way to stop.

Please I need advice, am punishing myself and also punishing the guy who loves me more. What do you think my problem is?

Comments Reply
  • I still believe that if you're really in love with somebody, you wouldn't be able to cheat on the person. I guess you just love the idea of y'all being today for so long and you've gotten used to him. I don't think the love is there anymore. And just follow your mind, if you don't want to ruin your long relationship then just stick to your man sooner or later he ll have money and take care of you.

    - Afolayan Grace - 2019-10-07 11:18:09 Quote

  • still believe that if you're really in love with somebody, you wouldn't be able to cheat on the person. I guess you just love the idea of y'all being today for so long and you've gotten used to him. I don't think the love is there anymore. And just follow your mind, if you don't want to ruin your long relationship then just stick to your man sooner or later he ll have money and take care o

    - Siyanbola Phebian - 2019-10-07 15:30:11 Quote

  • It'd definitely be hard to stop but there's an urgent need to discipline yourself or it would affect your relationship/marriage life. No husband wants a cheating wife. It's essential you curtail this before it goes wild. Seek therapeutical help and counselling. You'd scale through.

    - Kolaru Gideon - 2019-10-07 23:33:26 Quote

  • Your problem are your friends,  i will advice you to stay away from them,  if at all you want this too end. I advice you to discipline yourself,  try and live without your other boyfriends. And in your own interest it is better you tell your boyfriend,  because he wont take it easy if he hears elsewhere.

    - Oluwapelumi Adebayo - 2019-10-08 13:33:07 Quote

  • This is why it isn't good to follow bad friends and bad advices. You can still make a better person, just be determined to leave all those wayward life you've started leaving, confess your sins to your boyfriend and God. Ask for forgiveness from God and the power to overcome sins and the Lord will see you through. 

    - Oluwapelumi Babatunde - 2019-10-08 15:01:34 Quote

  • Since you have the conscience that what you are going is wrong, all you need now is determination, you need to be determined not to have any affair with another other person than the guy that truly loves you and for you achieve this goal again, you need to get rid of those your so called friends before you loose everything. 

    - Biliamin Zainab - 2019-10-08 16:07:29 Quote

  • If you Really love your man like you claimed, no matter what your friends might say, you wouldn't try dating another guy not to talk of making out with him. Now that you've done it, you just have to stop at that point and never go back to it. Confess to your man if you know he's gonna understand and forgive you, if you think otherwise keep it to yourself and never tell no one else.

    - Haolat Akeem - 2019-10-08 16:41:17 Quote

  • You probably were never in love. Because to the best of my knowledge, if you’re in love, there’s no way you’re going to feel comfortable cheating on that person you claim you love. You did bad. To be very honest. Normal thoughts would tell you to tell your friends and seek advice but apparently, your friends are the ones that led you to the wrong path. Such a disaster. I feel you should retrace your steps and discover what you truly want to do. Stay in love truly and dedicatedly or stay out of it completely.

    - Sule Rahanat - 2019-10-08 18:13:48 Quote

  • Anty,your problem is peer group influence..Your friends are the cause of your problem..You had just change the circle that you are in before things get out of hand

    And what is Done is done already..please you just have to stop it.it is very bad

    - Abdulsalam Hassan - 2019-10-08 18:49:38 Quote

  • Personally I think you shouldn't listen to people when it comes to your relationship most especially girl friends, in a case whereby your boyfriend adores you, I see no reason why you should even consider cheating, the fact that you cheated shows you don't really love him like you may think, find time and think deeply about the relationship and then decide if you still want him in your life or not and also please don't hurt the heart that loves you please, Think about things carefully before you do them. 

    - Olayinka Moyosore - 2019-10-08 18:53:47 Quote

  • I believe it's prayers you need....if u r sure u still truly and honestly love ur boyfriend as much as he loves and commits to u then it's not too late to make amends....withdraw from seeking advice nor listening to friends who have no value to add to your life and your relationship...they won't be the ones to live with you in future neither will they marry u

    - Happiness Stellamaris - 2019-10-08 19:05:49 Quote

  • This is damaging and thank God y realise you hurting yourself and the one that loves you, firstly change your circle of friends that gave you such directions in the first place then discipline yourself to avoid doing such let the live you feel for your boyfriend and respect  for your body be your drive to stop this act, then most importantly pray to God to help you change completely and free you from the habit

    - COURAGE AGBONS - 2019-10-08 19:20:53 Quote

  • I totally understand what you're going through. This is just a scenario of a 'good girl gone bad' which to me is just the same thing most young adults go through these days. But I'll fault you a little because you were indecisive and affect by peer pressure. 

    Don't take it hard oneself, all what you need is to tell yourself the truth if you still love him and if yes, you owe him an apology.

    - Ikenna Henry Onyemekesi - 2019-10-08 20:53:52 Quote

  • The problem is your friends 

    Evil company corrupts good habits 

    Talk to your friends bout what they said nd how it affected you

    And change.... Change is constant, find a balance, find love. 

    - Chisom Okafor - 2019-10-08 21:31:03 Quote

  • Self determination matters alot , but I don't see it as your friends make you did it , you are your self , your friends can't make decision for you , the only thing is for you to stay away from bad friends 

    - Linkage Pivo - 2019-10-09 18:19:29 Quote

  • Your problem is that you are not really strong to reject some advice. You don't have standards for yourself and you can be easily changed .You need to change those friends of yours because they will really affect you in so many ways and try to change too

    - Oxygen Sammy - 2019-10-09 21:20:14 Quote

  • The only solution to this is to made up your mind and be dedicated to almighty God and also ask him for his forgiveness of your sin and also pray that he should bestow his Mercy upon you.

    - Ishola Usman - 2019-10-09 21:28:53 Quote

  • Being committed in a relationship is a saying of a mind if you make up for your mind to be committed you will and girls are victims of peer pressure these days cuz your friends aren't good friends you should leave them alone or better still don't let the artwork so they are Petty talks get into your head because that's what girls are all about and you need to change your attitude towards relationship s*x is not all that is present in a relationship

    - Joseph Lawrence - 2019-10-09 22:06:28 Quote

  • You have sinned yes of course you have now all you need to do is pray for God to forgive you and he will after that make up your mind in a decision that you'll never go back to where you came from and stay away from bad friends too. 

    - Immanuel Miracle - 2019-10-09 22:12:31 Quote

  • I really think you really need to stop playing games with guy that loves you like you claim ...if you truly love your boyfriend genuinely you wouldn’t care about the physical appearance after 4 years you will keeping loving him the more..if you don’t stop the games you might end up losing out totally. 

    - Ibrahim Azeez Adekola - 2019-10-09 22:19:52 Quote

  • Well the decisions is yours to make.if u really love him as you claim to,try to caution your self about the things that draws you close to the other guys and also stop hanging around those friends of yours because they are not really helping you out.if the time you spent on cheating can be committed to your relationship u will see everything will work out fine

    - Omoniyi Righteousness - 2019-10-10 10:08:16 Quote

  • Your feelings was fading before you started cheating.your girlfriends just made it easier by instigating you and u fancied the idea

    If you really love the guy and u want to stop cheating ,let your friendship with those girls be limited, avoid those new partners of yours, spend quality time with your boyfriend no matter how little 

    You'll find yourself loving him wholeheartedly

    - Amadi Chizaram - 2019-10-10 19:32:18 Quote

  • I really feel commitment is personal decision. Of course you will see guys out there or lady out there that is much more finer than your person and even richer. Staying with your partner should be something you decide to do because of the love you have for the person. 

    - Damilola Eunice - 2019-10-11 18:06:10 Quote

  • Dear....try busying yourself

    Keeping busy is one of d secret of happiness..... Try engaging yourself to the extent that u won't have tym to think or hang out with friends day wud always push u to d act

    And always pray for GOD to lead u in d right path....

    - Akinyemi Mercy - 2019-10-11 18:10:21 Quote

  • My girlfriend said having female friends is bad for her, I find it weird but this confirms it. Friends causes 70 percent of the problems in relationships and marriages. My simple advice for you, try to stop whatever you know you are doing wrong, stop punishing yourself. Confess to your boyfriend and let him realize that you are ready to change. If you don't tell him now, your past might come back to hunt you. If he accept you back, fine! If not, move on and learn from your mistakes.

    - Emmanuel Adeleke - 2019-10-11 18:41:23 Quote

  • When having friends is not a bad thing. But the type of friends we keep matters alot. My advice to you is to meet ur boyfriend and tell him the truth about your self and if he still love you he will accept you. 

    - Farid Naik - 2019-10-11 22:46:12 Quote

  • You make the situation worst by listen to your friends, I mean there is no true friend out there they are there just like a sign post.

    Confess to your boyfriend all what you have done so you people rubbing minds together can help but its not easy in fact your boyfriend might put an end to the relationship 

    - Akano Christianah - 2019-10-11 23:27:10 Quote

  • I think you should just talk it out with your boyfriend.You guys could come to a mutual understanding that the spark is no longer there and break things off instead of punishing yourselves. 

    - Loveth Anthony - 2019-10-11 23:27:10 Quote

  • You just said it yourself that you know that what you are doing is bad but why allow your friends to affect you negatively. If care is not taken, this attitude will be your character and by then it will be difficult for you to stop even if you want to stop. In this era of so many sickness, why would one endanger his or her life. Please stick to one person and know the source of your problem when you have one.

    - Ikemefuna Chukwuenyem - 2019-10-12 18:41:39 Quote

  • Well, on this issue I think your problem is bad communication and lack of self decision making. Your friends can't just come to tell you something and then you'll agree. My dear you have your own life to live so build it on your decision making 

    - Okpegoboroh Oghenefega - 2019-10-12 19:21:42 Quote

  • To an extent, you should be able to know your stand and what you want. You should not have another person to decide for you. It's advisable to be committed to one person because it's less stressful and you will get to see that  you will be less confused and happier that way. 

    - Oladipo Temilola - 2019-10-12 19:27:51 Quote

  • As a grown up, you're supposed to know between good and evil, bad and good friends. If I were you, I would drop that life and move on with my boyfriend. And, Yes.. I'm telling you to leave your circle... They would do you more harm than good.

    - Christian Okuru - 2019-10-12 19:52:16 Quote

  • The problem you have is not believing in your own decision,you allow people control your decision making which isnt a wise thing to do,i will only advice you to be contented with what you have,the fact that such lifestyle works for some of your friends doesn't mean its good for you too. May God forgive you,just confess to your lover and free your mind,am sure he will forgive and accept you . it takes true love though.

    - Adeshina Adewale - 2019-10-12 19:57:31 Quote

  • I think you should decide within yourself what you really want. If it's the sex and money then your boyfriend can get them. There are sexual enhancements out there and try to encourage your boyfriend to work harder for the money.

    - Ayemobuwa Omotayo - 2019-10-12 20:09:44 Quote

  • The first step of which you've done is admitting that it's wrong... Secondly the class of friends you have needs to change because they where the first people who initiated you into this.  It's Also a thing of the mind... You need to confront your fears.  And make decisions for yourself. 

    - Abodunrin Ibukun - 2019-10-12 20:52:20 Quote

  • Well my advice for u is that u should just confess to your boyfriend about what happened because it will be really bad if he has to hear it from an outsider instead of you .And also ask God to forgive you and should also have mercy on you.

    - Idonije Favour - 2019-10-12 22:09:20 Quote

  • This is ridiculous, some women can be stupid sometimes as a result of peer group influences.well for me I don't think it will work out because you heart had already been poisoned and  even if you go back to you guy you will never be satisfied since you have started testing other guy money and s*x(dik)

    - Ernest Emeka Ohagwam - 2019-10-12 23:00:43 Quote

  • You just have to do away with bad company of yours first or you limit the time you spend with them give in time with your boyfriend, you'll always find a way love him back. Remember if you've never loved him you wouldn't have given him your virginity 

    - Miller Kingsley - 2019-10-12 23:08:55 Quote

  • You don't really fall for your friends cajole, thay has been within you,  yes there is no way some friends will think of and you will fall for their tricks,  but it has happened my own candid advice is that if you really wanna stop zero your mind on the other guy and focus on the guy who loves you teach him the style you learned  from the other guy you can made him up to your taste

    - Olaifa Kikelomo - 2019-10-13 00:10:23 Quote

  • dont allow your friends decide the turn of your life and make you lose both ways and regret your actions.In as much as yourso called boyfriend isnt stingy with the little he has,loving and caring,arrogant,has prospects then i wonder what you are looking for o

    - Olufunke Samuel - 2019-10-13 12:47:17 Quote

  • Must you listen to your girlfriends. They might see something in your bf that you don't see. So next time they say those nasty things to you.. Just ignore them and be happy that you've a long lasting relationship than your girlfriends.  It's a thing of pride. 5 years and still counting..  God is good 

    - Solomon OAMEN - 2019-10-13 16:31:33 Quote

  • The best solution is going to God in prayer. To grant you the self control ability. Cause the fact that you know its wrong but still can't stop then it requires external support of which getting a reserved respected mentor could help a lot.

    - Victor Adeleye - 2019-10-13 16:36:52 Quote

  • The best and only way to make an end to it is by consulting the boy that broke ur virginity, that is if u trust him that will help won't quit on you telling him. And again I by avoiding those of naughty friends who believes it is boring dating one guy or else before u know it you must have become a well known prostitute

    - Ejiofor Justice - 2019-10-13 16:43:20 Quote

  • Your mistake was to allow your friends deceive you and initiate you into runs. You still have that good in you and you can run out of this problem, before you destroy your life. My dear since you have a man that love you go back to him and make sure you resist all men that come to deceive you with money.

    - Idi Grace - 2019-10-13 18:21:20 Quote

  • Your first problem is the kind of friends you keep.You were in a healthy relationship for four years. It isn't boring it is great. You need to talk with your man concerning the areas you like and there are sweet things with great concequences and moving from one man to another is one. 

    - Atumen Ovuokeronye - 2019-10-13 18:29:16 Quote

  • U shouldn't have listened to ur friends bad advice's, wheather ur guy has money or not u should stick with him if u genuinely love him, and u should try as much as possible to stop sleeping around with men its not a gud attitude and u might even find it difficult to stop it when u get married. 

    - Grace Agbo - 2019-10-13 18:39:49 Quote

  • The thing is, knowing what you want, listing to friends bad advice will lead someone astray in a relationship, take your guy for who he is, been rich is not a barrier in relationship stick to him with the believe that the future is bright.

    - Sani Umar Faruk - 2019-10-13 19:05:44 Quote

  • It’s clear you don’t love and respect your boyfriend anymore. That’s why you were able to cheat on him numerous times. If truly you are remorseful about your actions; you should either stop seeing the other guy or tell your boyfriend the truth 

    - Adamu maina Hauwa - 2019-10-13 19:31:34 Quote

  • It is bad to keep bad friend and to listen to foolish advice. Cut off those friends and be yourself. Stop testing different men, go back to your boyfriend  and settle down. 

    - Nwokoukwu Jerome - 2019-10-13 19:55:26 Quote

  • You need a counsellor and a guardian that will give you a good advice and directs your ways. Moreso you need to know the callibres of friends you are mingling with, if not you will still go more wild than what you are presently doing.Thanks

    - Gbamila John - 2019-10-13 19:58:18 Quote

Others are reading