When two people who used to be lovers break-up, there is always a kind of feeling, attitude, mindset that follows after for some days or weeks or even months for that matter. These feelings usually result in two things, either these use-to-be lovers make up or break-up. Now, depending on what they both Want, they will both channel their thoughts the way they want.
It is the belief of some people that ladies have it bad after a break up while guys don't have it that bad that much, that is not very true. Both parties feel the after-effect of a break-up, except if they do not love each other initially. Now, if adequate care is not taken, break-up can affect people do much that they anticipate, it can go a long way to cause emotional, physical and even psychological breakdown or even worse. So what should each individual do after a break-up to ensure that there are no stories that touch.
1. Both parties must be sure of what they want
When most people break-up, they can't even explain what happened. There are people who break up and that is the end of it, but the truth that can not be denied is; if there was actual love initially, there is a very high tendency that both couples will reunite.
Love is more than a feeling when it becomes real, it's not just a smoke that fades away after a small breeze blows it away, except if it was never real initially.
Both individuals must define their stand, be sure of what is happening and what they expect; if the case warrants that you no longer stay in church, then so be it, if it warrants that y'all remain friends, then so be it. It is not nice to be unsure as far as breakup is concerned.
2. Forgive Yourself
No matter what happens, no matter the decision both parties take, no matter the result of the actions you both took, you must learn to accept what is served to you. When there is a break-up, don't go about being the saddest in the middle. You can be sad alright, you can miss the good times; you can miss the kisses, the sex, touches, dinners, movies, it's totally okay and normal, but remember, you broke up for a (good) reason. Trust yourself, believe that you did the right thing, believe that you did what was best for you and your use-to-be lover. Don't go about beating yourself up because you were not sure of the action you took.
3. Forgive your partner
After a break-up, regardless of the reasons, some people believe that it is "maturity" to keep in touch and not a grudge, but is that really true? Do you break-up and then laugh it off and just act like nothing happened? do y'all just swerve from being lovers to friends? No, that's not true. When a fight or infidelity or any kind of argument leads to a break-up, someone or both part is always at fault. Fights and arguments don't just ensue from the sky, it must have been caused by someone, so having said this, do we just greet each other and say "we are just friends now, nothing more" no. Forgive each other, let everything slide, make a new state, and you never can tell, new notes may appear on the slate.
4. Get back your single life
Before you got into a relationship, you were single and you lived a single life before you were "taken". Before you said "yes" there were things you did then that gave you joy. Now, some folks become a sadist after a break-up because they think their source of joy has just left them. Did you Now have fun before you become someone's boyfriend? Did you not enjoy life before you became someone's girlfriend? Learn to live your life!
People tend to be sad because they don't want people to think they didn't feel the effect of the break-up, but I say it's a break up and not a divorce for God's sake!
Take yourself to the movies, go to the beach, go back to your normal life.
These are the few things that are usually attached to breakups and here are some easy steps to recover after a break up.
Yeah! it is not easy to handle break-ups but certainly there is life after the incident. I think a good way to handle it is to resolve to forgive the other person, forgive oneself ( stop blaming oneself) and decide and dertermine to move on with life and resolve to be happy no matter what happens to you.
Moving on from break ups can be hard, for some people. But its important to note that, the past is the past. We shouldn't allow it to define us. Get something doing, make friends, enjoy your single life, work on yourself and plan to be better. It's not easy but it's not impossible. Take the baby step and move on. Don't hold yourself back