Should I Abort Or Lose My Marriage?

February 2019 made it three years I got married. My spouse and I agreed that we would not have children until we were both ready. As that then, I just graduated from the University while he was to trying to make himself stable in business.

Right now, we both are working and are very comfortable. As a woman, I began to have cravings to have my own kids coupled with the fact that I was already being labelled barren when in essence I was just waiting for the right time.

A month ago, I was tested pregnant. Since it was our third year already, I felt my spouse would be elated by the news but to my dismay, he was indifferent, not excited. 

He has asked me to abort the baby or else I would leave my home. I made calls to close relatives but instead he turned the tables around denying that he was the father of my child. Secretly, he would tell me, to abort else he would make things difficult for me. 

Am at a dilemma. Should I abort this baby and remain in my home or keep the baby and get denied by the husband I love so much?


Comments Reply
  • Don't do that he wanted because is against God and mankind. If you abort  the baby, when you concieve again, he will still ask you to do that  same again if time is not taken. No man in his senses will ask  his wife to abort a baby they don't have yet and he is legally married.who does that.

    - Odoemenam Onyenwearku - 2019-10-06 18:07:12 Quote

  • You do pray don't you? Yes I know you don't want that advice but let me tell you, sit down and reevaluate your decision,3 years in a marriage and your husband can still say he isn't the father of your child?? First,that's disrespect and I don't advice you abort that child.

    - Shola Abigail - 2019-10-06 18:07:45 Quote

  • My sister your situation is like being in the middle of the red Sea and pharo's chariot.However, nothing is impossible with God.God is able to turn Stoney heart to the heart of flesh.Get on your knees and open up to God in prayer.All will be well

    - Jadesola Busayo - 2019-10-06 18:10:12 Quote

  • Now imagine,you abort and die or lose more than the child,would he feel fulfilled then?.

    I know no one wants a failed marriage but that doesn't mean you should not stand for what's right.

    Try to talk to him and a child is a blessing mind you,forget the resources to train him or will come in due time and it's better to have a child to look at than having nightmares of the unborn.

    - Shola Abigail - 2019-10-06 18:10:13 Quote

  • If this sort of thought had come to our parents mind before we were born and they pulled through,we no go dey here na. Let the innocent child live abeg, consider the what ifs.

    - Shola Abigail - 2019-10-06 18:12:18 Quote

  • First off all

    You have been married to him for the years. I feel you should know him. Try to find out why he doesn't want a child despite the fact that you guys are financially stable already. Be firm and calm during your findings. Don't conclude without proper prunning. Then make your decision logically. Thanks

    - Joshua Ogunsanya - 2019-10-06 18:12:52 Quote

  • Hmmm this requires a lot of wisdom, but i will implore you to know why he is not excited about the news, maybe he is not ready.

    Just pray, fast and ask for wisdom and direction from God, he will surely answer you.

    And please don't abort the child.

    - Elijah Babs - 2019-10-06 18:13:27 Quote

  • Abortion is a crime and a sin. Don't abort the pregnancy and if you do, you're a murderer.

    It's better to lose your marriage but as time goes on, your husband will come looking for you. 

    - Caleb Okunade - 2019-10-06 18:14:28 Quote

  • What was your plan before?start to dig your greaf if you abort that baby .what if you die on the process? My sister God will bless you if you don't remove the child. 

    - Nwodo Ifeanyi Emmanuel - 2019-10-06 18:18:25 Quote

  • Please don't abort your baby, try your best to convince your husband, ask him why he doesn't want a child.

    If he still says no i advice that you move on but don't abort that child, it could be a blessing in disguise.

    Take your husband to court if possibe.

    - Toluwani Atoro - 2019-10-06 18:18:43 Quote

  • What your husband is doing is cruel. It has been 3 years already so I expect him to have been ready a long time ago. If he was not ready, he should have had protected s8x. Why didn't he? Abortions can prove harmful to your health. I advise you against having an abortion. I pray God softens his heart.

    - Aliyu Abubakar - 2019-10-06 18:19:37 Quote

  • I think aborting your child just to stay married to your husband is not worth it ...if you abort the child, what if you don't get another child ?..I suggest you don't do what you will end up regretting for life ..

    - Ugoabunwa Joy - 2019-10-06 18:22:14 Quote

  • This is a very critical situation, you might not terminate your pregnancy and at the same time keep your marriage you need to seek advice from people, I pray God help you 

    - Adekunle Victor - 2019-10-06 18:25:16 Quote

  • Abortion is murder that's what you should consider first. Don't end a life you can't create all in the name of marriage because procreation is expected in marriage. Keep the pregnancy, take care of the baby. If he sends you parking, don't bother, he'll come around soonest. Insist on DNA test to be conducted to prove the paternity of your child to show your innocence to his family. Invite God in this matter.

    - Chinomso Nwokoma - 2019-10-06 18:25:22 Quote

  • I suggest you keep the pregnancy. If your husband acts this way, he probably never wanted kids so it's better to keep your child and let him realize what he has done wrong. 

    - Temiloluwa Amurawaiye - 2019-10-06 18:25:55 Quote

  • Something must be wrong somewhere, maybe he's not ready to be a father yet nevertheless he should accept it, or maybe he had dipped his hands in a bowl of evil 

    - Godwill Ezeoka - 2019-10-06 18:26:49 Quote

  • My sister, you only love him,while he is tired of you and to me love should not be  one sided,I will not advise you to abort the pregnancy and let the innocent soul fulfil it's destiny,not minding losing your so called lover.

       Apart from that,abortion is a sin against God and humanity,please,run away from sin. And apart from that you can also lost your live, as a result of abortion ,  but I believe, if he is your husband he will surely come back, I wish you best of luck.

    - Muniru Amzat - 2019-10-06 18:28:37 Quote

  • Abortion is a sin. First of all if you know he is the father of the child and he is your husband you shouldn't abort no matter what he threatens to do. He must have his dubious reason for not wanting a child... You are already married for 3 years and if he doesn't want to accept his fatherly duties he should kindly use the door. I repeat don't abort.

    - Christopher Peace - 2019-10-06 18:29:13 Quote

  • Please don't abort the innocent baby.... In my own opinion I would advise you to leave the marriage than commit murder of an innocent baby.... Try to talk to your husband first make him see reasons... If he doesn't agree... Leave the marriage you have a job so you have nothing to worry about... Please don't commit abortion 

    - Florence Annabell - 2019-10-06 18:29:40 Quote

  • Please don't abort the baby because you want people to call you mother of some one and at the same time your husband family will soon come and put pressure on you,if you don't have child or you don't know the number of children God will give you and if you abort this and latter find it difficult to have another,just have faith you will bear the child and remain in his house

    - Abdullateef Olatunji - 2019-10-06 18:30:51 Quote

  • I think communication is still key here. The same way you guy agreed not to have babies is the same way you both need to sit and agree to start making babies. Keep the pregnancy test as evidence that you aren't barren in case of future occurrences

    - Oludare Olushola - 2019-10-06 18:30:59 Quote

  • Happiness and peace of mind is everything in this life and don't you ever trade that with public opinion or trying to please someone else. 

    The news of a new born baby always being hood tidings and as the says goes, nobody will hear the news of a new born baby and not be happy

    My advise to you is that, if you know anybody that your husband repected so such or the person he's so much afraid of you can talk to such person to help you talk to your husband

    Another thing you can equally do ia to involve your church pastor if you are a Christian or the Imam if you are a Muslim

    If any of the above do not work, i will say you do anything that makes you happy who knows things might change once you have given birth

    - Chukwu Anthony - 2019-10-06 18:31:36 Quote

  • This is totally confusing, how would a husband legally married to you just wake up to find out you're pregnant for him and yet insist you should abort it, can't he just let it be, or is there any case of infidelity, of so, that must have been his reason for requesting for an abortion, yet its not  the best thing to do. 

    - PETER MMADUEKE - 2019-10-06 18:34:29 Quote

  • You husband point of view is wrong i.e the way he is going about solving the issue at hand. But you are also wrong, it is a marriage we are talking about here. When you felt the need to have children or that the time was then you could have talked to your partner about it, make him see reasons with and you might have ended up convincing him. But since u did not tell about it and now you are pregnant. Id advise u keep the child because of the way went about it.

    - Daniel Daniella - 2019-10-06 18:35:29 Quote

  • My sister my honest advice to you is don't abort the baby because if you do so you will be guilty forever. And again you need to ask him to tell you why you shouldn't have kids even when you guys are working already. For me, I sense that there is something he is hiding from you. 

    - Joel Mejida - 2019-10-06 18:38:21 Quote

  • My dear keep the baby and don't sin against your God. Make him understand that the baby is here already and there's nothing that he can do. And lastly pray to God for guidance and to soften his heart.

    - Ameen Adesina - 2019-10-06 18:40:40 Quote

  • Hmmn, it is a little bit complicated, but I think you should keep the baby, because aborting itselfbis a sin and u can even die in the process. You should go to a trusted relative of yours whom you know listens for a good advice. If he continues to tell you to go abort as you are pregnant the best thing to do at that time is separate not divorce him for the time being. As time goes on he might come to his sense. I hope have been able to help

    - Blessing Kayode - 2019-10-06 18:41:07 Quote

  • My dear.. neither you nor your husband has the power to give life so the both of you don't have any right to take one.. If he's a good person and truely loves you, he wouldn't want you to abort the baby. So all you have to do is just put to bed and leave with the baby, if he doesn't come back searching for you it means he never loved you at all.

    - Chucks Mordi - 2019-10-06 18:42:35 Quote

  • That child in your womb has the right to live. You don't have the right to deny that child access into this world. That might be your only seed. Do not abort it

    - Chimezie Anyiam - 2019-10-06 18:46:16 Quote

  • I will not advice you to abort because you have not given birth at all, God forbid if you abort and you can't consive again he would marry another wife when he's ready to have a child, I will advice you tell his family member mostly his parent and yours too about his intention if you keep the pregnant, don't mind his treat to let his people know.

    - Sayaolu Remilekun - 2019-10-06 18:46:16 Quote

  • It's very deadly to have an abortion, abortion is uncultural no matter how necessary it could be, so i would advice that abortion is to be left out of options 

    - Olalekan Abdullateef - 2019-10-06 18:47:27 Quote

  • A man who truly love his wife won't ask her to do abortion because it is between life and death. The advice i will give the woman is that he should divorce the man or else if she did the abortion there is a probability that she might die. It is better for her to loose her marriage than she should now go and die

    - Keshinro David - 2019-10-06 18:50:53 Quote

  • If I were in your shoes I would keep the baby because aborting is a sin before God ,I would only be patient with my husband and keep praying and I believe with time his mind will change and we will give birth to even more 

    - Akinfenwa David - 2019-10-06 18:51:10 Quote

  • If you people are not ready to keep the baby please abort it and you are still in school so you really need to abort the baby and move on with your education.

    - Emem Henry - 2019-10-06 18:52:14 Quote

  • Please,Do not abort the baby..

    Abortion is not the right thing to do at all first it's a sin,secondly it might affect you health wise...Have the baby,and keep praying that the spirit of the Lord enters your husband so he would have a change of mind

    The child is going to bring good things into your life and home

    Be Prayerful!!

    - Doyinsola Ogunkunle - 2019-10-06 18:56:50 Quote

  • Considering the fact that abortion is very risky. I don't think it will be a good idea to go on with it. It might reduce your chances of conceiving in future. You should rather find a way to stay far away from the man till you give birth or ask trusted relatives to intervene. 

    - Daniel Similoluwa - 2019-10-06 18:56:50 Quote

  • It a very difficult thing to do it better you have child he would one day come looking for you. If you decide to abort it and due to that you can no longer bear children he would still send you. These are some of the things some coulple are facing now. After the abortion some find it difficult to conceive again. Please ma'am just have your child aleast you have your job.

    - Zakari Stella - 2019-10-06 18:57:07 Quote

  • Surely I tell you that the marriage is lost when abort the pregnancy. That may be your only fruit u will have in your marriage. And what if you abort and when you are ready you can't bear a child again. 

    my advice for you is that u should go explain everything to his mom, no. matter how difficult the situation is she will always understand as a good mother

    - Afolabi Taiwo - 2019-10-06 18:58:31 Quote

  • Surely I tell you that the marriage is lost when abort the pregnancy. That may be your only fruit u will have in your marriage. And what if you abort and when you are ready you can't bear a child again. 

    my advice for you is that u should go explain everything to his mom, no. matter how difficult the situation is she will always understand as a good mother

    - Afolabi Taiwo - 2019-10-06 18:58:44 Quote

  • It's better you keep the pregnancy and get denied cause you don't know what God has prepared for you,  you don't know the kind of child he is going to be, so please keep it and leave your husband if he is not ready, he might leave if you abort and you are not able to have another again, so don't do what you will regret 

    - ayomide Ayomide - 2019-10-06 19:01:50 Quote

  • My dear try to talk to your husband about how you feel and if he doesn't agree to your decision concerning the baby then you go on with your decision alone. Also dont forget to pray to God to change his mindset.

    - Ademuyiwa Greatness - 2019-10-06 19:02:55 Quote

  • Dear is  he a cultist, as for me oo, I will advise u keep the pregnancy, what if you go to  abort the pregnancy at the point something happen, you loose your life or your womb, what will be your gain, he will go a head to marry someone else, pls keep the baby,  look for a good job that you can use to carter for your baby, I don't think if he will send you away, if he does, he will, definitely come back to  you and the baby later. 

    - Affiong Effiong - 2019-10-06 19:04:12 Quote

  • Sister do not attempt abortion. You can excuse him for the maintime ,I am sure when the baby arrives he would come around.

    I pray you get the strength you need at this time. 

    - Olamide Adeyemi - 2019-10-06 19:04:49 Quote

  • If you abort it you may not have children in your life time and the two of you will regret it.especially you wife, you will look for a child with bitter ness unfortunate you will not have it.Your husband will now go out and look for a young girl that will bear him children, but for you it will be too late,so my advice leave the pregnancy.

    - Ajala Babatunde - 2019-10-06 19:07:31 Quote

  • please don't try aborting the pregnancy because if you die he is going to live his life as a man and get married to someone else with a child.

    if he threatens you too much I will advice you leave his house since you are already working and try to be strong by yourself.

    A good and responsible man won't think of abortion after marriage tho he might be thinking you guys haven't made enough money to raise the child but you didn't plan to get pregnant and it happens,do you don't have any reason to abort it madam .

    - Bamidele Habeebat - 2019-10-06 19:11:11 Quote

  • This is really a state of dilemma cause you said you love your husband and again if you should abort the baby it is a sin and against the will of God, For my own suggestions, I think should you do a phone recording whenever you are into an argument to abort the baby if that can serve as a proof to give to his relatives. 

    - Gabriel Akinbode - 2019-10-06 19:11:55 Quote

  • Do not Abort it, it the Fruitfulness from your marriage!. If the only option is to leave your marital home, I would advice you do so, that's if independently you can take care of your child. Your Husband would come to accept facts later on. Then he would realize mistakes he made. The keypoint here is "if you can train your child independently".

    - Unabor Ofure - 2019-10-06 19:14:46 Quote

  • He failed to understand that it is God that gives children and at the time He considers good and convenient. As a woman, time may not always be on you side as they tend to be less reproductive with age. 

    But I believe that a normal man after three years of marriage and has intimate relationship with the wife should be able to appreciate the outcome of it.

    Unless he has evil thing he is hiding, what if when he is ready and God is not ready and by then what will you do.

    Don't abort because it is sin against God, humanity and it could make you childless in life.

    - oluebube emmanuel njoku - 2019-10-06 19:15:46 Quote

  • Firstly, your husband is the head of the house. I would say you explain to him the dangers pertaining abortion. It is a risk, what if your womb got damaged? What if that was the only child you were destined to have? Again, if he's a religious person, it's unGodly to abort a child. Well, if after all this, he still insists on abortion, then you have no choice. You just have to keep praying

    - Folorunso Taofeek - 2019-10-06 19:19:18 Quote

  • Ma, the heart of the king is in the hand of the Lord and he stirr it to any direction he wishes. You have to arrest your husband in the place of prayer, God will change his mind and turn everything around for your Good.

    - Odinakachi Obaji - 2019-10-06 19:20:59 Quote

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