My Wife's Sleeping Over At The Church So Worrisome! Advice Me Please

She has been a blessing to her congregation no wonder a lot of her church members call her Sister Goodness instead of her real name. I have no worries with that. Grace will sleep over till the next day in the service of God and would have little or no time to take care of her responsibility. Gradually, the maid has taken over duties as the lady in the house. I am not finding it funny any longer.

I have tried sit her down to share my feelings for her recent activities that has made me and my kids start seeing her as a stranger in the house but she will always say it is the will of God will works in God's vineyard to deliver people in bondage and those in various needs.

As if that was not enough, I have consulted also the pastor in charge to let him know my view on this but he repeated same as my wife that is the will of God.

Advise me now as your brother. What do I do in this regard?

I am not happy with the situation on ground.

Comments Reply
  • To me she doesn't know what she's doing Being in Christ or serving him doesn't affect your daily routine at home Please keep on calling her attention to that and if she doesn't yield to that try to reach his pastor Being a stranger in your home is becoming something else

    - Adeleye Boluwatife Joshua - 2019-09-25 11:29:07 Quote

  • Seriously, i honestly wouldnt like it either she is a married woman who has responsibilities to fulfill there are to serve God and there are time to serve your family and your self i dont think its a good thing sleeping at the church everyday. 

    - Adam Abdullahi - 2019-09-25 11:30:42 Quote

  • You marry her as your wife and am not saying she should not go to church .but she still needs to take care of her family because if you are working for God you still need to take care of your home. if she didn't take what you are telling her, take her to family

    - Erhieta Anthonia - 2019-09-25 11:39:06 Quote

  • Wisdom is profitable to direct. Your wife does not know what it means to do the work of God. she forgot to understand that That same God is very much interested in the family and her services to God starts from her home

    - Chimezie Anyiam - 2019-09-25 11:57:47 Quote

  • She got it all wrong by sleeping in the church always without attending to her family. Even if she got repented newly, the pastor should have guided her on how to serve God not abandoning her home, or is there something both of them are not telling you? Jesus said "if you love me, carry your cross and follow me". Not abandoning your family.

    - Favour John - 2019-09-25 12:13:21 Quote

  • Sleeping in church doesn't guarantee you are going to heaven its her responsibility to take care of her husband and children and that's not how to handle the work of God

    - ibikunle ibrahim - 2019-09-25 12:14:44 Quote

  • Your service to God starts from your home. Take care of your responsibilities at home, and let people around you see Christ in you, not sleeping in the Church and neglecting your duties as a wife and mother. Don't be surprised, if you found yourself in hell at the end of the day

    - Adedokun Olufemi - 2019-09-25 12:24:24 Quote

  • Your wife is getting it wrong, been busy for God does not mean she should neglect her home. Please if possible, get her this film "BUSY BUT GUILTY" to watch that should teach her leason and please be praying for her and yourself. May the Lord uphold ur home.

    - Seun Afuye - 2019-09-25 13:37:15 Quote

  • It is not good for your wife to be spending most of her nights in the church. She has responsibilities to you and the children that she must perform. You must make your stand and stop her from doing that too frequently, that does not mean that you are against the will of God. The Pastor encouraging such acts makes it even more suspicious, who knows what they are doing.

    - Aliyu Gana Aliyu - 2019-09-25 14:06:19 Quote

  • Even God will not be happy with her for abundoning her responsibility as a wife and mother to spend all her days in church. She has no reason what so ever to spend all her day in the church. Pls look for someone she respect to talk to her the pastor is just like her that's why he will say that ( he might be the one feeding her with those thoughts) so go to someone else like her mother. 

    - Idi Grace - 2019-09-25 14:42:18 Quote

  • Try to let her know that it's not until you sleep in church that you would be accepted by God,God would accept her work for him even if she does what she has to do at home and still go to church

    I think that would solve the problem

    - Success Odika - 2019-09-25 15:45:48 Quote

  • Working for God and taking care of the family are two different things, its very important to treat both appropriately and there’s no where it is written that you should serve God and abandon your family...poster you just have to sit her down and talk deeply to her, most importantly her children needs her

    - Bolanle Pedro - 2019-09-25 15:58:05 Quote

  • We shouldn't use working for God as an excuse to run from our responsibility. Taking care of your family is one if the second top priority after working for God. So keep on talking to her because God created man and woman to take of the responsibility together not alone.  

    - Nzomiwu Achiever - 2019-09-25 17:43:09 Quote

  • What your wife is ompletely wrong, because, church starts from home. If you can not have a successful home ; you are not even qualify to be an elder in the church.

    - Akume Emmanuel Aondofa - 2019-09-25 18:20:57 Quote

  • A person must learn how to balance the spiritual life and the human life. Being a Christian doesn't stop your wife from sleeping at home, she needs to learn how to be both a Christian and a wife. She needs to read the book titled "be human, be holy".

    - Paul Raphael - 2019-09-25 18:39:29 Quote

  • Serving God is good and being useful in His vineyard but from what you said ooo I think your wife has been brainwashed all in the name of serving God (I might be wrong oo)for the pastor also to make such statement and not trying to talk to her to balance it, there are lot of things happening in the church this days affecting and destroying people's lives, marriage and work. I pray you find your wife again.

    - Cecilia Tolulope - 2019-09-25 19:52:56 Quote

  • What she is doing is good,doing God's work and all but that shouldn't make her neglect her responsibilities as a wife and mother and also at home. There should be a balance,the bible is even clear on that also charity begins at home. I suggest you talk to someone she respects and would listen to and still talk her about how its affecting you and the children.

    - Shalom Michael - 2019-09-25 19:56:55 Quote

  • The first responsibility of any wife is to the man who married her. If she had wanted to be the will of the lord, it would be better for her not to have married. I think you should explain the side effects of her action to her and hopefully she would turn back and start doing her wifely duties again 

    - Victor Oladele - 2019-09-25 20:33:39 Quote

  • I think this may be a sickness. You need to take her to the doctor for diagnosis. You should also pray for her and your family at large. Again, I think you send that maid parking as that will make your wife wake up to her duty .

    - Onwa Matthew - 2019-09-25 20:48:05 Quote

  • Will of God is good but it came late, she would have started earlier before marriage. My advise is tell your wife to choose one in between two whether to stay in the church or come and be mother of her children and husband if she chooses the opposite let her pack to her church and bring another that will help you and your children.

    - Alex Gabriel - 2019-09-25 21:00:07 Quote

  • This is really serious,your wife is really not doing good with that.even the bible says it,wife's should be submissive to their husband not their pastor

    I think you should inform her parents on this issue and know what would be the out come

    If she do not change,then you should change to her totally in the house and then she would realized her mistakes

    - Idiris Opeyemi - 2019-09-25 21:07:27 Quote

  • Why is she playing with her marriage like this, hmmm only God can help you,keep on calling she will one day answer your call,but how sure are you she is sleeping in the church? Let it not be that she is using God's work as an excuse

    - Deborah Stephen Laiko - 2019-09-25 21:44:55 Quote

  • Working for God does not mean you should neglect your duties in the house as a man or as a woman. Infact it is one of God's laws to always perform whatsoever duty you ought to perform at home.

    I'm not saying it's not good to work for God, but don't let it affect your home as well. The Pastor that is even supporting her don't he have a wife? 

    - Oluwadarasimi Stephen - 2019-09-25 23:02:58 Quote

  • This is worrisome because it's like being rival with God which is a bad tbing. Anyway I will like to believe that she knows the scripture well enough to know a wife has to durt to her home her husband and children so she shouldn't kwt that come in the way of managing things between church and her household. But talk to her about this and if no changes then talk to the pastor as well 

    - Saka Adefemi - 2019-09-26 02:56:31 Quote

  • Even God knows she has to perform hr duties as a wife to avoid the devil into the home. Staying at home with you doesn't stop her church activities and if she first stop this on time, then I suggest you let her know what eyes you are about t take regarding the marriage before you commit a sinful act. 

    - Abdulmaleek Habib - 2019-09-26 03:07:38 Quote

  • Both your wife and the pastor doesn't know what they are doing, I will advice you go and report your at appropriate quarter such as your own family and her own parents lf they still alive if not see any of her family members and explain what their dughter was doing these days and also try to drag her away from there if you truly love her before the pastor snach her from you

    - Okunloye Kehinde - 2019-09-26 03:23:57 Quote

  • A married woman sleeping in church against the will of her husband? I don't think God supports that. She has to make peace with her husband first. There are other ways to serve God, its not by sleeping in the church. Is she the presiding pastor?

    - Joachim Ojimesike - 2019-09-26 07:38:12 Quote

  • You are the head of the house and not your pastor,so she should listen to you

    Make her understand that she does not have to forfeit her duties for God's work and thats not also the will of God

    And talk to someone superior to her that she listens to,i guess it would help

    - Jael Orji - 2019-09-26 08:02:02 Quote

  • You are serving or want to serve God does not mean you should leave your duty at home. That's not an excuse. Even the Bible tells us the quality of a good wife and what she is doing is completely off key. She is laying grounds for adultery if she doesn't know. And the pastor is wrong in saying such. Not all pastors are matured enough to deal with certain issues. Pls talk to an elder to help you out. Let them sit her down and tell her her responsibility.

    - Blessing Oshinor - 2019-09-26 08:25:09 Quote

  • You must need to go  and meet her pastor .tell the pastor you and your children have started seeing your wife as a stranger.i know if he's true pastor he will caution her.and she will mind her business.

    - Christopher Gwaze - 2019-09-26 10:56:33 Quote

  • How does taking care of your husband and kids or doing your wifely duty won't help you serve God  properly, so she rather sleep at the church, even the Bible said a wife should submit to her husband...you have to talk to her oh, invole your both parents and elders so things can change.

    - Ebiloma Victoria - 2019-09-26 12:49:21 Quote

  • I think this is not right,for a married woman to give all her duty to the house maid in the name of church,you really need to report this to her parents before things could go worst

    You have to change to her totally in the house so that she would no its not right at all,even the bible says it that wifes should obey their husband and be submissive in all ways

    - Idiris Opeyemi - 2019-09-26 14:02:59 Quote

  • The best you can do as the husband is to call her to have a one one one talk with, tell her there is time to everything and make her understand that God told the women to also respect their husbands

    - Rafiu Azeez - 2019-09-26 21:21:33 Quote

  •  God is not the author of confusion. It's a very good thing for her to be working for God but, charity begins at home. If I am her husband, I won't tolerate that and the issue of sleeping in the church, is very shameful for a woman of course. The pastor or an elder should be in the best position to advise her.

    - Daniel Joseph Obianusi - 2019-09-26 21:33:10 Quote

  • Can God will bad to you my brother. Is all women in the church doing this. No, which means she wants to turn to another thing. You need to warn and sits her down again not to lose her marriage.

    - Wasiu Abiodun Adegboye - 2019-09-26 22:37:16 Quote

  • Serving God does not mean that she will neglect most of her duties as a mother and a wife. Bringing up children in the way of the Lord is the most appropriate thing to do rather than sleeping in church and trusting her maid to carry out all her responsibilities . She will regret it sooner or later. Note - I am not against her service to God .

    - Ndaw Arit - 2019-09-27 10:55:35 Quote

  • To me every good thing need prayer and also when things are not going well pray to God and he will change her for better because as a house wife church activities should not disturb home responsibility as a house wife 

    - Oke Olawole Luke - 2019-09-27 12:30:39 Quote

  • I believe that she is doing the work of God, which is the primary duty of all human, but leaving your family and not doing your responsibility as a wife, you have failed completely. And you are destroying your family by yourself. 
    My brother please be strong and be courageous don't give up keep fighting by taking to her and by prayers 🙏 God will see you through.

    - peter okpe - 2019-09-27 12:37:08 Quote

  • Since you've tried speaking to her and the pastor and they don't want to listen,go to the elders of the church,meet people in her group and complain. She can't tell you that it is the will of God because God has said it that a woman should be submissive to her husband. I'm sure the pastor wouldn't be smiling if he's his wife does something similar 

    - Banigo Tamunomieokomibi Rowland - 2019-09-27 19:20:01 Quote

  • for me I think you go to the pastor of the church,meet people in her group and complain,because God does not says you should leave your duty at home. That's not an excuse at all.but as for the husband don't give up keep fighting by taking to her and by prayers  God will see you through

    - olalekan Adetutu - 2019-09-27 21:03:54 Quote

  • My advise for you is to first of all investigate whether she is actually doing the work of God or work of pastor. After your investigation you will make sure that you have a concrete evidence based on your investigation. Then if she is actually working for God with time the burden will be less then she will continue to take her responsibilities.

    - Agbo Mmaduabuchi Ali - 2019-09-27 21:09:33 Quote

  • Well I call this, wrong definition of understand why is because she is misinterpreting her purpose and will of God. If you are not ok With it like you say, called her in and caution her make her see reason that have absence is notice, go and get her a job so she will be busy

    - Akujieze Franklyn - 2019-09-29 09:44:25 Quote

  • God can not call you to serve him and leave your family duties behind. Your wife doesn't know what she is doing to her self. For me, I will Advice you, just buy the gifts that you use to buy for your wife and give it to your maid in her presence in form of pretence, She will come back home and you. Collect it and give to her and she will get back to  her senses. But tell your maid about the deal before carrying it out.

    - Odinakachi Obaji - 2019-09-29 15:50:20 Quote

  • Even the bible made us to understand that there is time for every thing

    So I guess you take immediate action to that

    report her to her people and if she continue may be she should go and live in that church

    - Patrick Juliet - 2019-09-29 18:01:02 Quote

  • Bro my pastor don't support this oooooo even if he keeps night pray for women he say tell your husband if your don't allow you to come don't come, because he sees reason of wife obeying their husbands,so tell her people about it oooooo before it gets out of hand

    - Emem Edem - 2019-09-29 19:28:10 Quote

  • Our God is not an author of confusion, He created the institution called marraige for co-habitation and not for division. Sleeping in the church has no spiritual backing whatsoever and in the most part leads to numerous other sins and problems in the home. Now assume your made is hot and you are a promiscuous man, then the rest is history

    - Adjekofori Faith - 2019-09-30 18:23:29 Quote

  • You should call her attention to it that she is needed in the house as the mother of the house, she should let her children feel the love of having a mother. Or better still, the husband should go report her to the pastor of that church, so the pastor can talk to her and make her understand that there is time for everything. 

    - Akanni Awawu omolara - 2019-09-30 22:56:33 Quote

  • You need to make her realise she can worship God and as well take care of her responsibilities as a good wife and a mother. We as christians are actually not too good at these things. A child needs her mother and a husband need his wife to be there with him. God gave each person his or her responsibility to live, flourish and take care of family. I hope she realises soon that her family needs her and not the maid. 

    - Subomi Oloyede - 2019-10-01 01:06:07 Quote

  • Actually, she is not supposed to neglect her duties as the wife and mother of the house. She should find a way to balance her work with God and to do her work in the family. She shouldn't have gotten married if she knows she wants to be with the Lord always. Thats why we have sisters who are married to God.

    - Olanrewaju David - 2019-10-01 10:52:32 Quote

  • Don't be angry with your wife cos she's serving God, just call her one day and sit her down. Talk to her with love and beg her to not allow it to affect your marriage

    - Oluwaseyi Ajeniyi - 2019-10-02 21:48:53 Quote

Others are reading