Religious Discrimination: My Parents Disapproved Our Marriage And Get Her Arrested

My name is Olamilekan, Two years ago I met a wonderful woman who happens to be a Christian Tayo by name and 100% she is not ready to covert to Muslim but we truly love each other and agreed to marry each other. We feel it’s time to tie the knot, I have never been particularly religious, but my family is Muslim and they want me to marry a Muslim sister but I cannot do that because i truly love her and she always there for me when I need her most.

One day I introduce her to my parents and they said that can not happen when they are still alive, i was frustrated so I have to beg my lover and promise her things will work out just little time needed to solve this with my parent and we both continue our love affair, few days later I got a call from his brother that she was arrested on her way to office and information reached this brother that is from my parents.

Now she have to sign she will not move close to me and move on and stop dating me, so am confused and I dont know what to do.

I need advice and opinions on what to do about it 

Comments Reply
  • That's a very difficult issue to let go actually since it is something pertaining to love.

    But your religion and parents are very important regarding marriage.

    If she is worth disowning your religion and parents for,that's gonna be the solution.

    But you people we have to be sure that you truly love yourselves to take the risk.

    - Gabriel oryiman - 2019-09-16 02:58:34 Quote

  • Some times in life one needs to be watchful of his or her decision, one should'nt be blinded with the so called LOVE, some times it is beyound that. This religion issues when it comes to marriage, has always being a challenge as it hardly works out as 80% of such cases end up hurting people around and also those involve. Though is a matter of choice, but simple obedients they say is better than sacrifice.

    - Joseph IBOK - 2019-09-16 05:59:01 Quote

  • If you truely love her, go to the station were she has been taken to and confess your love for her in the present of the police and also your parents.

    It's your time now to prove your love for her by stopping the occurrence of her not signing the deal of your parents.

    - Samuel Okon - 2019-09-16 07:13:35 Quote

  • Since it has gotten to that are man enough to dialoque with your parents.explain to tbem you really love the girl and you want to spend the rest of your life with her.and show them that they are married and no body forced them on  each other .tell them you are the one to live with the girl and  not them.they may finally think about it.

    - Christopher Gwaze - 2019-09-16 07:19:41 Quote

  • This issue is pathetic but you guys should try and take things steady because you yourself cannot love yourselves alone. You have to carry along the families of both sides but since the issue is like this, I think what will be will surely be

    - ADEJUMO ADEWUMI - 2019-09-16 07:54:30 Quote

  • I think you have to beg your parents and make them see reason with you that religion is no barrier to getting married. If possible go find an Islamic scholar to help you make the see reason.

    - Muritala atensinse - 2019-09-16 07:55:02 Quote

  • Our views and stake on Religion makes us to go astray.. But the fact is that, What God joined together, no man can put assonder... if its the will of God for you all to be together, it will surely come to pass,, all you need is prayers

    - Shedrach Barau - 2019-09-16 07:55:20 Quote

  • Truly religious and ethnic discrimination is a factor that has hindered many marriages in Nigeria. It is said that when you get married to an African man you get married to his whole family and that is truly what we practice here. You just have to find a way to reconcile your family and your intended partner but if it doesn't work, you can always get married in court 

    - Virtue Azuka - 2019-09-16 07:55:28 Quote

  • Say no to religion discrimination. In this case, you will have to make your best choice, although, it may seem complicated.

    You have to regard your parents in any situation, because they know what you don't know but it's your life so go for love and happiness 

    - Adediji Eniola - 2019-09-16 07:55:50 Quote

  • It all still comes down to how Strongly you feel or love each other. 

    If you are alright and you both know that even after your family throws you away you would be able to still say you love each other and go through everything together then its fine.

    Love is very important and you'd still leave your parents in future one way or another.

    So my advice is to get her say in this and tell her what you have in mind before you both come to a conclusion and make a decision.

    - Efoke Nestor - 2019-09-16 07:56:12 Quote

  • Parents are always very sentimental when it comes to these religious values, but if you love her you should let it lead though. Pray on it and God will always lead you onto the right path for sure.

    - Omosivwe Jonathan - 2019-09-16 08:00:29 Quote

  • Love conquers all things. If she makes you happy and you feel she is irreplaceable then go for her. The truth is that you are not going to marry your parent. They will not be there for you at all times but she will be there for you. Sit down and weigh both side of the issue. Go for the one that has long time benefit.

    - Peter Akpogbuwe - 2019-09-16 08:02:09 Quote

  • Mr Olamilekan you see you cannot go against the wish of your parents.

    I will advise you to go and explain to your parents and try to convince them to see reasons that it is your life affair and not religious issue.

    You and the girl should go for a break and resolve the issue before you can proceed with the relationship.

    - KENDIMMA YIKOP - 2019-09-16 08:04:30 Quote

  • First and foremost, I'm sure you are old enough to make decisions for yourself. What your parents actually did by arresting her was'nt reasonable enough because you are the only one that can decide what you want and who you want to marry. If you are truly in love with her, once she's bailed out, you should opt for court marriage without your parents consent and adopt another parents. Your parents shouldn't decide your marriage for you as long as you have feelings for her. 

    - Jimoh Abdulrahman - 2019-09-16 08:04:33 Quote

  • You have two options either u let her go n move on or u have to disown ur pple n follow ur heart. You have to be sure you love her enough n she's worth disowning ur family or u let her go n u have to be sure u won't regret letting her go. Is her family cool with her becoming a Muslim?

    - Divine Dimkpa - 2019-09-16 08:09:09 Quote

  • Do not dis obey ur parent!! I repeat,  Do not disobey ur parent!!!  Because since the lady isn't ready to convert,  u shouldn't bother urself feeding urself with love that's not real.. . What ur parent want for u is the best,  an obedient and submissive wife... If u go ahead to marry a Christian thats not ready to practice ur religion she will convert u in no time and that's what ur parent are avoiding because they know the power of LOVE.. .  So pls do what will make ur parent happy with you,  do what will make their blessings always be with you and don't disobey them because of any thing...  Their love for u will always be the Realest and True Love u can ever have. 

    - Yussuff Moriam - 2019-09-16 08:09:16 Quote

  • In this case, I think it will be best to let go of her to save her from more sufferings from the hands of your parents. Then if you can convince them to allow you to follow your heart then so be it, but if not let her go completely. You love her so I don't you will love to see her suffer by your parents hands. 

    - Sarumi Peter - 2019-09-16 08:10:27 Quote

  • This a serious case. It is so obvious that you really love this girl but your parents don't want you to marry her due to her religion and that's a serious problem. Most parents takes that religious matter so serious and the don't want any other person with another religion to get married to their son or daughter.

    The only thing you can do is to take it to God in prayer so there will be a solution.

    But if you wanna go for her, then you must be ready to bear the consequences . 

    - Adekoya Ayomide - 2019-09-16 08:11:18 Quote

  • But how long will discrimination and intolence hinder  us from  moving forward?i fill decision on marriage should be taking solely by the two intending couple since marriage is between  two adults not children.religion is a way of life thst should better our life not to destroy us.parents are to guide not to dictate to their children 

    - Ibebunjo Funmilayo - 2019-09-16 08:13:58 Quote

  • Love is the center of it all, as far as Love exist you have nothing to fear,is not your parents that will make decision for you because you be the one to marry not your parents and spend all your life with her 

    - Peter Ekanem - 2019-09-16 08:17:43 Quote

  • Love is the center of it all, as far as Love exist you have nothing to fear,is not your parents that will make decision for you because you be the one to marry not your parents and spend all your life with her 

    - Peter Ekanem - 2019-09-16 08:20:53 Quote

  • We become victims of our very own choices and you should know that. If you truly love her and can't protect her from external constraints, then I'll say you are less of a man. Note that marriage is for a lifetime and if you lose the right person... prepare for the wrong person.

    - Radiance Abraham - 2019-09-16 08:21:43 Quote

  • Well it's disheartening to listen to such stories.though I won't totally disagree to marriage of this type, except in the opposite.Your parents are trying to look at the future more cautiously but they went too far.

    - Shaibu Abdulbasit - 2019-09-16 08:23:10 Quote

  • So frustrating but you both has to understand that family approval matters a lot in marriage issues..  Just try talking to your parents but if they should insist then,  she (your lover)  has to understand the danger of getting married to a family that doesn't like you 

    - Kennedy Onyebuchi - 2019-09-16 08:23:22 Quote

  • Honestly your parents went overboard to arrest her but what i want to know also id that does it mean her parents are in support because if they are they could also talk to each other as per they are adults. Please don't make decisions that are wrong just try to settle down and discuss with your parents.

    - Ooreofejesu Olubunmi - 2019-09-16 08:23:27 Quote

  • You are old enough to make decisions for yourself and what your parents did is very wrong.You should fight for your love since it s coming from your side.

    - Lilian Naomi - 2019-09-16 08:25:17 Quote

  • I just disagree with this. It is so unfair love is stronger than all it is not written in the bible that way.. God have mercy on this people. It is so unfair to arrest a Christian woman like that..

    - Ifeoluwa Emmanuel Owolade - 2019-09-16 08:26:00 Quote

  • This Is a serious challenge and I dont blame your parent because they understand the concept of marriage and love alone cannot keep a marriage, commitment, understanding, doing things together are part of what keep a marriage... So religion is part of it, look into the future, and see if you are still going to be perfectly cool with her religion and when you guys start having kids?... So those are what your parents are looking at..

    If you are convinced, then sit your parents down and get an elder to talk to them else, look for another Muslim sister that will take your breath away

    - Ayankoso David - 2019-09-16 08:31:52 Quote

  • This is a great risk two of you will be ready to take if you truely believe you love and have feeling for each other. It is not going to be easy. Now if she never want your religion but you love her, then you have to accept her to the detriment of your parent decision.

    .Remember it is your life, you gona live with her the rest of your life.

    If you ready to disregard your parent religious sentiment toward your marriage, then be ready to burn the bridge behind you and take the bull by the head and break it....God bless yoi

    - Megwa Augustine - 2019-09-16 08:34:41 Quote

  • The issue of religious discrimination is becoming alarming in Nigeria. For Christ sake, we all serve the same God. Let's stop destroying marriages all in the name of discrimination.

    - Onwukeme Juliet - 2019-09-16 08:43:47 Quote

  • One of the things that makes love to see and not blind is religion, others may be character, ethnicity and what have you. Religious descrimination is recorded on daily basis whenever it's time for lovers to join hands in marriage and should be addressed in a circular country like Nigeria.

    - Michael Eboh - 2019-09-16 08:45:44 Quote

  • Religion is a key thing in marriage. Talk and beg your parents to accept. Also, take a critical thought on it. When children starts coming whose religion would they choose. It might seem like something easy now but might turn out difficult later.

    - Joyclyn Ogbonna - 2019-09-16 08:46:23 Quote

  • You have to sit down and think... Which is more important... Your love for her or your religion... Don't forget that even our religion preach love and peace... If you think you love her enough to sacrifice your religion then fight for her. 

    - Rachel Olajide - 2019-09-16 08:52:18 Quote

  • What you should do is to keep trying.. The more effort you out in the relationship will make her see the other best in you... For the religion, religion is a mask, it isn't gonna determine who you'd spend the rest of your life with.  Its a practice on knowing who God is and who you could run to in terms of troubles, happiness. Second, talk to your parents make them understand why you want to marry her, make them understand that they won't regret ever allowing her become their daughter in law.. You make them see the good in her.. Try your best and wishing you best of luck in that

    - Idris Maryam - 2019-09-16 08:52:45 Quote

  • What's even wrong with people, what has religion got to do with love affair, so this two love birds have to go through pains because they love each other, this is not fair. 

    - Richard Ngirigwa - 2019-09-16 08:55:27 Quote

  • Religion is one important factor to be considered when choosing a partner. You have to beg, talk to your parents to see reasons with your actions. They aren't the one that will marry you. Parents at some point should understand and try to give their children freedom to marry who they love. 


    - Venus Joseph - 2019-09-16 08:58:40 Quote

  • Religion is vital when getting married and you can not go behind your parents to get married. So I advise you make your parents understand why you want this lady 

    But if they disagree, pls let go and marry from your religion because for marriage to work, both families must be in good terms

    - Maureen Okoh - 2019-09-16 09:01:16 Quote

  • It is very uneducated for the parent of the groom to take religion as a bridge in between the couple's.

    For God sake irrespective of the religion so far as there is love,peace  and harmony then why stopping them from getting married and even go to an extend of arresting the girl, that's very bad, those kind of parent are to be sue to Court.

    Let love lead!

    - Abdullazeez Abdulkareem - 2019-09-16 09:06:45 Quote

  • See from my own little knowledge I first you should look for a lawyer who will come and defend her and get her bailed out of the Police station, so that she will not sign the agreement, secondly sit your parents down at that very moment get them what they like eating the most it could be, their best fruit, food etc then lie down flat before them and with tears beg them and make them to understand how much you love each other, let them know that it not proper to let religion discrimination to affect your relationship etc. But after that if they insist u guys can go ahead and do Court wedding in as much the Pride family accept you then u are good to go and above all pray intensively to God to have is way.

    - Yusuff Lateef - 2019-09-16 09:09:28 Quote

  • The mentality of these African parents at times doesn't make sense, why will they go on arresting the poor lady all because she's in love with their son, is it a sin to be in love with other religions, in as much we are serving the same God, I don't see anything wrong with their relationship 

    - Israel Osanyinjobi - 2019-09-16 09:09:59 Quote

  • Brother if you truly love her then the document she signed will not be in play. Sincerely you're the one that will marry her, not your patents the once that called the police. You need to man up and face your parents now if you absolutely want to be hundred percent in charge of your life, marriage and family. Take for instance, Bola Tinubu is a Muslim and his wife is a Christian, but they have been married for quite a year. Religion is not a barrier to marriage, just that some people are extremely biased when it comes to faith.

    - Brown Sugar. - 2019-09-16 09:13:21 Quote

  • Your parents went too far by arresting the young lady, all i can tell u is to follow ur heart and stand your grand, after all u won't leave with your parents for the rest of ur life, they won't choose ur happiness for u cause they don't know how u feel, just pray that everything will work out fine

    - Precious Azunwo - 2019-09-16 09:14:24 Quote

  • Firstly if you love her as much as you say, here some things you should think about doing:

    1. Try hard to convince your parents, because if you love your parents too, You'll want your parents blessings.   

    Except you're planning to runaway with her.

    2. If the first part is not okay by you, then you should just let her go. Because if you love her you won't want your parent or any body to do her harm. Because from the way things are looking your parents won't stop  disturbing her..

    A question I have for you is this:

    "Are her patents in support of your marriage?"

    - Reuel Northcott - 2019-09-16 09:15:00 Quote

  • Can you protect her from your parents, because they could send her to actual prison if after signing she's seen with you or she remains locked up if she refuses to sign. Love isn't enough in thus case, you need to talk to you parents. This arresting has made the thing worse because her parents will object now as well! 

    - Oladoja Olabimpe Rachel - 2019-09-16 09:15:47 Quote

  • This is too aggressive from her mum's side but I believe she will have more to say about her act. All the same its too grevious, I will advice you remain patient for her and her family, if you really love her and you ve not done bad. All will be well.

    - Jesujuwonlo Oni - 2019-09-16 09:15:54 Quote

  • Marriage is not all about love, there are a lot of things to consider before marriage things like compatibility. Religiously you are not compatible for each other and truly if you love her as you claim, you let her go and find another love since her life is now in danger because of you.

    - BITRUS SALAMA BARAYA - 2019-09-16 09:17:19 Quote

  • Actually you don't blame either parents as most of them try to follow doctrines of either religion there believe in so that's is one reason I can deduce from their reasons, a person's religion doesn't dictate the fellow in question in my own point of view it's right and wrong at the same time! 

    - Yesiru Oloruntoba - 2019-09-16 09:18:43 Quote

  • We all know that parent order must prevail on their child,,,if your parent said you must not marry her ,it a must for you not to do so. the issue of religion in marital life is very important not for today but btomorrow which is future, this always happen when children grow old their will be confusion of which religion to choose and also it always ruin family.

    My advice for the writer is to take heed to his parent order and move on to find another lady of similar religion in order to have good home and happy married life.

    - Yahaya Solihudeen Ajiboye - 2019-09-16 09:19:24 Quote

  • In the new millinium, Religion shouldn't be a barrier to marriage or dating. Though in as much as love is involved, parents concernt and blessings are very vital in marriage. So you have to continue pleading with them to see reasons with you.

    - Caleb Okekwu - 2019-09-16 09:19:50 Quote

  • I will advise you to take things easy look at things from your parents point of view. Most times we take some decisions that will later cause us harm but due to love we overlook and hope it won't happen. ask yourself some questions. you think you will be okay with it if your children decides not to practice Islam with you and they all decide to go to church? on the other hand your parents overstepped by arresting her,it's not like she is forcing herself on you.they actually disrespected you by arresting shows you are not old enough to decide what you want.

    - Akeem onifade - 2019-09-16 09:24:28 Quote

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