I and my girlfriend met at Ilorin Shoprite. It was love at first sight, she is so beautiful, well dress, decent and carefully made. I can not resist talking to her, after some minutes that I was using one side of my eye to look at her, I finally yield to temptation of talking to her. We talked for some minutes and after 5 months of asking her out. She accepted my love proposal but she made a statement that day that I took for joke. She said and I quoted ''Am a drama Queen and you will find it very difficult to cope with my attitude''
We celebrated three years of dating last month.I used to give her almost everything she demanded. She is a very responsible and decent woman her only but is that she is too aggressive. We don't use to quarrel but anytime we have misunderstanding, until she destroy expensive stuff,she won't stop being angry, no matter how I talk to her to calm down. The last time we fought until she smashed our only plasma TV on floor that was when she calmed down.
I really love her because if not for her aggressiveness, she is a wife material. How on earth will I marry someone that use to destroy my properties ? Or How can I marry and cope with wife that will surely destroy her husband properties? Should I leave her or I should stay with her?
PLEASE BE SINCERE
Have you tried talking to her about her attitude?. You are right to be concerned about marrying such a woman, but if you really love her, I think you should help her through these times. Seek advice from a health professional, it might stem from a mental issue. Also pray, a lot.
That's kind of a serious issue but I will say you should exercise more patient with her, pray along with her too because I'm sure she doesn't like such aggressiveness herself. I believe love can change a lot of things too but that's when correction is done with love.
For me, I'd say you should first check if you can change her. Talk to her about the behavior and give her time. Communication is key in a relationship so you might just have to let her know you don't like that behavior of hers.
My brother, first and foremost, you already loved her. It's not easy to break up a relationship that had already been built so as to avoid emotional trauma. Love covers a multitude of sins. Everyone has his or her own areas of weaknesses and it's only tolerance that can keep a relationship moving forward. I advise that you speak to her at her moment of calmness concerning the implications of her attitude.
In my own view.....She is someone who has a bad temperament and I think if you really love her, you can help calm her down anytime she gets angry and also you can talk to her about it....Or just try as much as possible to prevent things that wil cause misunderstandings among you two.
I'd advise you to forget about the woman, the signs are already showing, anger is very deadly, maybe one day when you get married to her, she will stab you during a fight before she calms down. Please talk to her about it, meet a psychologist, if matters are not met, please never marry her.
This is a very serious issue o. I think you should first of all talk with her about her attitude. If she doesn't yeild, then I suggest you take her for deliverance in a Bible believing church because I believe a demon is operating through her. It is after she has been delivered that is advisable for you to marry her.
It is normal for some ladies to be aggressive to their man.it only depends on the way you control her and reduce the way you get her angry.she may love you .I won't advise you to break up.just need to control and calm her down
Stay with her ,no body is perfect we all have our flaws and sometimes in life we need people or certain special personals to help us get through it and become a better us ,find a counselling center where she can get help.always pray for her and be patient,try not engaging her when she gets aggressive instead step out or take a walk.
Talk to her and make her understand that you don't like that side of her and try not to make her angry but that doesn't mean you should turn into a slave for her,but if you've tried to help her stop in every way and she's not even trying to show any concern on trying to change then I will advice you give her some space or better still help her look for help or you both should go for counselling
Every human being have weaknesses.individual weaknesses can turn to strength if one can allow God to crucify him or her to the cross.if you are sure that she's your future partner confirmed by God. you can help her in prayer and counselling. With time you we see her overcoming that weakness.
Anyways it is normal to get angry,even the Bible says we should get angry buh we shouldn't sin,so what u just need to do is that you should just be patient with her and continue praying for her if you are a prayer type,quitting won't provide a better one my brother, u may think it is but lemme tell you that even after you try that,you may not find a better one outside.. The best thing is just exercise patience and watch her if she would change.
The truth be told,been aggressive isnt something that started up a day,probably when she was at tender age it started and her parent didnt see it coming up,so what you should do now is sit her down,tell her you love her and let her know how you feel,tell her your pains,you can help her overcome it by making sure you avoid any mis understanding with her,when she is angry give her a tight hug,trust me at that moment all she might need is love.
Human beings are created differently with characters and so on. Women are like babies , be patient with her and continue to talk to her and pray for her to. And let her understand that the bible is against anger. If she allow her anger to be with her before sun set is a sin.
You need to be very patient, if you know you really love her you would have to help in solving her anger issues. It could even be a medical problem, like bipolar disorder and the likes. You could visit a therapist and psychologist who can help her manage her issues. Avoid quarrelling with her too, don't do or say anything that might infuriate her. Shower her with love too, you can also sit her down and explain how you feel about everything.
Some ladies are like that, some are even worst than her, and some are spiritual while some are psychological, so the most important thing is to be patient, talk to her on her happy day, also prayerful and be very close to spiritual pastor that can be of help, it's part of the sacrifice u will have to face for love
Sincerely I think you should stick with her.The reason is because woman are so wonderful that they can learn great things and as a man,you should be the one to patiently teach her how to overcome this aggressiveness..she might be aggressive because of her background and how she grew up.women are like children,they too can learn when you teach them.So stick with her and patiently teach her to control her aggressiveness.
I suggest that you should get her adequate medical attention, it is obvious that she has anger issues and should see the approiate medical authority. Since you really love her you should not give up on her so easily, you should also try and talk to her.
Kindly sit her down and in a romantic manner explain to her that you don't seem to be happy with her destructive attitude and you guys can both sort things out amicably instead of her smashing and destroying costly things
Seriously its not easy dealing with an aggressive girlfriend or fiance I suggest you first talk to her about her attitude and remember to always keep calm whenever you're talking to her because she might flare up at any slight talk. Talk to her with a calm voice I pray she changes.
i happen to find myself in that type of relationship before, you just have to be careful and watchful.
breaking up with her, she might try to do something weird. so just take your time and talk things through
If she's what you really want and you feel you can cope with her, then go for her otherwise take your leave bro. I'm sure there are many more beautiful ladies out there with aggression who don't destroy stuffs.
All you need to do is to be patient with her in other not to make things worse for her and if you think you cannot cope with her anymore you can get an apartment, but handle her with care.
I think to be on the balance side, you need to address the issue with her that such act of aggressiveness is undermining the level of your relationship with her. Be tender to her making sure you explained to details all that she needs to hear in order to avoid such habits from her.
You can't continue with such toxic behavior , you just can't, I would advice you to talk to her about the issue and wait for change ,but if you can't see any sign of improvement, you leave, simple!
I really think you should be patient and if you are a religious person I would advice you to pray for her. Also try to check if anything is wrong it may be that she's trying to communicate but doesn't know how to.
Firstly everybody needs to be understood, so you try to understand her, after that you have to reason with her, you should always be gentle with her, talk to her (heart to heart) ask her why she behaves how she behaves, but don't judge her, don't complain too, give her advice and gifts, if you do this things she will become cool.
I think you have a lot of work to do. Knowing her weakness means that you must not do anything that will make her angry and if she is what you really thinks you want just follow your heart and say ALL IS WELL
Be calm, this a critical moment, don't rush into marriage just yet, help her through, do your possible best. if you don't see any changes after those efforts, don't let your emotions controls you, Quit the relationship, don't marry a destroyer or else, you will end up not having anything to point to materially.
In one word, you as the man you need to be very patient, and to get her you need to know the way to pet her with what she likes most.
True love holds with patient and with that you will be able to sit her down and talk to her when ever she is happy.
Every person has their weak point and not until you get to her nerves I dont believe she will be aggressive for nothing, you as a man try to understand what makes her aggressive and try not to do it again.
Some girls don't like too much of play why some don't like surprise and if you are the type that likes surprising your boo try to stop it because by doing that you are getting on her nerves and she will get angry and become aggressive
If her aggressiveness is not something you can cope with, I will advice you quit the relationship, cos eventually she will become the mother of your kids and your kids will emulate such attitude from her... And won't want to be at loss of properties.
A lot of people moving on the street are not all that fine and mentally balanced, some of them are going through a whole lot and they only need someone to talk to and someone to hear them out, try and be patient with her and if there's a way u can invite a counsellor, she might be in need of one.
In this case you have to be patient with her , sit her down tell her with soft voice. Tell her how it really hurt you whenever she destroys things, tell her you really love her but she should try to always calm down when she's angry, make her smile at that moment ... And you won't also stop praying because prayer is the key to all problem
This will require alot of prayers ,patient and understanding. If you really love her talk to her about her attitude, you could also talk to health professional probably put her on therapy.
On my part i believe people that are aggressive always have a week spot and when they are in that state their anger tends to cloud their sense of reasoning and i believe dating for 3years you most know what that is. All you have to do is use that as an anchor, whenever she's angry gently appeal to her with it.
But mind you don't overdo it or intentionally get on her nerves because you know how to get her to cool off, with will slowly wear off.
Be patient with the girl she will understand you and teach her to be less aggressive let her know things you are not happy with and things you like commend her for things she did well and rebuke her in a lovely way not too harsh and you will get desired result
The best thing is for you to be patient with her. If you really love her then you have a lot of work to do on her cause people outside wouldn't caution her you have to caustion her and advise her always and also pray alot for her but you will exercise alot of patience. I'm sure with time she would change
Well,I know exactly what you're going through I have a boyfriend with anger issues as well.First and foremost,no one is perfect everyone has a flaw and no relationship is meant to be perfect,as long as you both love yourselves all you can do for her is be patient with her and learn to keep calm whenever she's angry and try to help her be a better version of herself, it's not easy but you have to assist her.
You'll stay with her if you love her. Just ensure you don't offend her and keep her away from things that might hurt her through you.
If you truly love her you'll always be fine with whatever she does and make sure she doesn't get angry and if she ever does that try to calm her down and restrict her from spoiling the properties
Don't try the idea of changing her because change is by choice you can't change someone unless he or she is ready to change. Better still you should study her more to know what makes her angry and how you can help her to control her anger if you really love her and want her to be your wife
She needs help on how to manage her anger. Also you should be wary of her. Someone who can do anything when angry can kill a person. You need to be sure that you're not going to be destroyed along with your properties. So its better you both resolve to find a way to solve this problem or you let her go for your own safety
Personally I feel you should find out about her past from her friends and why she’s like that so you’ll know how to handle it better or even better still talk to her friends about it, because if she hasn’t listened to you she and her friends start to talk about her same attitude problem and make it an issue it would get to her and whether it’s obvious or not she’ll think about it and even if it’s not immediate she will try to change for the better
From my own point of view, that her attitude is a matter of her up bringing I had a neighbor with same attitude but she only stopped when she made up her mind to do so, you can't change what she grew up with within a day, so if you love her find her weak point and hit it, she'll surely stop
Have you tried talking to her about her attitude?. You are right to be concerned about marrying such a woman, but if you really love her, I think you should help her through these times. Seek advice from a health professional, it might stem from a mental issue. Also pray,
Honestly you can still cope with her,all you need to do is to be cool,it not easy though buh with time she gonna change,dont just make it harder by shouting at her back,nd always remind her about her temperament wherever she is in good mood
At least you love her breaking up isn't really the best option
If you have an aggressive girlfriend I think first of all you learn how to cope with that first
Also talk to her about her attitude in a polite and calm manner,you can say it as a joke too
And most of all silents works too not everything she does needs your reaction sometimes just keep quite and walk away if she loves you she will change for you