My Father Wants My Custody!!!

I am 18 years old and for the past years of my life ,i have only had a mother who goes through stress to take care of me.
Asides that My paternal Grandfather,who is late used to Send in money for my Upkeep from time to time.

Now, my father is back,and wants me to  permanently immigrate to The UK where he stays with his family.

What do i Do?
The situation of the country is hard but i dont want to leave my mother.

Comments Reply
  • My dear if truly your father  means good for you, like he want you over there with him ( abroad) then go with him, think of the current situation of the country and if you really love your mom that much you can always come back for her when you are self-made. 

    - Nwamadi Venansius - 2019-10-06 09:43:42 Quote

  • Hmm I can only say you should have a bargain with him that he goes with you and your mother even if hes not remarrying her but you cant live without her so he has to choose so that you wont live your mum and she did be lonely living alone of I was your shoes I did do the same

    - Wilson Akele - 2019-10-06 09:48:41 Quote

  • This is a very difficult decision to make because of the affection you have for your mother, but I will just advice you to consult your mother am very sure she also want the best for you

    considering the situation of the country I will advice you to go, to make a better person of your self ,that is if you trust your said father enough

    I hope my advice helps

    - Lims Jr - 2019-10-06 09:58:53 Quote

  • A situation like this requires tactful thinking. It's unwise leaving your mom behind. Also, this nation isn't favourable for you. The best option is to disagree with your father. He'll surely find means of catering for your mom's immigration too.

    - Abdulmalik Adeyinka - 2019-10-06 10:03:54 Quote

  • Yes the situation of the country is hard but think about your mum she's been there for you since 18yrs without the help of you dad....he just came now & wanna hijacked you... As your mum if she wants you to go & if it truly come from her heart.... Wanna ask you this what if where you are going is nothing compared to where you are right now like is harder over there?what will you do then

    - Atilola Mariam ikeola - 2019-10-06 10:06:44 Quote

  • Well i think you have no choice you have to say goodbye to your mother and travel t us because if you stay things will be cry hard for the both of you since its Nigeria but if you immigrate and you go to USA things are not very hard there unlike Nigeria you can be sending money every week to your mum to take care of herself and you will visit her occasionally if you love her so much as you have expressed

    - Muorah Kelvin - 2019-10-06 10:07:53 Quote

  • See my dear I know you love your mom but I think you should with your dad, so that you can make life better for you and your mom and I will will definitely come back for her and always keep in with her 

    The lord is your strength dear 

    - Idika Chinonso - 2019-10-06 11:21:02 Quote

  • If I were in your shoes , I would seriously talk to my mom then make her understand that if I went with my dad I would surely make it over there.. With my success over there I will always send money to her and come back to take her along..

    The only reason I would go with my dad is to make her proud.. Achieve whatever I wanna achieve then come ba

    - Glory Ibe - 2019-10-06 11:28:35 Quote

  • You can't make the decision, let your mum decide for you, if she want you to be successful she wouldn't mind letting you go abroad.  And once u get there and start making money don't forget to take good care of her

    - Luqman Atanda - 2019-10-06 11:29:16 Quote

  • You should stay with your mother because she go through hell because of you and if your father need you tell him to buy a ticket for the mother and the grandfather and be should booked the flight for all of you

    - David Adebayo - 2019-10-06 11:31:10 Quote

  • It is well with your soul my dear, you can move in with your father maybe everything can turn around for you and your mother, or better still you may seek your mothers opinion  and hear her out. My thought thou

    - Uwejeyah Helen - 2019-10-06 11:31:25 Quote

  • I believe in a situation like this, you can be the person who would catalize the coma back of your parents... Though that's if your dad has not remarried. This is because leaving your mother at this time is only saying that you can ditch her at any time and she will be so hurt to see you go... I think it's better you speak to her and hear her opinion too..  no man is an island of knowledge... Who knows if she would want you to go too in the hope that you would get a better life over there... No one knows ..

    - Emmanuel Akinduro - 2019-10-06 11:32:07 Quote

  • Your father should have take you and mother since you don't want to leave your. And if he does not to take you and her better tell him because she was there for you all the times.

    - Tsekar Leonard Aondoakula - 2019-10-06 11:32:10 Quote

  • I think you need to explain to your father that you can't just leave like that make him understand what you went through with your mom when he wasn't there and explain to him about you guy's getting back as a family.

    - Ajao basit - 2019-10-06 11:33:41 Quote

  • My dear knw this that your stepmother might be someone you don't knw very well stay with your mother and tell your father that you don't want to leave your mother alone, because she has been the one taking care of you.

    If your father did not do anything for you since you grow up, don't jump inside the dream that you don't choose to be, you might end up as a slave to your stepmother.

    - Doherty Dare - 2019-10-06 11:33:43 Quote

  • It is well with your soul my dear, you can move in with your father maybe everything can turn around for you and your mother, or better still you may seek your mothers opinion  and hear her out. My thought thou

    - Uwejeyah Helen - 2019-10-06 11:33:47 Quote

  • If truly you believe that the situation of this country is hard then leave your mother and make money and take good care of your mother. A lot of challenges will come your way out there, always remember why you leave hard country.

    - Hammed Bakare - 2019-10-06 11:37:23 Quote

  • Well if you know you can stay with him fine, but never forget you mum who has been struggling over you all this while, staying put with yiy mum with give you rest of mind than staying with those you are not familiar with. If you can talk to you dad to be sending you money for your up keep to reduce the stress of your mum.

    - Alamu Olayinka Abass - 2019-10-06 12:03:07 Quote

  • Don't make decide in a hurry. Take your time to pray and decide about it. If you're old enough you can go and make money then come back to Nigeria .

    - Philip Fadoyin - 2019-10-06 12:06:47 Quote

  • Is good you're seeking for counsel. Truth be told, you gonna break the heart of your mom if you leave her to UK. If your father loves you that much he should pick you up with your mother. So that all the suffering of your mom for 18yrs could be rewarded. Do not hurt her by living her

    - Chimezie Anyiam - 2019-10-06 12:07:30 Quote

  • Since you don't want to leave your mother, I'd advice that you try to convince him to take your mother along it else you would not come, and if he really wants you, he'll do it

    - Teslim Bello - 2019-10-06 12:16:18 Quote

  • Though he is your father but he hadn't been there when you were passing through a lot. I would advice you to stay with your mum despite the offer from your dad. This is the time to make up to your mum. Don't let her down. God will help in you and you will make it

    - Oluwatumininu Abel - 2019-10-06 12:26:45 Quote

  • Don't ever bite the finger that fed you, your mum was there for you in all good and bad so your father don't have the right to take your custody, now you are a grown up and can take care of your self please don't hurt your mother because if you leave her and go for your father trust me you won't make it in life. Some things are much more important than money.

    - Nduka Favour - 2019-10-06 12:31:06 Quote

  • It is a free world fill free to express yourself no matter what, so tell your dad your reasons why you don't want to go with him, and reason thing over with him but it is all about the one that will favour you and your family first.if the movement favours you go with him.

    - Austin Chinedu - 2019-10-06 12:37:46 Quote

  • The fact that you are moving to the UK doesn't mean you will forget your mother, you have to Chase your dream and be the woman your mother wanted you to be . you don't have to stay back because of your mother.

    Explain this to her and am very sure she will support you to go , even your mother wants the best for you too

    You can be sending her money for her upkeep when you have gotten a job over there .every mother wants the best for her child

    - Mordi Christian - 2019-10-06 12:43:18 Quote

  • Why do the father think that he will just come one day and take over from your mother? Where was he before to think he can just take over your custody? I will advice tell your mum, work in accordance to what your mom says. 

    - Adelokun Temidayo - 2019-10-06 12:44:31 Quote

  • You have to sit and think it over and decide on what is best for you, you can actually talk to him to set something up for you here in Nigeria, since you don't want to leave your mum.

    - Horlarsunkanmi Ridwanullahi - 2019-10-06 12:46:39 Quote

  • It is obvious you have hard time rejecting your father's offer, ofcourse its a good offer. But i think in this case you shouldn't not be selfish, talk to your mother and agree on a decision. Because doing anything dat would hurt her is really uncalled for.

    - Billy John - 2019-10-06 12:46:59 Quote

  • Go and meet your father provided he has the financial capability to take care of you, such that you can take care of your mum. Stay in touch with your mum. And when opportunity to see her comes, do so.

    - Grace Adeyemi - 2019-10-06 12:51:13 Quote

  • What I advise is that you tell your father that you want you your mother taken care of and if he doesn't agree I don't advise you leave your mom just because of economic recession

    - Oyinkuro Precious - 2019-10-06 12:51:41 Quote

  • The situation of the country might be hard but do you know what you'll be doing in the U.K. to survive. He may be your father but who was there all these years for you? Stay with your mum, hustle and make her efforts worth it

    - Gabriel Moses - 2019-10-06 12:55:50 Quote

  • You have three options here to get into consideration :

    1) its either You decline the request to now migrate to UK and live with him without yiur mother who has always been there for you till this moment, or

    2)Accept to migrate over to the UK and leave your  mum back home to suffer, have heart breaks and then die away of heartbreak that her bundle of joy was taken from her, or

    3)You insist on moving over to the UK with your mum, or at least grant access to her temloray stay with you and then be coming over to meet you from tine to time from Nigeria, and he should make her life meaningful and resourceful, if not just abandoning and leaving her to her fate will be the worse thing to ever think of. 

    - PETER MMADUEKE - 2019-10-06 13:00:42 Quote

  • Dont let that woman who suffered for you cry because her tires will be on you stay with her forget about the enjoyment you are the source of her hsppiness remember but if she tell you to go no problem

    - Francis Udoh - 2019-10-06 13:01:59 Quote

  • Supposed I'm the one I can't do such thing. How will leave my mom that brought me up when I had no one to carter or take of me and I will now leave her because of an useless her father that haven't been there for me all this and had to later come and telling me to come to the UK without my him and my mom being together cause of a filthy money he has, I wouldn't think of it twice and tell him No!! 

    - Gabriel Akinbode - 2019-10-06 13:02:14 Quote

  • Those people involve in taking care of you since are your real parent which they really love you .. The best thing is to stay with them so all their effort won't go in vain

    - Bamidele Oluwafemi - 2019-10-06 13:06:49 Quote

  • I think if he wants your custody so bad you have higher edge controlling him in some kinda way tell him if he wants you so bad he should immigrate your mum too since you don't want to leave her alone then the ball is in your court if he doesn't agree to bringing your mum I guess you will have to immigrate alone when ya settled you can try to bring in your mum after few years of stay 

    - Oluwadami Titilayo - 2019-10-06 13:07:40 Quote

  • My dear this is a difficult one. Traveling abroad will give you a better future than staying will have a good education over there than here why not explain things to your mom giving her reasonable points why you should go with your dad believe me she will understand although it won't be easy for her. You can go and when you start working you can be sending her lots of money.. .

    - CHIOMA MBONU - 2019-10-06 13:11:34 Quote

  • In this case I suggest you talk to your mom. Assuming you stay with her now and study in Nigeria all because you love her, it will dent your future because you will suffer and that suffering will continue even after you grow but let's look at it this way, you tell your mom and tell her you want to go, she will cry and later you left and have a good education and s better future tomorrow. Now you will call your mom to come and stay with you. You see the best is to go. 

    - TOCHUKWU KINGSLEY OKOYE - 2019-10-06 13:21:36 Quote

  • My dear men are selfish they do things that will brnefit they themselves and not others..think of why he would suddenly show up after all these years to take u away... This is someone that barely knows you how can he love u?? And he has another family too remember..i know times are hard but remember the devil u knownis better than the angel you do not

    - Hadassah Ibrahim - 2019-10-06 13:21:37 Quote

  • If you are considering the situation of the country, consider your mother too she was there for you when no one was there. Little morsel with peace is far better than huge morsel with tribulation. If you follow your father to the UK what will be the faith of your mother? I think the only condition now is if your father is ready to you tell him to take your mother too. 

    - Afolabi Abiola - 2019-10-06 13:23:15 Quote

  • Your mom who trained you up to this stage is your real parent. It's either you go with her or stay back with her and he'll send supports, he juist can't come out of nowhere to claim you, where was he all this years .

    - Onyekachi Paulinus - 2019-10-06 13:23:51 Quote

  • baba. na your future dey at stake o .. leave sympathy. by the time yougo dey make bars dey send your momsi as far u no forget am she go still happy. highest she will miss u. go huzzle for uk bro . go find greener pastures. if hin no work for you here try another place

    - Obi Chukwuebuka - 2019-10-06 13:33:11 Quote

  • True! The situation of the country is hard, what is your assurance that going down there will be of good to you? Remember, he has a new family--wife and kids. Think about it. 

    - Daniel Temiloluwa - 2019-10-06 13:41:59 Quote

  • Have a one on one discuss with your mum as regards how much you loved and would like to be with her.

    Then make her understand that you have a better chance there in the UK than staying here in Nigeria.

    But if your mum is a well to do kind of person, stay with her and let your father be sending you upkeep if he wants to be involved in your affairs.

    That's my take.

    - Mohammed Abdulrafiu - 2019-10-06 13:48:35 Quote

  • My own advise for you is go abroad and meet your father if you want the best for you and your mom, cos he will be able to cater for your education, and after you've finished your education over there, you can come back and take good care of your mother. 

    - RASHEED ADEBISI USMAN - 2019-10-06 13:50:06 Quote

  • The situation of the country should not be a reason why you will leave your own mother that suffered hard to bring you up for the so called UK.i Will advise you stay back and take care of your lovely mother but if it's her own wish you go with your father then you can go ahead.

     Think Wise.

    - Egu John - 2019-10-06 13:51:25 Quote

  • If you don't want to leave your mother then you don't have to and you don't need to,it's as simple as that but if you want to go then you need to talk to your mother about it and hear what she has to see,if she tells you to go then you can go because you need her permission

    - Idumwonyi iwinosa prosper - 2019-10-06 13:56:41 Quote

  • Since you don't want to leave your mother,  I would advise you to stay, cus you can't trust your dad, and you can't trust his family. Please Critically think about it or try to convince him to take your mum along with you , that will be better 

    - Adejuwon Samuel - 2019-10-06 14:00:49 Quote

  • You should convince him to take your mum along since you can't do without her 

    Wt if you go alone nd his family over there doesn't like you 

    If your mum is with you, you'll have someone to look out for you 

    - Phorl Adeyemi - 2019-10-06 14:02:44 Quote

  • My friend you better stay with your mum in UK and look for a job there, and plane your life over there. You can do it my friend, first think about yourself and think about your mum and think about where you are coming from. Then you check your situation back home. But you didn't made mentioned if mum is with you in UK. My advice to you plane as for now, don't makes and come closer to God he will see you through in Jesus name amen

    - Anoke Richard O. - 2019-10-06 14:03:14 Quote

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