MY DIARY OR MY RELATIONSHIP
I have always been fond of writing stuffs on my diary, events that have passed and other experiences I have had over the time, including wrong relationships that I have been in. My life on a paper or been told as a story is what I have always craved for so I always write most of my life experiences on my diary and well detailed.
I and my boyfriend Otu have been dating for about a year now, I can’t completely say things has been great, but at some point we have been very happy with each other. We have had both bad times and good times, still we have never been apart.
A day came when I went to see Otu at his apartment, so I went with some of my stuffs since I had plans staying over for weekend, and I brought with me some of my stuffs that I would be needing, and also my diary mistakenly, I had forgotten it in the bag I used two days before.
Otu has always wondered and asked me what I wrote about and I somewhat feel embarrassed explaining the content of what is inside to him (mostly the ones I wrote about my exes and awful sex experiences I have had), so my answers to him has always been gibberish.
It was Sunday afternoon and I have not returned from church, Otu attended Believers united fellowship in campus while I attended the main church in town. To add I am a worker in my church so I waited for workers meeting as instructed by our Parish leader. Otu decided to help me pack some of my stuff inside my bag because I planned on leaving that Sunday evening because I was having an early morning class the next morning being Monday.
While arranging, Otu came across my diary that I have been keeping away from him and he decided to go through it. The first page that he saw was what happened to me five years ago when I allowed three guys to have sex with me in a threesome, to me it was a wonderful sex experience and i was very excited while I was writing it and wrote a lot of naughty stuffs about what happened that day, but that happened years before I met the love of my life Otu.
Before he could read further, I came in and saw him holding my diary. He was reading with high concentration and with a very sad face, so I quickly rushed and collected it from him. He insisted on reading the whole diary, calling me names with anger and tears all showing in his eyes, I could wonder what he had read and what was going through his mind.
I tried calming him down so I can fully explain to him that what he read was a long time ago and I’m not that girl anymore, but he was so filled with anger and asked me to leave threatening to do something bad if I don’t leave, so I left.
I called him later that evening to know if he had calm down and probably ready to talk about it so I can apologize and let him know my reasons for writing, and also to tell him it’s something that had happened years before I met him. He sounded fine on phone and insisted on reading everything in my diary, saying he feels like he doesn’t know who he was dating, that if I wanted the relationship to continue I should bring the diary for him to finish reading it.
I know that if Otu should read everything written in that diary our relationship will be over. I am so confused and depressed right now because I love him and I’m not ready to let go. Is it right for me to have kept the diary from him? Or should I allowed him to read everything including my hoe stories?...I’m so confused.
He shouldn't have gone through your diary in the first place, there is a thing called privacy. And I don't think giving him your diary to read is going to solve the issue, what if after reading the diary and he decided to end the relationship? He read one page and he is this hurt and angry, what happens when he reads the whole content?
Don't allow him satisfy his curiosity... He invaded your privacy... He should be the one apologizing... The only thing I think you owe him now is letting him know it happened a long time ago after that it'll be his choice to loose an amazing person or to put everything aside and move on
when it come to relationship i think little privacy is allow.he ought not to have gone through your diary but it had happened i think you should go back to him during your leisure time to resolve it and explain everything for him if he truly love you then i think he's gonna continue with you
I have always thought of the idea of using a diary to be nonsense. I feel keeping a diary and recording all your life experiences there will never make you go forward, that kind of person will continue to dwell in the past and the past in return will continue to interfere in the future. that is exactly what is happening to you now. Well, the deed has been done, he has seen it already, there is no point in hiding it now, let him read it and be prepared to go all out with him, do not hold back the truth and let him see the sincerity. If he loves you he'll surely forgive you.
Love is a very powerful thing and from your statement,you love him,even if anyone here tells you what to do,the love you have for him will still push you to still do what your mind tells you. You have said it all,if you show him and he reads it,the relationship will still be over but in case you show him,make sure you are there with him so that he wont take the picture and start sending to his friends. After you must have showed him or allowed him to read it, make sure you burn it aftwerwards. You need to forget your past and move on in full pack.
He is in shock based on what he read, and that has made him feel he doesn't know who you really are anymore. Since he has requested for the diary, let him read it and once he has satisfied his curiosity, then explain to him it happened a long time ago before you met him and if he doesn't listen, give him space, he is in disbelief, if he truly loves you, he will call you back because it all happened in the past
Well if you really love him that much, let him read it because am very sure you might have been adding dates to every of your write ups in the diary, that would help in making him believe it's your old life, but if you haven't been writing the date, still let him read it if he decides to leave it means he can't stay by you when something bigger happens and it also shows he never totally loved you but I'd not am sure he will come around after reading the diary
Honestly, he made a very wrong decision opening your diary in the first place. Truth be told if a relationship is going to last, both parties should cultivate the habit of respecting one another's privacy. I think it is better you refuse to give him the diary to read. There's no law against trying to keep your secrets. The decision is left to you.
Seriously speaking your so called diary will ruin your relationship anywhere even if you end of losing out because no guy will read what you just said that will not be curious about what's next and if he finished reading it as you said the relationship is over I promise only if he want to deceive you for a while before breaking it......one advise for you throw away the novel...
Ur story is heart 💔 breaking,what I see abt this is that ur past is hurting you really bad,no matter what we tell you here the choice to stay or leave u is to be made by ur boyfriend showing him or keeping it away from him he already have a very different picture of u.all u need to do is go to him with the diary let him read it and satisfy his curiosity collect it and explain the incident happened a very long time ago. If he loves u he will stick with u.my dear keeping a diary is a bad thing to do after that burn or throw the diary away
There are two sides to this, if you don't give him, he will feel you are hiding something from him and if you should give him and he is able to go through all was written there is another bad feelings from him to you, but to me let him have it and make him understand that those were your past and no anymore.
Actually you are in the wrong when it comes to you keeping a diary, you shouldn't have kept a diary at all. Keep your fantasy in your head and he too is wrong for going through your stuffs, that is invasion of privacy. Let him read the diary, then explain to him. If he truly loves you, all will be well
Firstly, you have already made a mistake by letting him get to know what is inside the diary by himself before showing him, If you have willing gave it to him up check earlier it wont be so serious to this, because I believe everyone has his or has PAst behavior. My advice for you is to go and show him willingly if u don't want to loose ur guy because no amount of pleading can make him Calm.
I dont think you should give your diary to him to continue reading. But you shouldn't be keeping the diary till date if you are truly a changed person now, and if you must keep your diary, those parts where you were still in the world shouldn't be found in your diary because old things are past away. I think you should just find a good time to explain things to him and make him see reasons with you.
To me keeping the diary away from him means that you are and have been hiding things from him which makes a relationship so unhealthy it denote that you are not been truthful to him if the relationship should continue I think he has to read through so he won't be in the dark then apologize and make him understand those things are your past left to him to make his decision of staying or leaving
Its not good to hide anything in relationship. Your secrets should have been known when you were courting with him. Hiding the dangerous parts of your life for too long before and in marriage is disaster because when he finally gets to know, he might divorce you. If eventually you are scared of showing him the diary, may be you destroy it and find time to explain the old things you were doing before and that you are now a changed person. You should pray before doing this and God will surely intervain for you
My dear I know in a relationship there should be transparency from both sides, but both people in a relationship should also respect each other's privacy. I feel he was very wrong to go through your diary because that's one of the most private belongings of a person.
For me, I think you should not give him your diary to read. For him to read the first content of the page, and he is so mad like that, what of if he reads all, and like you've said your "hoe stories" he wouldn't be happy with that and the relationship can end just like that, cause to him, he will be like "the person I'm planning to marry is a hoe". And when he even break up with you, your diary that is supposed to be private is no longer private, he can even go worst by sharing your experience with other people... And one more thing, always secure the things that are personal to you.
Good that he discovered. You shouldn't have kept such a diary in the first place because it's not a good testimony about you and such a thing has a way of back firing. Well, it takes two to tangle they say, if truly you want the relationship to continue, pray about it and let him see from his reasons of going into a relationship with you in the first place. I believe he also has some bad experience as regard relationship in the past which he may want to keep away from you. Figure out how you started with him and surely all things will normalize.
Looking at this from my own view I think a diary should be your personal belongings, but once you are in a relationship, I think there shouldn't be any anything like privacy , because once you have decided to be together, you are now one and there shouldn't be anything like secret, you should be able to express yourself and free with your spouse in a relationship, even the word relationship has a meaning
For a reason it was very wrong on his part to go into your stuff and even open to read a personal diary. On the other hand you would have told him along the way of who you we're in the past. Nothing hurts like finding out the truth somewhere else, if you had told him yourself, who knows the outcome might have been different and favorable. I'll advice you don't give him your diary to read. He is already on fire,don't add more fuel. Try to talk and sit with him one on one to work things out.If he really loves you he will believe and forgive you
Your relationship is very important, since you love him, you should have tell him all your story, and every thing written on the diary, your past relationships and your important things written in diary, for long and last relationship, both of you need know your past, so call him and express to him..
if he truly loves you he would not do anything to hurt you and he had made a mistake by going though your diary and if he is in love with you he would listen to your explanation and forgive you because it all happened in the past before you meet him we all have our fouls
My dear just reading a page he got too bad and aggressive what if he read all the whole content can't imagine what gonna happen, maybe you shouldn't show it to him or even if you feel like just to keep the relationship make sure you are there with him to avoid some complicating issues.And I hope you forget your past and move on with life
A dairy is a private and confidential item to everyone. Even if he was so curious to know what you've been writing about, he should have respected the fact that, that book is a personal belonging. My dear don't take the dairy to him to satisfy his curiosity, rather try talking to him and explain the fact that your life before you met him is different from the life you're living now.
I feel you should not give him your diary to read because that is your private life and if your boyfriend truly loves you he'll forget everything about the past and move on with you there are people that have done worse than you so don't give him if he can't accept you for who you are let him go
U have made him the love of your life and for that reason no secrets should be kept from any of u I think u have let him know about all of this in due times because u were suppose to create a trust level with your spouse and believe me to be on the safer side in as much as u love try not to hid everything from him
This is really a sad story....I'll start by saying that writing down your worst and best experience is one way of receiving your mind of things,You writing almost all your life experience isn't bad but you should have despose the daily on the very first day you realize you were in love with Otu that is letting go of your past which is the dairy... I feel you should sit down and talk about things and try explaining things and despose the dairy because if he reads it i guarantee you loosing him.
I think the mistake you made was not telling him about your past from the onset, he surely feels hurt and you can't blame him for that. In my opinion, u owe him the truth, but if u don't want him to read the diary because of it's content because the relationship will be over, I think it will be over in both ways but if he really loves you nd knows that you are a changed person then that would really be the best for both of you
A dairy is a friend to relate with.Even if he was so curious to know what you've been writing about, he should have respected the fact that, that book is a personal belonging. My dear don't take the dairy to him to satisfy his curiosity, rather try talking to him and explain the fact that your life before you met him is different from the life you're living now.
In relationship there is no secret so I doubt of the word privacy really exist because your partner is your best friend so I guess he should know everything. So return the diary to him and explain things clearer so he can know your past and whenever someone says about it he won't be shocked.
It's very rude to go through someone private stuffs
Him going through your diary was very wrong and you shouldn't give it to him to read unless you don't want it private again
It all depends on the content of the diary and how well you know your boyfriend.
If he's an understanding boy, then give him otherwise....keep it private