She Excuse Herself Whenever I Make Attempt To Kiss Her

I was dating a girl for 4 years and the relationship was going on smoothly then, but any time I make an attempt to kiss her, she will find a way of excusing herself. I was even thinking that it is normal, but the day it clocked 5 years that we have been dating, we celebrated it and I made an attempt to kiss her which she agreed on and I'm happy.

After 2 weeks of the celebration she came to my house to visit me, but when going back, because she was heading to church for one conference, she mistakenly forgot her phone, there is no way to reach her to inform her about it after few hours she discovered, she called me with one of her church member's phone that she forgot her phone at my place that she will come at night to collect it and I said it's ok.

My friend came not long and I explained to him everything about her. My friend said, maybe she have been cheating. He brought the suggestion that we should check her phone, but there was password there. He performed one trick on her phone to be able to unlock the phone. I read her chats, there I discovered that she was dating 4 guys which he allowed them to have s*x with her that they all have fixed another day for appointment. 

Now, what should I do? Should I react to it or I should pretend I never see anything? 

Comments Reply
  • React oo before it's too late. I'm that kind of person who doesn't see anything wrong in checking your partners phone and chats, there shouldn't be anything to hide at all. Tell her everything you did with her phone, tell her you're sorry but she should explain those chats you saw in her phone. Now don't be to soft, she might start shouting asking u why u hacked her phone. Talk to her like a man , put fear in her and she won't be able to centre on the factthat you opened her phone.

    - Joy Pius - 2019-09-16 04:48:09 Quote

  • I would suggest you react to it when she's back, let her know everything that's been going on and call off the relationship. She's just been keeping you for a reason personal to her and been cheating on 4 other guys. If you dont stay away from her you'll just continue to push hard and it's a waste of your time. Can I ask a question,  with everything you knew about her now, can you still get married to her because your relationship is 5years already?

    - Olaniyi Mustapha - 2019-09-16 06:16:57 Quote

  • See what I will like you to do, as you have discovered that she is cheating not only one person but two to three persons I advice you should pretend you don't know what is happening then try to separate from her and move on because what I see there is that she don't love you and you can not by force her to love you. If you try to force her you may have a problem so be wise my dear 

    - Christian Chekwube - 2019-09-16 06:35:26 Quote

  • Silence is a very strong virtue and it works wonders, don't react like that, don't even call her, pretend nothing happened. After getting the phone, don't call her again, let her do the calling while you find another girl. Don't make attempt to kiss her even, when you find another girl, you release her, but before then, have your evidences intact so that your action(s) will be justified. 

    - Akintomide Akinbisoye - 2019-09-16 06:43:18 Quote

  • The first thing I would like to see some people just don't like kissing, also I will not like you to pretend that you did not see anything she will first challenge you for checking and phone, but the best thing is to sit her down and ask her why she did that ask her if she would like to break up or break up with the other guys so that you can continue your relationship.

    - Prince Pelumi Juba - 2019-09-16 07:54:35 Quote

  • Bro you’re going to have to react to it because you wouldn’t be able to trust her in the relationship anymore. Acting like you didn’t see it would only keep hurting you the more and you’d probably go and start doing your own so as to get back at her which will only worsen the relationship. Confront her about it.

    - Omosivwe Jonathan - 2019-09-16 07:57:09 Quote

  • As heart breaking as this can be, it happens my brother. Many girls have multiple relationships and there's always that guy who believes she's a good girl and if you are that guy she will keep pretending to you. Well now you know so it's up to you to either collect your own share and bow out of the relationship or end it now and save yourself from further heart break

    - Virtue Azuka - 2019-09-16 08:01:37 Quote

  • I have once been in a situation like this, but during my case she was smart enough to know I'd already known what she was up to. We talked about it, though I was heartbroken and dissapointed. She tried convincing me that I was the person she truly loves, but I couldn't let myself be fooled I had to end the relationship.. 

    In ur case I see no reason to keep it going, yes five years is not at all something you can just let go, but had it been you had plans of getting married, it would have been a life time of heart break and dissapointment. I am not trying to tell you what to do but, what I would say is you deserve better. 

    - Obinna Eze - 2019-09-16 08:01:48 Quote

  • I don't think that there's need to pretend. What for? The blindfold has already been removed from your face. 

    Five years relationship is not a joke only to discover that your partner isn't what you thought she was. 

    May God guide and direct you on this. 

    - Adediji Eniola - 2019-09-16 08:05:18 Quote

  • i strongly recommend you to react and break up with her as soon as possible.Those kind of spouse,even if they love you,  they will still find a way to cheat. It's advisable you break up

    - Jimoh Abdulrahman - 2019-09-16 08:08:44 Quote

  • Ist thing u have to do is confront her I mean why re some gals this way. They make gud gals look bad, now a gal who hasn't probably kissed before pple wud think she's pretending which wouldn't be true. The next thing u shud do is end things, u deserve better n she's not it

    - Divine Dimkpa - 2019-09-16 08:12:06 Quote

  • Hmm, guy u need not react. If u love her and u still want to move on with her despite what u found out. Sit her down and talk to her, tell her u what u found out and its left to decide.

    - Precious Etonihu - 2019-09-16 08:13:28 Quote

  • Bro you have to confront her and speak your mind. Though she might be angry with for checking her phone but the fact must be told if truly you want that relationship to work out.

    - ADEJUMO ADEWUMI - 2019-09-16 08:14:48 Quote

  • I will advise that you should play along and do your follow up to get her at the wrist hand. And as you are playing along try and find another good girl which will cooperate with you a nd move one together with her. And by my word cooperate I don't mean sleeping with her oo. 

    - Dairo Idowu - 2019-09-16 08:15:18 Quote

  • React to it... You may even need to break up with her completely. Five years in a relationship isn't child's play but if you really want your relationship to lead to marriage, I don't think you should continue with her. She cheated with 4 guys not just 1. You will never be able to trust her no matter how much you try. Forget about her and move on. She is a lost cause 

    - Sarumi Peter - 2019-09-16 08:16:47 Quote

  • Bro, let me not lie to you, you already know what to do in your mind. Because i don't think you will be able to pretend or hold this to your self. Besides, pretending not to know anything is wrong. Say it to her plainly that you have discovered her ways. Ask her why she did that to you. Keeping A relationship for give good years isn't so easy. I would say she doesn't love you that was why she did that. That kind of girl can't be trusted again.

    - Adekoya Ayomide - 2019-09-16 08:17:12 Quote

  • Since it as gotten to cheating level, you have to react before she takes you for what you are not. In such situation you still have to be wise, calm and smart in your reactions...

    - Adewumi Sunday - 2019-09-16 08:17:42 Quote

  • I think there is nothing to pretend about,just call her and ask her.if she has a genuine reason for doing that but if she don't have genuine reason, you can ask her to leave the other guys for you if you still love her

    - Babalola Oyinkansola - 2019-09-16 08:20:55 Quote

  • For 4 yrs not even one kiss, brother how did you do it ni, pls react to it, and try not to make a decision about it when you re angry ,cos u will definitely regret it.... But where this is headed is a break up. Hw can u nt kiss me for 4yrs plus and u having and enjoying yourself with 4 other guys, aye mi teni, bami.

    - Sunny Ike - 2019-09-16 08:24:40 Quote

  • Bro...u need to break up the relationship.can u imagine dating a girl that's keep 4 other boyfriend.intruth taking the relationship to the next step would cost nothing but heart break to just break up on a mutual consent

    - David Akwe - 2019-09-16 08:25:30 Quote

  • Talking about kissing, not everybody likes. But for the fact that she has been seeing other guys and probably sleeping with them means she's just keeping some of you guys as her spare tyre in case her main tyre diappoints. You better break up with her because she doesn't truly love you.

    - Ugochi Lucy - 2019-09-16 08:26:50 Quote

  • Bro can I ask a question Are you in a relationship with are?? Because some girls dont like that. And if you are in a relationship with her and still refuses to kiss you maybe she is not in the mood or maybe you have provoked her or she is no longer interested in you. That is what I feel

    - Ifeoluwa Emmanuel Owolade - 2019-09-16 08:28:26 Quote

  • You definitely can't live with that annoying truth. Waow, what a shocking revelation,  tell her you the truth,  that you got suspicious of her for the fact she constantly deny you of a simple kiss which led you to check her phone to know your stand.  You got the truth you want.  

    - Kennedy Onyebuchi - 2019-09-16 08:28:47 Quote

  • Guy my advice for you is to confront her and don't get too emotional about it. Face the reality that you won't be able to trust her the way you ought to in a relationship. Put an end to such pretentious relationship because you deserve better.

    - Radiance Abraham - 2019-09-16 08:29:27 Quote

  • My God!!! 5years of staying in a relationship without even  a kiss only to find out that she is cheating??? Well my brother, forgive her and let her go.someone who deserves you will come. I don't think she is yours although it took you too long to realise this.

    - Maureen Okoh - 2019-09-16 08:39:19 Quote

  • Pretend for what again?. My dear the truth has been made known to you and you have to discuss about that with her to know your stand. Don't go around fooling yourself that you have a nice girlfriend where as she is enjoying life else where.

    - Prince Robinson - 2019-09-16 08:45:02 Quote

  • 5 years and no kiss in a relationship? It's either she doesn't like kisses or you. About the cheating confront her about it. If she apologizes and you can forgive her fine. But I'll advice you to leave her.

    - Joyclyn Ogbonna - 2019-09-16 08:50:29 Quote

  • You don't need any revelation anymore to prove that she doesn't love you .. Its obvious so instead of hoping or waiting on false hope I would advice that you just let go.. .Trust me its not going to be easy you just have to let go. 

    - Rachel Olajide - 2019-09-16 08:58:27 Quote

  • In order to really confirm what to you saw in her phone strive to do a follow-up and see if she is dating anyone else before pouring out your mind to her. Base on your finding you will know the next step to follow.

    - IFEANYI NWOKEDI - 2019-09-16 09:01:41 Quote

  • I would advise you you to tell her your mind, let her know how you feel. She is actually cheating on you with multiple guys and that is very bad. If you really love her and wish to continue, then ask her to breakup with her other boyfriends, if she eventually does that and comes back, try to build the relationship again and make sure that she is transparent to you. 

    - Kelvin Idika Mmaduabuchi - 2019-09-16 09:02:09 Quote

  • It's either she is cheating or she doesn't have any feelings for you

    Just be mindful

    Or it could be that you have mouth odour also that might be the cause too

    You also need to check yoursef

    - Mosunmola Anifowose - 2019-09-16 09:11:06 Quote

  • This is sad but jut try to be patient and get the truth first. Even if she's cheating don't just go with the assumption, investigate and settle with the truth

    - Ayoola Breakthrough - 2019-09-16 09:11:30 Quote

  • Oops, this is disheartening, and you loved her so much. I believe she is not meant to be yours, confront her about it and hear her out but it is certain she doesn't love you.

    - Jesujuwonlo Oni - 2019-09-16 09:21:40 Quote

  • Ah! Sit her down ask her why she did all that. Make her explain and tell you the truth. From her reasons, you could hve a second thought but don't accept her back.

    - 'Sophia Nnadozie - 2019-09-16 09:21:43 Quote

  • For Four good years you never kissed her? Wow... The girl in question is vert heratless. She is even cheating on you with four guys and pretends to the last! Guy abeg confront her and let her know u checked her phone. Keeping quiet might kill you inside. If possible break up with her. 


    - Venus Joseph - 2019-09-16 09:21:54 Quote

  • The most important thing in a relationship is trust and the trust is already broken. So you have to react to it to whether she loves you or she is just playing you.

    - Caleb Okekwu - 2019-09-16 09:24:01 Quote

  • My advice for you is to firstly apologize to her for going through our chat then tell her everything you saw, ask her why she did that to you, ask her why she has been lying to you, ask her why she has been pretending to you for all this while and after listening to all what she have to say never remain in that relationship if she has been doing that for over five years of you both dating imagine what she will do when you marry her the enemy you know it's better than the one you don't know the wise that lady don't worth you your love, she's just using you as a cover up

    - Abdullazeez Abdulkareem - 2019-09-16 09:25:25 Quote

  • Kindly dismiss her. She is not meant for you in a plain word. This is heart breaking, I already feel your pains. Someday, you will find a true lover and not the cameleon type. If she eventually comes back try and avoid having conversation with her but amicably dismiss her.

    - Michael Eboh - 2019-09-16 09:25:34 Quote

  • React to it fast and never wait for anything . React and quit her. She's not worthy to be your girlfriend let alone your future wife.. The kissing she's refusing shows that she don't even love you for a bit. Maybe she's only interested in your wealth and any material things  you're offering her. Since she's dating four guys, she must love one of them which you're not among.. So better react fast

    - Goldy Sussy - 2019-09-16 09:27:19 Quote

  • Am actually confused here. Four other guys!! You need to break up with her, I don't think you had any chance here. After all she never allow to kiss nor have S*x with her. 

    - Ajibade Adetunji - 2019-09-16 09:27:39 Quote

  • My advice is very straight and simple. Call her and see her down, tell her all your discoveries that need no defence and let her go in peace. Retain your integrity, she will live to respect you ever even after you have broken up.

    - Folakemi Obatimehin - 2019-09-16 09:27:56 Quote

  • You should confront her and hear her out she may deny or she may confess and ask for forgiveness which left for you to decide on the status of the relationship 

    - OBAGU OGANA UBA - 2019-09-16 09:33:15 Quote


     Let me tell u she don't have any feeling for u so if u want to kiss her use another girl to confuse her so she will now have a great feeling for you and come close so you will feel her and everything will start as normal

    - Uchenna Precious David - 2019-09-16 09:36:16 Quote

  • My Friend there is nothing there to pretend just cut de relationship bcuz whenever u come out on de road nd saw bird dancing just believe say there is something inside de bush dat was beating de drum so be careful young man 

    - Ede Chukwudi Austin - 2019-09-16 09:36:17 Quote

  • What you should do is to sit her down  and ask her if she truly cares about you and see her reaction ,the in depends on you if you will still be in the relationship or not

    - kachi Simon - 2019-09-16 09:36:22 Quote

  • The ideal thing is to confront her and tell her about what you observed or ask her if you could check something on her phone when she comes around and see her reaction. You just have to be sure of what you think is her engagement to those four guys. If she refused to allow you check her phone then know for sure she's hiding something and let her be. You can politely tell her you are not interested in the relationship if you don't want to continue.

    - Holly Okoro - 2019-09-16 09:36:25 Quote

  • Mistake in marriage is very dangerous. Please don't make such. God indirectly haa shown you who she was. Know also that whatever you see now, expect it in your marriage

    - OBIORA STEPHEN - 2019-09-16 09:45:46 Quote

  • In my own opinnion , you dont need to pretends. Sit her down and let her realised her wrong.  i will advice you dont propose to such lady as wife.Kindly allow her to go.

    - Alalade Taiwo - 2019-09-16 09:49:14 Quote

  • I won't advice you to caution her. My only advice is, eat your own part and clean your mouth. She's already a public toilet now, while not improve her ministry.

    - Abebe Oselumense Nelson - 2019-09-16 09:49:19 Quote

  • Guy you've dating her for 5 years and you only kissed on the 4th year.

    girl doesn't really love you that much, or you've been too much of a nice guy.

    You've already wasted 5 years with this girl. Let her go and I'll recommended you read the book "How to be 3% Man" by Corey Wayne

    - Reuel Northcott - 2019-09-16 09:51:54 Quote

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