My Girlfriend Has Smoking And Drinking Issues

Hello everyone 
I'll try to keep this as brief as possible.
So we've been dating with my girlfriend for about a year plus but for most of that time ive not been around but now am back and I want to be more serious in the relationship because as it stands gradually I got attached to her honestly and I love her so dearly but of recent she opened up to me about her smoking and drinking habit that she wants to stop it but she finds it hard and yes its that serious.
Honestly speaking I was not happy when I got to know of it but what can I do she has my mumu button already.
So later I told her that if she really wants the relationship to continue she has to stop drinking or smoking she agreed together we've been trying to stop it and I've been encouraging her for about two weeks she didn't take anything but one day she came crying that she fell for her habit again since then I've been also encouraging her to stop but when we make progress she goes back again 
Please I need advice on how to curb this issue I can't leave this girl I really love her.

Comments Reply
  • Quitting smoking and drinking can be difficult but with determination and help from family and friends she can be able to overcome them. Deciding on a quit date and avoiding the factors that influences smoking/ drinking can go a long way. Also having a support system that will help her is great.

    - Julia Onyinye - 2019-10-09 12:37:10 Quote

  • I just read the lines where you said that you loved her and you can't leave her so the best thing you will do is to work on her imperfections and prayers too , impossible is nothing.

    - Obika Foster - 2019-10-09 18:09:07 Quote

  • I would implore you to also be by her side now because she needs you now more than before, be her guide and comforter, stopping smoking and drinking can be very hard than the way we think of it. 

    - Hope Abah - 2019-10-09 18:09:16 Quote

  • show her more love, let her know she is not a bad person but that she can become a better person, a good mother and role model for kids in the future if she quit those habits

    - Macqueen Omoruyi - 2019-10-09 18:12:06 Quote

  • Well, I had never been in your shoe. Or ever get addicted with the two. But quitting what you like most or really does most time is the hardest things to quit in most cases...

    However, to quit your present job, you need to have an alternative which am sure you understand my point here.

    - Abdulkareem Robiu - 2019-10-09 18:16:21 Quote

  • I'm not sure there's anything you as a person can do to stop her if she hasn't really decided to stop. If it is too much of an issue for you then you have to move on. If you don't mind too much then carry one with the love

    - Glenn Onwudiwe - 2019-10-09 18:22:31 Quote

  • Addiction can be really bad and it takes a while to stop 

    You gotta be beside her cos trust me these is the time she needs you most...addiction cant stop in a day it takes a while and you are her best option of stopping it 

    - Bello John - 2019-10-09 18:24:22 Quote

  • You see that drinking and smoking is not a easy thing to quit, you have a lot more work to do regarding her drinking and smoking issues, you should sit her down, let her know the consequences of drinking and smoking, and sure she will understand you and stop all those things. 

    - Akanni Awawu omolara - 2019-10-09 18:25:59 Quote

  • Quitting a bad habit can be a very strenuous and challenging task but with dedication and love from people around her she can stop this and she might consider going to a therapist it will really help in quitting this habit 

    - Adekunle Victor - 2019-10-09 19:12:07 Quote

  • A better change is not also achieved a day its a gradual process just keep advising and encouraging her because she really needs your help at this situation she found her self if you truly love her so with time she would change for good

    - Owolabi Psalmist - 2019-10-09 19:13:27 Quote

  • There are different way to make a person stop drinking and smoking and one of it is the one you both agreed upon, which is the withdrawal method( the person resisting the temptation of what he/she is addicted to). This process take time and determination. So you will havw to give her more time and also pray for her.

    - Daniel Jubril - 2019-10-09 19:15:37 Quote

  • Things that are called habit are not called habits for no reason, they are things that are integrated into your sub conscious mind and you can't do without it. It takes a lot of determination and time to stop an habit. You can't hope to stop it in a day. You can't possibly erase something that is already a part of you in a day. It happens gradually. Just give her time and always be there to motivate her to quit smoking.

    - Ilesanmi Abayomi Elijah - 2019-10-09 19:16:25 Quote

  • Sir, everything on Earth has origin. She has to make an action decision to stop. And you have to be very frank and mean to her about the termination of the habit and continuity of the relationship. She also needs support and strong determination to achieve that.

    - Odinakachi Obaji - 2019-10-09 19:18:23 Quote

  • I think you both should go for counseling the person should advisor very well tell us the advantages and the disadvantages and if she should listing I bet you she's going to change

    - Choice Omowunmi - 2019-10-09 19:18:55 Quote

  • Well I think the only way she could stop is by self determination nd let her keep her self busy so DAT she won't be depressed nd want to go back to her habbit

    - Adebayo olalekan - 2019-10-09 19:19:21 Quote

  • to stop smoking and drinking is very hard to someone that is addicted to smoke and drinking, so is a gradually process you will have to be telling her how to quite it because it will not be easy on her to just stop it just like that, I believe talking to her about it she will one day stop it

    - Igwe Francis - 2019-10-09 19:20:12 Quote

  • To quit smoking and drinking is not an  easy thing

    The kardashians mother Kris Jenner used to be an addict,so her children got her a chewing gum that had the taste of the smoke she used to take and it turned out well.

    Also keep encouraging her,don't give up on her

    - Glory Lawal - 2019-10-09 19:23:24 Quote

  • It's a relapse. Addicts find it difficult to stop smoking most times because the brain is used to it. I'll advise that she goes for a rehab and with support from friends and family, she'll get over it as son as possible

    - Festus Olowu - 2019-10-09 19:37:56 Quote

  • 4 some1 to stop smoking and drinking at d same time is not easy....u take it easy or console d person because there are some people DAT cannot do without smoking and drinking......

    - James Nero - 2019-10-09 19:42:07 Quote

  • So you have a problem, and you’ve acknowledged it. First step complete. 

    You should try checking rehabilitation centers or you can google what other ways to stop it or help her.

    - Shiayet Agoni - 2019-10-09 19:45:31 Quote

  • So you have a problem, and you’ve acknowledged it. First step complete. 

    You should try checking rehabilitation centers or you can google what other ways to stop it or help her.

    - Shiayet Agoni - 2019-10-09 19:45:31 Quote

  • The truth there is that when someone is used to smoking, he/she finds it very difficult to stop. But then with determination and encouragement she will be able to stop and also through reading.

    - Comfort Odo - 2019-10-09 19:46:06 Quote

  • Quitting smoking and alcohol is not a easy one i smoking and drinking before I stop, if you know you really love her you need to be patient with her and try your best to be helping her to reduce it with time she will stop it finally 

    - Abimbola Aliu - 2019-10-09 19:51:44 Quote

  • Stopping someone from Drinking and smoking  is a very difficult task don't be so quick to believe she will change over night. It will take time you as the man needs to always encourage her. Another way to reduce it is if she gets her self engaged in activities that won't give her time to think about smoking or drinking. You can also help her in this situation because from the way it seems she loves you too. You can monitor her with phone and make sure at her comfort zone there's nothing related to this substances. Lastly, always put her in prayers too. 

    - Afolabi Abiola - 2019-10-09 19:54:47 Quote

  • It's a habit which she developed with time. It's still going to take time to unlearn it. Give her some time and also pray about it. Sometimes it might not just be a habit. As far as she's determined, she'll overcome. Always make sure she's far from all that all the time.

    - Enatimi Avhunu - 2019-10-09 19:56:20 Quote

  • This is serious. You know stopping such a thing won't be possible at a spot because her system it used to it, it going to take time so you just have to be more patient and continue encouraging her to do her best in order to stop 

    - Noah Hezekiah - 2019-10-09 19:57:04 Quote

  • You should consider the fact that truly she wants to quit, but we are talking about addiction here, quitting smoking and drinking is very hard, it will definitely take some months, she stopped it for 2 weeks and go back to it, let her take it the following day, and after that, talk to her, encourage her if she can go 2 weeks without taking anything, encourage her to go 3 weeks, later 4 weeks, gradually she will forget it.

    - Jerry ifeoluwa Adebayo - 2019-10-09 20:01:38 Quote

  • Be a man. You love her, don't you. Stay with her. This are struggling times she's going through. She really needs help. Love and encourage her. Always stay by her side

    - Obi Chidera - 2019-10-09 20:02:54 Quote

  • To start cry is always hard but on the long run u can even scream that would make it be difficult for you to stop , what she most now is your companies  with time she will forget everything about smoking

    - Desmond Orji - 2019-10-09 20:05:30 Quote

  • Abstaining from drinking and smoking is quite difficult when it becomes a habit. Advicing her might not really stop her from going back to drinking and smoking. Its time you seek professional help. She needs to be rehabilitated. Take her to a rehabilitation center where her drinking and smoking habit can be curbed professionally.

    - Soromtochi Chilaka - 2019-10-09 20:07:02 Quote

  • The fact that she can stop for sometime is a sign that you are making progress, you just need to put in a little more effort and be patient with her and am sure with time, it will totally be a thing of the past.most importantly, the fact that she lets you know when she go back to the old habit is a sign that she is really trying to stop it, and that she values the relationship she has with you.

    - Anthony Adinamou - 2019-10-09 20:07:08 Quote

  • Smoking is one thing, drinking is another thing. With these two combined, brother it will take the grace of God to set her free. My uncle suffered the same fate. All effort by the family to stop it proved abortive until his death. Bros pray hard but in case prayer no work. Look the other way. For a smoking and drinking woman is not a wife material... 

    - Emmanuel Ekaka - 2019-10-09 20:08:51 Quote

  • Stopping smoking and drinking is very hard the drink can be stopped easily but the issue of smoking is hard because it like a devil that very hard to stop so you just have to watch out for her and make her stay away from things that will make her go back into her bad habit

    - Jimoh Abdul - 2019-10-09 20:10:17 Quote

  • Drinking and smoking is actually addicting and very hard to stop especially smoking 

    its jus depends on her preserverance 

    u has to find a new positive hobby to distract her until she can cope

    quitting is hard but there nothing self determination cannot do

    - Emmanuella Obowaiti - 2019-10-09 20:12:17 Quote

  • This is a psychological addiction and is caused as a result of the release of dopamine into the hypothalamus of the brain. Stop the addiction will be difficult but you need to keep her out of the reach of cigarette because when you starve the urge to smoke,within a short time,that urge will die and she will forget about it. Try to make her do recreational activities so as to occupy her time. Idleness is a major propeller of immorality. So get her a work that will occupy most of her time. You can also get medication that will help her lose interest in smoking.

    - Emmanuel Agbasielo - 2019-10-09 20:12:39 Quote

  • This is unknown to most of us, quitting an habbit is not as easy as said but the thing is that people with bad habbit sjosho have someone who will always remind them of the side effect of their habbit

    - Emmanuel Ayooluwa - 2019-10-09 20:15:27 Quote

  • My brother saying from experience it is not easy to end something that is already part of you but trust me if you continue with the way you are taking it and if she put more effort and determine what she really want,you guys will finally see an end to that.

    - Okoro Jude - 2019-10-09 20:16:50 Quote

  • You have to help her in every way. Try to be with her most times, engage in activities that will make her not to think about drinking. Give her more attention than before, remove every little thing that could make her go back to it, pray with her about it and she will eventually come out of it. If all fails, consult a therapist. 

    - Haolat Akeem - 2019-10-09 20:19:35 Quote

  • Quitting smoking and drinking is very hard, just be always there for her physical and I prayers too..

    Always tell her words of encouragement and always remind her of how much u love her

    - Obioma Veronica - 2019-10-09 20:28:46 Quote

  • Since she has tried and failed in many attempts, you guys should take another approach. Maybe come up with something like, anytime she tries to smoke or drink, she should slap herself or pay an amount of money or something like that

    If she sincerely wants to stop, she will

    - Chidi Wilson Okpara - 2019-10-09 20:30:13 Quote

  • The most important thing is she is making effort. If you love her like you claim you should help her through this.  Stopping a habit isn't easy so keep encouraging and motivating her and all will be well soon.

    - Christopher Peace - 2019-10-09 20:33:04 Quote

  • It takes a greater deal to stop that, but let me say it can be possible only by the help of God ,  for me, thinking of this u have to inform her about the imprecations of the bad habit of smoking and drinking of alcoholic drinks , like seriously I think if u love her u have to stick to her and educate her more and help her to believe that she can stop that.

    - Chukwukelu Chidera - 2019-10-09 20:36:17 Quote

  • You alone can't stop her from smoking and also drinking the best way is to take her to a rehabilitation center,that way she will hwt the best doctors and other physician to help her

    - Samuel Augustine - 2019-10-09 20:46:55 Quote

  • Try to reason with her if she will be able to change for me if u really love her don't quit the relationship between you and her just keep supporting her by prayers

    - OKHAKUMHE CLEMENT - 2019-10-09 20:54:27 Quote

  • This can be possible by the works of God.

    It's somehow hard to quit someone from smoking and drinking, but you too can still try your best by taking her for rehabilitation and consultation.

    Also, a perfect counselling can also help the situation.

    - Olojede Alamin - 2019-10-09 20:58:53 Quote

  • I guess she's addicted to that,and the only means to stop the addiction is to keep her busy with a lot of attivities.

    You must also restrict her movement, keeping her away from friends and changing location.

    And you can also pray for her till she stops

    - George Micheal - 2019-10-09 21:05:17 Quote

  • This is a very large deal to solve the quiting of smoking is as hard as chopping a stone but with God all thing is considered possible, only God can change her

    - innocent ucheego - 2019-10-09 21:06:35 Quote

  • To be frank with you, leaving an addiction is very hard especially when it's drinking and smoking. I was an addict when I was in school, smoking was like eating to me. At a time I wanted to stop but I see myself going back to it. It wasn't easy but I think the grace of God helped me and I tried as much as possible to avoid those things that will make me want to smoke or drink. 

    Both of you can do it, all you need to do is constantly checking on her whenever you're not with her. Try to make her see the side effects maybe it might scare her away from it.

    - Ikenna Henry Onyemekesi - 2019-10-09 21:09:40 Quote

  • Quitting that bad habit takes a lot of help. It ain't an easy task, and you can't expect her to quit it at once. Make sure she ain't in an environment where such substance are been taken. Encourage her from time to time

    - Alonge Iyanuoluwa - 2019-10-09 21:16:32 Quote

  • It's an addiction, and addictive habits take time to be stopped. 

    At least, she is willing to work towards stopping the habit which is a good decision.

    You both should keep trying, even if she backslides. With time she will be free. And I recommend you visit a therapist or go for rehabilitation.

    - Godspower Udeson - 2019-10-09 21:18:18 Quote

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