I Want To Sue The Father Of My Child

My name is Toyin , A guy called Femi around the area I stay in isolo told me he was interested in me but then I told him I was going to think about it .

After some weeks due to due to the fact he kept on disturbing me so I decided to give him a try and then our relationship kept on growing by day . We always see each other other almost every day cause we stay close to each other .

Femi works in a bank then and during a point he was sacked due to some things going on then and to the glory of God he got a better a better job as an auditor . This things made me happy and then thins kept on going fine for us .

2 years gone , I found out I was pregnant and then I told him about it he was happy then but after some month he started giving me attitude .He had to move away from Lagos then and all because of me and then lied to me he was transferred from work to Ibadan .I didn’t know about all this not until a day I went to visit is mom to explain things to her and that was then she told me Femi was married 4 years ago and his wife is in Uk for her masters ,I was really shocked and pained cause he lied and cheated me . 

Some weeks after his mom called me for a family meeting and that was there Femi told me I had to remove the child but I refused and gave birth to the child two weeks after his wife cane back from uk .My child was his first child but after a year his gave birth also and ever since then I have been the a single mom . 

My daughter is 12years now but I am getting tired and things have not been easy for me .i talked to a friend about this and she advised me to sue him 



Comments Reply
  • You have to take care of the child just like you've been doing. Although its better to be getting child support from him so that the burden won't be too much for you to bear. If he doesn't give you then you can take legal procedures to ensure he pays child support. 

    - Mofolu Ayo - 2019-10-05 19:06:51 Quote

  • Dragging to court wouldn't be the best option here.There's only one truth you need to accept which is' moving on".It's quite difficult but its a good way going forward.we are all bound to fall and make mistakes at one point but we need not to let our weakness pull us down.If you are finding quite difficult to fend for your baby,you just have to report him to his closest friend or family member to call him to order.Common he has to pay for share his daughter's bills with you.keep it simply and maintain your cool.

    - Destiny Nwaigwe - 2019-10-05 19:10:59 Quote

  • If you know you are not financially okay to take care of the child,then you can go on,but if you know you train the child both financially, mentally and others,I would say you should not. But am sure he will still come back to the child soon or later.

    - Gbenga Igbasan - 2019-10-05 19:20:12 Quote

  • Hmmm, in the first place sorry about your story, but i think you have fault also for not have make proper research about him before the relationship went that far. well I don't advice you to sue him because you guys does not have legal Union just try to make peace with him maybe through his mother so that you can get your child's right for her. And then accept your fate. 

    - YUSUF ADAVIZA JAMES - 2019-10-05 19:23:47 Quote

  • You dont need to sue the father of your child reason cause you failed to do your own part. You never actually bordered knowing the root of the man before becoming pregnant for him.  Not until the food was overdone that you decided to know the content of the food. Secondly, do you want your child to feel that his father is a convict? Please allow that child to feel the love of his father. Go and amend your life.

    - Ukaha Edith - 2019-10-05 19:29:41 Quote

  • You want to sue him on what ground?

    Going to court is not easy though and It has its effect on family and thinking about yourself it might reopen old wound.

    you can meet the boy’s mom and talk with her about it

    - Koko Tito - 2019-10-05 20:04:16 Quote

  • It will be absolutely wrong for you to sue a man that didn't marry you as stated in your story because you can not win the case. It will be a waste of time, so I will advise that you see the Family of the guy and your family to discuss how this child that knows nothing will be taken care of.

    - Flo Baby - 2019-10-05 20:09:50 Quote

  • Had it been an European country sueing works fine but in Nigeria you need to take the bulk by the horn cause the law system won't help much.. if na to go his family disturb them but if nothing change move on, double hustle ND leave the rest for God. Train your daughter to become great, it won't be easy but nothing last long except if you choose to be stagnant

    - Abidemi john - 2019-10-05 20:10:20 Quote

  • What do you expect the court to do in this matter? You are not the first woman to be cheated. You failed to research well and that was why you fell victim to his deceit. The only thing you can do is to go and beg him to be sending money for your child up keeps. The only time you can sue him is if you both were engaged but right now, you aren't. If to say you both were engaged, then the court could say that the both of you should divorce and after divorce, the wealth of the man would be shared between both of you. But right now, it isn't possible to me ooo. You can still give it a try,maybe the court can do something about it.

    - Emmanuel Agbasielo - 2019-10-05 20:12:54 Quote

  • Your friend advised you to sue him, based on what grounds, what evidences and what convictions. The only icing on the cake in this matter is the fact that, your relationship with him in those past years produced an hier and you are expected to seek counsel from human rights group, let them take up a matter on behalf of you and your daughter for her upkeep and allowances to train her through school, and also make a positioning  statement, whether or not he claims the child later. If not well handled, he may still have an upper hand over you in this case. Just seek counsel first. 

    - PETER MMADUEKE - 2019-10-05 20:15:17 Quote

  • In Nigeria, we have a poor law. I will advise you don't sue him.l, because that won't change anything. A similar thing happened to my sister, they went to the court an it lead to visually nothing. The best to do is to request that you want to see the girl's father and talk about everything without being emotional. That was how my sister's problem was resolved. 

    - Okeimor Success - 2019-10-05 20:21:45 Quote

  • At this time you need to relax because you've already taken wrong steps, that a man is disturbing you for relationship don't means he is serious. What you should do is focus on your life and child,God will provide a caring husband for you.

    - James Hope - 2019-10-05 20:26:33 Quote

  • I actually don't understand why guys can't be truthful for sometime. What difference will it make if you sue him, he is still going to be the father of your child, you just have to work hard so that your daughter can have a better life and future to the extent that she will not feel the absence of her father. God is a rewarder of good things and bad things, it just depends on what we human do that we get in future. You just have to watch out and you will see he is going to come to you and apologise. But at first you need to give your child a better life 

    - Subomi Oloyede - 2019-10-05 20:37:47 Quote

  • Sueing this man will cost you more pain, hatred and cost.  Forgive him and focus on the well-being of your daughter.  Put her to learn a skill before going for the University so she could assist you with her skills while in school.  God will see you through. Just believe and be strong for her 

    - Atanda Temitope - 2019-10-05 20:40:03 Quote

  • I wont blame you, cos u decided to give it a try don't sue him just leave everything to God and you should focus on building your child cos that's the best thing that will ever happen to you, pls don't think over it just be prayerful and be smart about everything

    - Samuel Olarewaju - 2019-10-05 20:57:16 Quote

  • Dear lady, I feel your pain at the moment but I don't think suing him is of any good. The best thing you can do for yourself Is to forget about him and move on with your life,  find something to do and sustain yourself and your child. Don't be lazy, there is dignity in labour. But do not stop your child from spending time with her father and don't deny him access to his child. 

    - unyime Udosen - 2019-10-05 21:21:57 Quote

  • My dear no need for you to sue him his still the father of your child I think you should talk to him make him understand that the baby is still his daughter talk to family members and also pray to God for him to change his mind towards the daughter

    - Miracle Boniface - 2019-10-05 21:38:20 Quote

  • Please i want to ask you some questions.(1). Did he at any time propose to you for marriage?(2). Are you married to another man now?(3). Are you working? (4). Did your parents or his parents know about your relationship? What ever be the answers to these questions, i will advise you not to sue him because all the faults are yours. How can you be pregnant for a man that has not done any introduction between your parents and his? Moreover, your child is 12, that means she is growing up, she will not be happy with you taking her father to court. If his mother is still alive, go to her and explain the situation to her, am sure she will make amends. Continue to bear it and the Lord will provide for you.

    - Jinatu Akinsola - 2019-10-05 21:40:54 Quote

  • This is not a good one at all, for me I support you, because he don't mean well for you or your daughter, who do he expect to take the responsibilities of the child? Or he wants you to struggle alone , train the child, and when the child succeed, he will come one day with his family and friends to say I'm sorry, then you will forgive him just like that?. It won't work! Sue him, let him accept to take proper care of the child, train the child, until she becomes what God has ordain her to be. Next time he will always remember that he has a wife in UK.  And stop deceiving other girls. 

    - Anyang Blessing Edim - 2019-10-05 21:47:50 Quote

  • What you need to do is to have faith and pray to God to guide you and give you the power to take care of your child. I won't advuce you to sue him,because if you sue him,you may not win and you will loose all the money you used. 

    - Bashir Toheeb Ibidapo - 2019-10-05 21:50:17 Quote

  • Sorry for that,. We'll, I don't know much about that but if you sue him and the court sees proof that the child is he's, he would be ask to start paying for her upkeep. 

    - Adelokun Temidayo - 2019-10-05 21:51:43 Quote

  • You should really sue him and hope for a good judgment that will be favorable for you and your child. The rigours of raising a child can only be imagined, if you want to secure a better future for your child you have to take action before it's too late and your child becomes wayward

    - Olayinka Ayobami - 2019-10-05 21:52:38 Quote

  • This is pathetic and I can feel what you're feeling, some men can be deceitful atimes. In a situation like this, to sue is not the next option. What I'll advice you is to meet with his parent together with your child and discuss how to take care of the child because they can't deny the fact that you had a baby for him. If nothing happens after then you can follow your instinct.

    - Abigail Banjo-Akintimehin - 2019-10-05 21:55:44 Quote

  • I'll advise you that before you head on to the court,try and take all channels of resolving the issue by informing both parents in other to resolve the issue.All of you need to stay together under one roof.

    In conclusion, your daughter needs you and the Dad for proper up bringing of her.please allow both parents to get involve in finding a lasting solution on this issue.

    - Abiodun Leigh - 2019-10-05 22:01:48 Quote

  • Yeah 

    I really support you sue him ..he should father and take care of the baby even if you guyz are not gonna get married. He should take his responsibilities my dear. If you refuse to sur him, then you are suffering the baby deliberately, and that would be unfair 

    - Fabunmi Daniel - 2019-10-05 22:03:34 Quote

  • Suing him is a good decision oh, but , why not use that money you will waste to cater for your child . She is your future , just take care of her and concentrate on her. When she becomes successful , I am.sure the father will come looking for her and begging for forgiveness. Then , you can choose what to do to him

    - Olawumi Adedeji - 2019-10-05 22:04:25 Quote

  • Yes sue him because what he did is really bad and unfair. Get a good lawyer who will be able to proof breach of promise to marry and claim huge compensation from him.

    - Ibrahim Khairatu - 2019-10-05 22:07:08 Quote

  • You say he cheated on you but it's the other way round. Before you got so involved with him you should at least known his family. We Ladies really need to be careful. Before we get so involved in a relationship even to the extent of having Unprotected S*x, you should know your guy well even to his family. My advice for you is to first speak to him and tell him that things are not easy, he has to support you one way or the other.

    - Ifeoma Emmanuel - 2019-10-05 22:07:21 Quote

  • In as much as I really feel for you right now, I would really like to know if he promised you marriage at any point because only them do you have the right to sue him according to the breach of marriage promise law newly inaugurated into the constitution. Aside that you can't really sue him because you both were not even married. My advise is to settle whatever it is amicable between yourselves.

    - Ndukwe Ikechukwu - 2019-10-05 22:13:59 Quote

  • Sueing for the father of your child is not a good idea because, even if you killed him, his blood will still reign your veins which is your daughter. I believe one thing for sure, he will surely regrets his attitude over you and ask for forgiveness.

    - Tsekar Leonard Aondoakula - 2019-10-05 22:14:30 Quote

  • It's of no need to sue him, what I'd advise you do is to is to take the responsibility to raise the child. She's yours and your future. Sueing him will only make you spend and it's unnecessary. At the end of the day, you might end up in regrets. So face your demon and overcome. 

    - Allwell Ekpe - 2019-10-05 22:19:40 Quote

  • The man is very heartless,I think u should take it up legally if you have enough funds to follow the case up so he can also get to contribute in the upkeep of the little child, atleast that will ease your struggles 

    - Adejuwon Samuel - 2019-10-05 22:21:35 Quote

  • It's not advisable to sue the Father, because doing that won't help the issue.... Rather,, I'll say that you should keep the Faith and keep on trusting in the Lord who led you safely up to this moment, because He will always be there for you, even when the whole world will be against you.... God never fails 

    - Onyebuchi Bednar - 2019-10-05 22:24:55 Quote

  • What are you sure him for? Is it that he lied to you or that he didn't take care of your baby? You don't need to sue him. I think you should do is to inform him and his family that his daughter needs him. She wants to return to her father. If the man refused to take responsibility of the girl , you then sue him to Court.

    - Onwa Matthew - 2019-10-05 22:42:15 Quote

  • Remember that any decision you take affects not just you but your daughter too,  why don't you direct the energy you wanna waste in suing him to your daughter,  the mistake has been made already..  Move on and forget about him and watch him come back to you 

    - Adedamola Ajayi - 2019-10-05 22:52:42 Quote

  • There's no need to sue him to court, what has happened has happened. All you have to be thinking now is to move on,considering the fact that your child is already 12years old , I don't think the petition will hold much wait in court based on the fact that your child is already 12years old . 

    So I will advice you move on and live everything to God . God will see you through 

    - Mordi Christian - 2019-10-05 22:54:13 Quote

  • Anyway, the mistake has being done. Both you and your guy made a mistake. how on earth will you allow a man to impregnant you with out any official steps. Now why do you want to sue him? The relationship was not regal, so you have no prove. He can decide to deny it. Remember, no be the person wan first call police the win case. Just meet him and discuses with him.

    - CHRISTIAN IFEANYICHUKWU - 2019-10-05 22:59:13 Quote

  • This is so sad but sister you just need to let's go. Leave him to God. He's definitely not going unpunished how will you impregnate someone you have a family already. He's irresponsible. He can't take care of his children. He now left you to take care of a child all by yourself. It's unfair but i will still say you should forgive him let God judge. Everything is going to be fine. 

    - Ajala Blessing - 2019-10-05 23:01:07 Quote

  • First it was not right for you to enter into an intimate relationship with someone you know little or nothing about him. You gave in to him simply because he had a good job and was taking good care of you but you were not bothered of knowing his family until the unfortunate thing happened.  I appriciate your courage for not terminating the pregnancy. Now that you have known the truth that the young has a wife before you, and his refusal to accept the sponsorship of your baby he can be sue if you beleive he is the true father of you baby.

    - Akese Francis - 2019-10-05 23:01:11 Quote

  • My dearly beloved friend,peace be unto you. By the grace of God it is well. Sueing him would not solve the matter rather it can make things worst by draining up all of your money,and you might not win as well so what I'll advice you to do is to pray and see whether you can get in touch with his mother and try to see if he is willing to take care of d child and pay child support

    - JOSEPH CHIKEZIE - 2019-10-05 23:03:52 Quote

  • Suing him is not the solution because what if he was found  guilty in court? Do you think that will make him accept you back. All you need to do is to get a lawyer that knows a lot about human rights, the lawyer will be the one to fight for your financial rights for you and your 12year old daughter... I think all you need from him is just the normal right from a father to his daughter and wife. After getting your rights from him, move on with your life 

    - Adaranijo Muhammad Toha - 2019-10-05 23:06:20 Quote

  • If he has not been active in the child upbringing you can sue him but try calling his attention to Hus responsibility before you do that, perhaps inform his parents maybe something can be done to it.

    - Olawole Taofeek - 2019-10-05 23:08:56 Quote

  • Please I agree with you, take him to court he has a role to play as the father of your daughter , since you said you're not a good place financially and otherwise please do the needful for your daughter. She has a right to a good life. 

    - Tochukwu Ojukwu - 2019-10-05 23:11:25 Quote

  • My dear you don't need that at all,well it not that easy to be a single mother,but still yet you will have to move on,what you need now is that you should be more prayerful,and try to raise your daughter well,so that in future she will be your gain,and moreso  you can settle down with another man,that you know he will be able to take good care of you and your daughter,cause the child new a fatherly care.

    And leave your daughter's dad for God to bless, smile

    - Morounfolu Damilola - 2019-10-05 23:22:54 Quote

  • My dear you don't need that at all,well it not that easy to be a single mother,but still yet you will have to move on,what you need now is that you should be more prayerful,and try to raise your daughter well,so that in future she will be your gain,and moreso  you can settle down with another man,that you know he will be able to take good care of you and your daughter,cause the child new a fatherly care.

    And leave your daughter's dad for God to bless, smile

    - Morounfolu Damilola - 2019-10-05 23:30:36 Quote

  • Hmm. You guys were never officially married so even if you suing him then what will you be suing him for? The law doesn't work that way, you should understand that he is a married man with family. 

    All you can ask for is him taking care of the child you had for him

    - Ealefoh Adesuwa - 2019-10-05 23:36:55 Quote

  • I feel you should visit him and his wife in their home, not to scatter the marriage but to appeal to the wife of your condition and beg Femi to rent a place for you and your child, pay the necessary dues/fees and take care of your basic needs.

    My two cents advice

    - Peter Aideloje - 2019-10-05 23:50:23 Quote

  • This should serve as a lesson to all girls out there that are rushing into a relationship without knowing enough of their so called boyfriend background and back story.you should sue him at least so that he will take full responsibility of the child you both have.

    - Ugwuodo Stanley - 2019-10-05 23:50:55 Quote

  • Oh dear.. One fact that'll never change is he's the father of your daughter and she won't be happy to see her father in jail if convicted. Try and talk to him about his responsibilities. If he turns on deaf ears. Please continue to pray God will support you dear.

    - Daniel Gabriel - 2019-10-05 23:50:57 Quote

  • Do aurora family bit if they don't take it too serious then sue him to the court he will probably be serious about it cuz this is foolishness how can you be married and hide it to your girlfriend after giving her pregnant you run away from her, some people are so stupid

    - Abubakar Sadeeq Salihu - 2019-10-05 23:59:19 Quote

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