My Mum Is Against My Relationship With Undergraduate Boyfriend

My mum have been teasing me about having a boyfriend since. She'll be like... When are we going to know that boy that is turning your head ?.

So earlier this month, she got to find out that I was dating this boy who was in a polytechnic. She told me straight up that she's disappointed. I asked her why. She said she wonders what I'm doing with a polytechnic boy, that I like bringing myself very low.

The thing is, my boyfriend actually tried to get admission but was not given. So instead of just wasting time, he decided to go to a polytechnic. But my Mum won't even hear of it, she wants me to call it off immediately and insists that she over her dead body for me to have any serious relationship, or marry someone that didn't pass through the university.

How do I get her to understand that I really love him and it's just admission problems that made him go to a polytechnic? 

Comments Reply
  • Your mum her self have she gone to school because I think its only parents who have not gone to school that usually have this kind of mentality. University or polytechnic all the same what you need is not qualification or certificate but real love. So tell that you are not after all these qualities she is talking about that what you care off is love of which you have found In him and stand by your word

    - BITRUS SALAMA BARAYA - 2019-09-27 14:26:32 Quote

  • Just make her understand the more. Love doesn't discriminate .No one knows tomorrow .He might be poor today and tomorrow he might turn out to be the dangote of tomorrow. I love Your idea sis but let your mummy know you really love your man 

    - David Agbaje - 2019-09-27 14:27:32 Quote

  • My parents have set too high a target for their children and it hurt some of them. What they sometimes forget is that the television can spoil but a person with vision will easily buy a new TV. The bottom line is that marry someone with vision and not one with television. It will take time but don't quit that relationship just because of what mom said. Just make sure that guy don't come around home but build together with him, very soon mom will appreciate him.

    - Oletu Cornelius - 2019-09-27 14:35:16 Quote

  • If her reason is because he went to polytechnic I think that's not a sold point and that shouldn't make her reject him. We are twenty first century now and things are changing fast. What's are guarantee that the one that went to the university will be the best for you or will even make it in life. People like Bishop Oyedepo, Sam Adeyemi and the likes attended polytechnic but today the story is different. My advice is for you to take out time and pray for God to touch her mind while he continue with his academics but I will not advice you break the relationship. Cheers!

    - Emmanuel Adewale - 2019-09-27 14:36:41 Quote

  • How old and you? what are you presently dping for a living. what time frame would it take hom to graduate before the relationship proceed to marriage? All this will determine if you will call it quite or not.  

    stand your ground on stand with your man, if you believe the guy has a future.

    - Anekwe Francis - 2019-09-27 14:39:54 Quote

  • Polytechnic or university dose not Matter at all what matter is what you can offer your  mother supposed to find out how this guy future is goin to look like he might be in polytechnic he will get a job that someone in the university can not get make your mother understand that is not all about the polytechnic or the university is all about what is in that person what the person carry

    - Miracle Boniface - 2019-09-27 14:41:42 Quote

  • Hmmm, this is really serious. This should not be happening in this 21st century, because to become successful, its not by the kind of school you go to. My advice is that, you should plea to her to allow you, if the guy truly loves you and you love him too. Only God knows the future.

    - OLAYODE OLAWALE - 2019-09-27 14:43:44 Quote

  • Wow! This is a case of making her understand.I will advise you to let her know that as a student of a polytechnic,he can switch to university later.Also,achievement is not by being a student of a university.You can convince her to see things in your way because the mistake some parents make is not letting their child get married to who they love because of status, education n so on. I am not saying to check out for that in a partner  is bad but at least the guy educated.

    - Akinpelu Christianah - 2019-09-27 14:47:06 Quote

  • Hmmm, I feel your pain girl, what I'm going to advice you to do is that you have to please your mom by dating someone that goes to university. Your boyfriend can just do direct entry into a university after ND1 and start 200lvl in a university so as to please your mom if he also feel the same way as you do.

    - Olaniyi Olamide Hannah - 2019-09-27 14:47:55 Quote

  • My sister marriage is not about graduate love is what matters in a friendship love is the best thing if you love the guy continue as you moved your mum won't choose a man for you because if you want to give her understanding he's just a little what that she can understand you but by keeping her selling she cannot understand your mind open up and tell her what matters in relationship is love what matters in marriage is love school matter does not contain in marriage by the union will call it either college or polytechnic it doesn't matters in marriage it doesn't matters in relationship open up to her

    - Nasara Victor - 2019-09-27 14:51:10 Quote

  • Too bad! Your mom seriously need education. So, some one who is in Polytechnic isn't a student? How are you sure you are intelligent than that guy? Please advice your mother. Being in University doesn't make one better than the other in Polytechnic. If the guy is a good person , move on. There's nothing wrong with you dating someone in polPolytech

    - Onwa Matthew - 2019-09-27 15:01:50 Quote

  • If you're in love with him just go on, no school is better than the other, school is not suppose to be the problem school is school if you love him go on with him. Your mother is not suppose to worry about it now its your choice.

    - Junior Louis - 2019-09-27 15:02:23 Quote

  • Why would your mum under estimate a guy just because he is not a graduate, though he might really not be a graduate but could have achieved more than a graduate, and could even be rich more than a graduate,and she should know that where her kid happiness  lies 

    - Adebayo Gbenga - 2019-09-27 15:22:27 Quote

  • Many have not gone through the university but are still rich, and also many are still waiting for the perfet time to get there admission. So what her mom dont understant is that when he is through with his poly he can get a work before getting direct entrance to the unversity. But the best thing is that let her list to her mom so that when she get married she can have a family, am saying these because mother's tongue is very powerful...

    - Jerry Bitrus - 2019-09-27 15:29:17 Quote

  • Well I think she is wrong, love shouldn't be based on ones education and education doesn't necessarily mean that you are gonna make it in life, it's just how you make good use of the knowledge you gained could be from anywhere, even from a news forum like this.

    - Otito Okigbo - 2019-09-27 15:49:49 Quote

  • I dont think there  is anyway to convince your mum. You guys are still young so i advice that you listen to her and call it off. You love eachother but you are still young. You can still keeo in touch and its not even certain that youwill marry eachother. So why would you want your mum to be dissapointed in a rrelationship that might not lead any where

    Think about it

    - Ifagbemi Toluwani - 2019-09-27 15:57:12 Quote

  • There is individual diffrences, your Mum addiction for graduate is solely her view. I'm of the opinion that parents should only give adversory council to their kids but not to be forced to obey them especially when it comes to issues relating to mariages. The fact that one is not a graduate or undergraduate does not means he would not excell in life. 

    Again, where is it on record that undergraduates have a better understanding of what love is all about. 

    - Akese Francis - 2019-09-27 15:59:07 Quote

  • True love conquers all difficulties and any and every opposing situations. your mum will have no options to let you two be when she sees that depite her warnings and threats, your love is formidable. keep hopes alive and dont deter from moving your relationship to another level. 

    - Chinonso Henry Ikueze - 2019-09-27 16:03:59 Quote

  • Well it is not a normal attitude to go against ones parent decision, but in some cases one have to, you have your own life to live dear dating a guy who is in polytechnic doesn't mean that you people can't be perfect. I can't adivce you to break up with him if he is a nice guy.

    - Adebayo Owoniyi - 2019-09-27 16:05:28 Quote

  • Dear.

    Your relationship doesn't need to make sense to anyone apart from you & your partner,it's not a community project, she's your mom no doubt but she's not in the right place to choose a spouse for you because,it's a matter of heart and with whoever gives you peace of mind, people will always talk but Las Las they will adjust..I'm going through same situation in my relationship presently,as long as he loves you and won't give up on you.  Live your life..

    - Emmanuel Mabel - 2019-09-27 16:06:40 Quote

  • See   my sister  you can't  follow  what  your Mum is saying if you truly love the guy you go for the guy. but you will inform your dad about it. if he say you should go for him. then you go for him 

    - Sarah Tom - 2019-09-27 16:11:36 Quote

  • Firstly been an undergraduate studying in polytechnic doesn't relates to love

      The fact is you can't break the friendship,love between you and your mum and also your boyfriend but surely if you guys gonna fit in to be together she will soon dance to your tune and stand as your backbone

    - Adeleye Boluwatife Joshua - 2019-09-27 16:23:57 Quote

  • It sounds bad to hear that. Why could she insisted that you can't married a polytechnic graduate. Does that mean anything with the love you have for him. We're talking about love. Try to confuse your mother to accept him. But if she insisted to that level of using her dead body may be you should quit and let your boyfriend know everything about it.

    - Wasiu Abiodun Adegboye - 2019-09-27 16:26:32 Quote

  • Will you enter the matrimonial home of your mum as your permanent home? If you see the relationship as right and godly relationship, then follow the leading of your desire and explain to her clearly plainly. That's just it.

    - Ezekiel Ifeanyichukwu - 2019-09-27 16:30:09 Quote

  • Just keep talking to her because once the boy begin bring money she go close mouth..Just keep trying to talk to her am sure she will give it a shot

    - Anthony Emeka - 2019-09-27 16:47:05 Quote

  • Then do what u think is right and try to confuse but don't 4get u will have to face whatever consequences u might find in the relationship on ur own.

    - Shittu Oluwadamilare - 2019-09-27 16:47:39 Quote

  • Be patient wit her n pray about it. Maybe he is not for u n God want to use ur mum to show u something. Or if he is for u, she will come around.

    - Victoria UMANAH - 2019-09-27 16:51:43 Quote

  • Your happiness should matter most to her, find means of expressing your feelings to you motheisaAnd if she still doesn't understand, please don't go against her because she is like a small god to you.

    - Lady Bhee - 2019-09-27 16:52:52 Quote

  • Try to make her understand what made the guy go to a polytechnic,  also make her understand that going to polytechnic does not mean that the guy will live a low life... These days degree doesn't matter.  Let love lead,  pray about it too. 

    - Ruth Oyeleke - 2019-09-27 16:54:03 Quote

  • You story caught my attention because I am a proud polytechnic graduate. It's really sad that your mum is in the same boat with many who think lowly of polytechnic graduates. I remember my industrial training experience in an IT firm. We were 5 IT students in the company and I was the only student from Auchi Polytechnic, the others were from different universities. As at the time I just had my ND while my fellow IT students had completed their 3rd year in school. I was outshone them in the course of our training and soon I was getting a higher pay. Sometimes, the MD would even pay me before he pays his staff and would often tell me not to let any of his staff know. I am not saying this to run university graduates down, but just to make a point. So your mum has a very wrong view about polytechnic graduates. Matters of love and relationship have nothing to do with whether one graduated from a polytechnic or a university. So long as you love the guy stick to him and get your mum to understand that you love him and his educational status as a polytechnic undergraduate would not make him a better or worse person.

    - Holly Okoro - 2019-09-27 16:55:40 Quote

  • As a matter of fact, relatiinships are grt. but if u are really in love with ur boyfriend, u should try and make ur mother see what u are seeing in him. 

    - silver chinedu - 2019-09-27 17:05:22 Quote

  • However, your mother meant good for you but gone are the days when parents decide whom their children would marry. If you really love the youngman, prove it to your mother and maintain your stand.  If finally you succeed in marrying him, never complain or look down on him because of his polytechnic qualification.

    - Nwokoukwu Jerome - 2019-09-27 17:11:24 Quote

  • You should focus on your studies now. Later you would be able to know what decisions as regards this situation. Just explain to him that you would like to finish school first and he should wait for you.

    - Ariyo Dorcas - 2019-09-27 17:14:17 Quote

  • Well i think it depends on how serious you are with this guy and if she sees you're not joking with the relationship and she gets to know the guy, i don't think there's anything wrong with having a polytechnic boyfriend, you just have to make her see the points in dating who you love and not about the institution he goes. 

    - oladokun Hassan olamide - 2019-09-27 17:23:16 Quote

  • Try and explain to her that the polythecnic is also a high institution and many people from there are doing well...

    It does not matter where one finished from but the end result

    - Joseph Tochukwu Ayogu - 2019-09-27 17:24:54 Quote

  • My sister, my best advice for you is to simply leave that guy alone as your mom said because if God forbid anything goes wrong in the relationship, the only person that can stand for you is your mom and now that she is against it. Pls desist from the relationships because mothers they say are th best counsellors or advisors.

    - Gbolahan Adebayo - 2019-09-27 17:29:24 Quote

  • Explain to your mother that you truly love him.make her see from your own point of view.The fact that he is in a polytechnic doesn't mean he won't achieve his dream or make it big in life.many people have graduated from university but still have no jobs.

    - Victor Anodoro - 2019-09-27 17:54:19 Quote

  • First, I will like to tell you that your Mother is only looking out for your interest here. But she has no right to explicitly tell you who or who not to marry. The fact that your boyfriend is an undergraduate right now does not make him less a man. He might be below your station in a way but since you love him, it doesn't really matter. Talk to your mother and try to see reason with her.

    - Aliyu Gana Aliyu - 2019-09-27 18:19:48 Quote

  • You been  in relationship with a guy in the polytechnic is not the determinant of love, feeling , financial excellence in life and destiny..

    You mum was wrong but all the same you are still under your mothers canopy. Make your decision but obey the instruction of your mother until the fullness of your maturity.

    - Megwa Augustine - 2019-09-27 18:19:49 Quote

  • Class sometime is not an issue.a the issue lies in the boy's preparedness for life.Although being an undergraduate can slow down your progress to getting married  because he will be without a job.But above all ,let God lead you.

    - Ogbu Gabriel - 2019-09-27 18:41:43 Quote

  • My dear,  all destiny lies in the hands of God, while you try to make your mum see reasons with you, present the situation to God in prayer, and I want to let you know that not even the type of school you went to will determine your level of success in life, whether the University or a Polytechnic. Thanks

    - Christogonus Uneze - 2019-09-27 18:46:41 Quote

  • What's your mum thinking? She that went through university, has she gotten work from federal sector? She must be sick and inconsiderate. So true love is involved, stick to the man because nobody knows tomorrow.. She should be talking about destiny not the school attended.. Follow your heart

    - Goldy Sussy - 2019-09-27 18:47:14 Quote

  • Well I think your mom is wrong. Going to a polytechnic doesn't make the future of the guy any less better than any university graduates . You should try to reason with her and make her understand love doesn't come for status fame looks.. Or your educational background love is pure and kind.. Love is beautiful  make her realize this don't stop trying but if after all this she still insist then obedience is better than sacrifice  .. Listen to her and obey her besides he's someone who you might not even end up getting married to God knows the best 

    - Goodness Onyeagoro - 2019-09-27 19:19:27 Quote

  • Hmm she might probably think going to polytechnic might make u poor or going to the university will make u rich or going to school as the case may be will determine how you are gonna be fortunate but she doesn't know that going to school doesn't mean you are gonna make it in life u need to tell her that school doesn't determine how you are gonna be rich or not it's only a stepping stone

    - ibikunle ibrahim - 2019-09-27 19:56:24 Quote

  • Try to convince her that " even a person that graduated from the best university in the world with FIRST CLASS " doesn't mean that he will be " The first class in life.

    Many people have started from Polytechnic and they are now a lecturers, some holding or being the CEO of some companies and some working with NGO, while those that have gone through the University where still there looking for the job. Shows her that starting from Polytechnic doesn't indicate that you will end up there!

    - Najib Sani - 2019-09-27 19:57:55 Quote

  • First, your mum isn't a bad person for doing that. So don't hold it against her. All you can do about the matter is to continue with the relationship and try to keep the details from her. As things continue to get better for the guy, she will automatically like him. It's not like he's going to be a polytechnic student forever. It's only a matter of time.

    - Ayodeji Akinoluwa - 2019-09-27 20:28:07 Quote

  • What is wrong with a polytechnic?some body that passed through polytechnic can go ahead to do his PGD  in university ,masters and probably what is wrong with the polytechnic must let your mum know that as far as the guy is good and have a nice future i don't see anything wrong with him.

    - Christopher Gwaze - 2019-09-27 20:32:38 Quote

  • I think it is time Nigerians stop the discrimination against on people who have a HND certificate because the truth is most people who attend stating greater heights than most people who have a Bsc certificate 

    And as for the fmgirl I think this is a point you have to make your mother see that you're now grown up and you can actually choose for yourself in delicate situations like this 

    - Agbozie Daniel - 2019-09-27 20:49:31 Quote

  • I will start by saying that am highly disappointed in the mentality many inhibits but the fact remains that we are talking about your future not hers and if she insist on dying then so be it because no one knows his/her destiny destroyer.

    - Obalu Johnkennedy Kenechukwu - 2019-09-27 21:07:44 Quote

  • You need to get your bf closer to your mum.He doesn't need to be perfect make her understand that it's the love that matters and moreso parents loves guys that are respectful, invite him over to your house and let him showcase his attitude and behavior to your mum,she will develop the likeness 

    - Owofadeju Desola - 2019-09-27 21:47:29 Quote

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