My Diary Or My Relationship
MY DIARY OR MY RELATIONSHIP
I have always been fond of writing stuffs on my diary, events that have passed and other experiences I have had over the time, including wrong relationships that I have been in. My life on a paper or been told as a story is what I have always craved for so I always write most of my life experiences on my diary and well detailed.
I and my boyfriend Otu have been dating for about a year now, I can’t completely say things has been great, but at some point we have been very happy with each other. We have had both bad times and good times, still we have never been apart.
A day came when I went to see Otu at his apartment, so I went with some of my stuffs since I had plans staying over for weekend, and I brought with me some of my stuffs that I would be needing, and also my diary mistakenly, I had forgotten it in the bag I used two days before.
Otu has always wondered and asked me what I wrote about and I somewhat feel embarrassed explaining the content of what is inside to him (mostly the ones I wrote about my exes and awful sex experiences I have had), so my answers to him has always been gibberish.
It was Sunday afternoon and I have not returned from church, Otu attended Believers united fellowship in campus while I attended the main church in town. To add I am a worker in my church so I waited for workers meeting as instructed by our Parish leader. Otu decided to help me pack some of my stuff inside my bag because I planned on leaving that Sunday evening because I was having an early morning class the next morning being Monday.
While arranging, Otu came across my diary that I have been keeping away from him and he decided to go through it. The first page that he saw was what happened to me five years ago when I allowed three guys to have sex with me in a threesome, to me it was a wonderful sex experience and i was very excited while I was writing it and wrote a lot of naughty stuffs about what happened that day, but that happened years before I met the love of my life Otu.
Before he could read further, I came in and saw him holding my diary. He was reading with high concentration and with a very sad face, so I quickly rushed and collected it from him. He insisted on reading the whole diary, calling me names with anger and tears all showing in his eyes, I could wonder what he had read and what was going through his mind.
I tried calming him down so I can fully explain to him that what he read was a long time ago and I’m not that girl anymore, but he was so filled with anger and asked me to leave threatening to do something bad if I don’t leave, so I left.
I called him later that evening to know if he had calm down and probably ready to talk about it so I can apologize and let him know my reasons for writing, and also to tell him it’s something that had happened years before I met him. He sounded fine on phone and insisted on reading everything in my diary, saying he feels like he doesn’t know who he was dating, that if I wanted the relationship to continue I should bring the diary for him to finish reading it.
I know that if Otu should read everything written in that diary our relationship will be over. I am so confused and depressed right now because I love him and I’m not ready to let go. Is it right for me to have kept the diary from him? Or should I allowed him to read everything including my hoe stories?...I’m so confused.