I have in a courtship with someone for four months now and every thing was going on smoothly not until the end of last month when he kept off for 3 days. I tried to call, text him but he didn't reply. One the fourth day he texted me apologizing and and asked me to promise him that I will never leave him no matter what before he could tell me why he had kept off.
Being that I truly love him, we share a lot in common and that we had reached somewhere, I promised him. Then he broke the news to me that he was going for an HIV test because he had met the mother of his one year old child in unhealthy condition.
He has always been open to me so after the test he sent me the result slip and my dears he was found positive. I had nothing to do but only to encourage and counsel him because since we met he has been telling me that he has no one except me.
And he is pleading to me not to leave him alone that we should go ahead with our plans.ie introduction and wedding. Guys am confused what should I do because this is about life..?
The issue of HIV is something else ,do you want to risk your life at risk because of love??you had better find a new partner that won't keep you on probation ..
Seriously I wouldn't tell you to leave the guy and I won't tell you no to Cus the issue is very complicated
I'm just gonna say what I would do if I was in your shoes..If it was me,I would have no option than to leave the guy though i love him But I can't afford to Carry HIV just because of love.. I can't just Do anything else than to just go
I don't want you to risk ur life for the sake of love, even in the future the guy can leave you alone and get married to another lady, nobody knows what the future can tell, so live him and look for another caring guy, that is my advice for you
This is really sad. You shouldn't abandon him because if this, you can still be his very good friend he needs your support now more than ever. If he truly loves you he won't mind you breaking your promise of keeping the relationship. He already knows you both can't work so he should let you go but never stop supporting him in the few ways you can.
Turn to God in this kind of time, he can do all things. HIV positive can be turned to negative easily by his power. Just run to him and have faith.You can't marry your fiance in such health state, unless you are ready to contact the disease for love. Don't run from your fiance just avoid contacting the disease in every way unless things turn good and be there for him. But you cant marry him
My advise for you is that you should think about your life than just the relationship you are into because if you end up marrying him that doesn't mean he won't still cheat we are all men and as a matter of fact your health is more important
This is an issue concerning your health. You need to be realistic. Even before marriage couples are advised to go for tests to ascertain if they are medically sound to come together. You love him yes, but if he loves you he should consider your safety first.
This is a critical situation that needs critical thinking. Emotions said, there are a lot of things one has to put into consideration.
As for me i will strongly advise you stay away from him. We are talking about someone that is HIV positive here. Marrying him is not the only way you could show support.
Considering the fact that you are four months into the relationship it will be easier for you to just let go. My dear you will definitely see someone who will love you as much and even more than he loved you so it's better you walk away now that you still can.
It is true that they are improving on the medications of HIV/AIDS and that you can have children with none of them with the virus. But, I'd rather think you are marrying this guy out of pity and it is not right. You have to think about 10 years after marriage and more. It is extra work marrying the guy. But if you feel like you love him so much then you can marry him. Don't marry him out of pity
I would advise you to put an end to the relationship once you get your test results and hopefully you are negative, there's no love here, use your common sense, thank you.
I’ll advice you leave because he started lieing to you right from the start,which means he can still lie to you,even when you both get back together.If you love him that much,you can accept him back.
Do you want to get married to him because of pity? I understand you are in love with him but believe me this is not the best thing. You are risking your life, your happiness. He made a mistake and now he wants you to face the consequences with him. That's not right.
My sister will don't marry out of pity, it a life contract it is very wrong for you to afraid from now the journey is to far my sister don't made a mistake that can affect your life in a terrible way, don't think about now but about your future, a wise man once said tomorrow is the best think wisely.
There is no use continuing that relationship because as it is widely known HIV is not curable and you getting married to him knowing that fact will put your future kids at risk, innocent souls that know nothing about it.
So my advice is to help him get through accepting it and focus on your life after that
Nahhhh.... You wouldn't want to marry someone who is HIV positive no matter how close you people are! Don't look at the present... Look at the future... Do you want your kids to suffer???
Please I would advise you not to go ahead with any marriage stuff... Prevention is better than cure.. I am not advising you to abandon him.. But you too need to be happy and have a happy healthy future with good looking kids ...so just be friends with him and look for someone else to spend the rest of your life with
Kind of difficult to decide, since there is love between you too, so if you love him and you don't want to leave him you can go on with the marriage and have children together, but if you know you can't you can leave and marry another since he has a kid now and the mother still alive, God knows best
If you really are in love with him..you can go ahead and marry him but before then you guys have to go for counselling,so they would explain things that should be done,what shouldn't be done,they would even counsel you on how to bed duties without you getting infected..
So Worry less!!but think and pray for God's direction if you should go ahead..God bless you
The best thing you can do is to show him love, you can't marry him. Marrying him would mean you can't have children unless you would like to become HIV positive too. If he truly loves you, he wouldn't want you to become HIV positive as he is too.
This is serious ooo...but first ok of all did he tell you about the child if so how come he has not been keeping in touch with the mother of the child for him not to have done the test earlier.
My sister I would advice you beg him to give up on you and move on and if you can't do that you have to find a way you will get the deadly disease from him and I don't think there is my way.......and come to think of it if you marry him and you both have it you will be e spending all your life earnings in the hospital.
Please be wise,don't be blind in love.
This is weird oh but its every easy you can't get along with someone that has HIV na if he was the one in your shoes he will leave u without thinking twice but haven't u being having sex with him. You should also check yourself too if you get positive result you two can continue together the Lord is your strength 💪🏻🙏
The situation here is about your love and your health.
If you know you can risk being positive and your love will override what ever comes up, you should go ahead.
But if you are not prepared or ready to live with that virus, then you should move on.
It all depends on you
Ma, HIV is no longer a scary thing as it use to be. Go ahead with your plans get married and both of you should be taking the ART drug as medically directed that's all. Statitics has shown that in the present day, HIV positive people live a long life just like normal people.
This is a life issue,your life is at stake here. In as much as you love him, you also have to consider your future.
I will suggest that you make him understand that you can't go on with the wedding arrangement.You should still be there for him.
My dear don't let him deceieve you. It is best you stay clear of the guy if you are feeling pity towards him because the end result of that kind of relationship is never pleasant
I don't advise you to marry him. health wise and social wise.....
1 .he is HIV positive,your life and your kids lives are concerned here and very much at risk..
2.he has a child and a woman(wife) still after..
Please love as a friend,but please don't marry him.to avoid regrets in future
I think you guys should see a therapist, so that the therapist will explain the situation you are about to get in thoroughly before deciding, and make sure you convince your folks too that if you Yb finally decide to go on with the marriage.
But do you know you can actually get married to a person with HIV
You guys just need to b very careful and follow proper medical advice.
Never to miss a medication and you'll see that your unborn children will be safe from the virus and he can live a normal life without escalating to AIDS
First of all you have to go for your own HIV test yo know your status . and secondly anything you are doing, always think about the future . are you not going to have babies if you decide to marry him ? If yes are you ready for the risk involved? Because you must surely contact HIV from him too
This is certainly one of the biggest decisions you'll have to make in your life but the truth is marrying him might just give u more heartbreak, such as giving birth anf to be honest with you he has a limited lifetime, you can choose to be with him and ignore all this, but it's better to face reality
My advice is for you to leave because men can't be trusted again..follow your instinct their are anti retro viral drugs of use that can prevent you from getting infected but as a concerned fellow just leave because he lied to you
Marry him if truely you love him, but do not marry him, if just because you pity him, if its so, you may never enjoy the marriage, however, marrying him doesn't make you a carrier, you too can still have fun and a whole lot without you getting infected nor your babies. Make up your mind on what next to do, and like you said, its about life.
Please all you can do is to encourage him to adhere to his drug regimen. As for the relationship, call it a quit. You'll find the right person someday. Don't marry out of sympathy, you can't deal with it .
My dear this one is strong oo but for me I won't advice you go ahead with that marriage cause if you are the one in that position he won't proceed with the plans, since you guys talk to to each other you should still be friends but if you love him that much u can go ahead .
Critically, looking at the immediate situation you logically don't have a choice than to let him go regardless of the emotional pain you both need to deal with. It has turned out that you are both medically incompatible. Hence, I would urge you to make the right decision for yourself. In addition, make sure you treat him humanely after the possible breakup because if you throw him out of your life like a piece of garbage, you might do him severe external harm and that could be even more fatal than the accommodation of a virus.
Hmm this is really though its your life we talking about here,just think twice before you take any step,it would be better if you move on with your life but you cant jus abandon him like that you could still be friends if possible..Tho love is blind and chances are being taken for love, its if only you can cope with then you continue with him
If am in your shoe my sister, I will have no other option than to leave him, cos this disease we are talking about is deadly and contagious. And I will let him know that if he need any other thing from me I will do but marriage NO.
Advice yourself, can you really cope with him with tat condition? Love is good but if you can't keep the love and feelings going, be a close and good friend and don't stigmatize him. Be cool to him.
This issue involve two things i.e health and love. Love, I mean true love is important in choice of marriage. Therefore my candid advise is that you should consult medical professional. This is because there's surely a medical way around it. This goes if you are truly in love with him.
For the few months you've been together with him if you've not had s8x with him fine, but if you have had unpretected s8x with him i will advice you also go for text too to be sure.
This is a tough one, the truth is that you both can't get married but you should still remain close friends with him, because he really needs a friend now that he knows so he doesn't feel rejected by everyone and commits suicidal acts
The feeling of love can seem very amazing and even overwhelming beyond one's comparison but at times the individuals need to use their intellectual thinking on what's going to be detrimental to their relationship. The lady and the guy might claim to love each other very much but if they end up getting married and then accidentally he transmits the HIV virus probably through his body fluid to his wife and she also gets pregnant and her baby contacts it, the whole situation would get worse, so it's better for them to avert a situation that they won't be able to handle to walking away.
To me staying with the guy is risk and same as leaving him because you may stay and at the end you end up being contacted positive and you may leave him and he may loose his life
This is some deep issue here oo... Leaving him cruel and not leaving him might mean risking your own life also... If you truly love him, and think you could cope with this,. I'd say you go for him, and God would definitely bless you both ... But also iono if you guys could bore a child... But I pray God direct you🙌
The feeling of love can seem very amazing and even overwhelming beyond one's comparison but at times the individuals need to use their intellectual thinking on what's going to be detrimental to their relationship.