Should I Make My Husband Happy At My Own Detriment?

My husband and I have been married for a year now. Before marriage we dated for close to three years and he always liked the way I dress. I was born and raised in a deeper life church so am bare all the time.

After close to four months of our wedding, he changed his attitude towards me, he barely touch me, he comes home late, go to clubs.

I confronted him last month and he said my dressing irritates him because I don't wear trousers and make up, I don't even do human hair, his friends bring their wives to club and he can't take me. Since then I have been trying to dress up for him and his attitude is changing but I can't keep up because am not used to it and am pregnant, it makes me uncomfortable.

I have been thinking of talking to his mom about it. What should I do please?

Comments Reply
  • He is your husband so you need to do what he wanted you do,I believe he don't want to cheat on you that is why he wanted you to dress the way he has been seeing his friends for you to save your marriage, you need to do what he wants

    - Erhieta Anthonia - 2019-09-13 06:53:35 Quote

  • You are in for it already, going out the marriage will be a very bad move. Since he loved you for who you were before marrying you, he will surely come back to his senses when he finally get to understand you for who you are... Talking to his mother is not a bad idea but be prayerful.

    - Lubem Terzungwe - 2019-09-13 06:57:55 Quote

  • Behavioral patterns are very rarely end-games in and of themselves. There’s usually something deeper sparking the drive to act in the same way over and over again. For example, if your boyfriend or husband parties every night – staying up late and drinking lots of alcohol to his own detriment – there’s something more to this than him simply being “immature.” Telling him to “grow up” will not compel him to change and, even worse, it’ll likely drive the two of you apart.
    Instead, ask him what he’s getting out of partying. "Are you doing it to relax?" "To relieve some anxiety?" "To avoid responsibility?" Come from a place of really trying to understand the drive behind the behavior before even attempting to change the behavior.

    - Isomkwo Clement - 2019-09-13 07:18:01 Quote

  • You should try your best first never give up and pray for God guidance since you're a sister now.and try to understand him more.i also think may be your love is based on something else .if not how could he have married you since that's how you dress,madam dress is not the reason woo.add more efforts on other love activities.

    - Sufiyan Mohammed - 2019-09-13 07:20:36 Quote

  • Go on your knees, take the case to God. He will touch the heart of your husband rather than you inviting the third party into the situation.

    Also, accepting Jesus does not mean you should not dress well but not like a prostitute. Wearing makeup doesn't give you beautiful look.

    Remember where you are going (HEAVEN), no excuses, dress well, have your hair done on time, cream your body to look beautiful then pray to God who is the controller of all to touch your husband's heart..

    - AKIODE OLAOLUWA - 2019-09-13 07:37:24 Quote

  • Its better to try all your possible best.talking to his mom will not change anything,and if he should go out for those girls out will really find it difficult to bring him back home

    He really love you for telling you the truth about his suddenly changed and gives you the way to keep your home safe and your home is in your hand not your husband anymore,because he has let you know what going on.make his happy first,before using the word of God to change him gradually,and i pray God will help you

    - Idiris Opeyemi - 2019-09-13 07:41:12 Quote

  • My dear, your home is very important to you. If what your husband wants will keep your home please continue with it.God bless your home. 

    - KAZEEM OYERINDE - 2019-09-13 08:02:04 Quote

  • Talking to his mum might not solve anything, Marriage is about two people so talk to your husband both of you are to adjust to make the marriage last long... I believe communication is the key here

    - Bukola Ayobami - 2019-09-13 08:05:58 Quote

  • Between loosing your marriage and changing the way you dress  which one will hurt you more? I believe it's loosing your marriage so dear do the needful..  Just keep dressing the way he likes you will get used to it with time.  

    - Kennedy Onyebuchi - 2019-09-13 08:08:36 Quote

  • His your husband & you will live with him till death do you part. If you don't make him happy he will find happiness outside your marriage.

    - Godswill Wilson - 2019-09-13 08:08:37 Quote

  • I think since he liked you the way you were before marriage, but then changed after its a case of religion. I think you should have a talk with him about your discomfort and perhaps the pastor won't be a bad idea

    - Ameh Ojonugwa wa Vincent - 2019-09-13 08:11:19 Quote

  • There are decent clothes you can wear without exposing any part of your body and still look good. But when you are alone with your husband at home, you don't have to look that decent. You don't really have to be used to it. Just start doing it with the intention of learning something new and with time, you'll get used to it even without knowing. 

    - Charles Igala - 2019-09-13 08:13:30 Quote

  • No, he should see reason to  understand with you. You should be  praying for him and look for the his happy moment to let him know your pain. Also, you could beseech his mother to help you talk to him

    - Flo Baby - 2019-09-13 08:13:36 Quote

  • The first thing is to consult He that has established the home, which is God, He has the heart of man is His pavilion, He only knows how to settle you without compromising your faith nor your home. The second step is what you considered first which is talking to his mum about your late experience. God bless you

    - Odelana Olubusayo Akintunde - 2019-09-13 08:15:22 Quote

  • Wow. He married u just because of the way u are and now he doesn't want that anymore. No...if a man wants to marry a lady, it is for who she is and not who he wants her to be. If u can't cope with the new dressing style, I don't think you should continue dressing that way. Talk to him to understand u. If he truly loves you, he will.

    - Jessica Angel - 2019-09-13 08:18:14 Quote

  • He is your husband you have no choice maybe you should try to talk to him once again,he might change is ways and don't report him to his mother,you should settle any dispute that might occur between you guys your self.

    - Aderoju Odunayo - 2019-09-13 08:24:03 Quote

  • Well that's a big challenge that u are facing, but with God all things are possible. My humble advice to you is that you should not do anything to please man but irritate the finisher of your faith as a Christian which you are. Just pray to God for a change in the life of your husband and remain steadfast and everything will be alright.

    - Uforo Ekpo - 2019-09-13 08:26:05 Quote

  • I'm sorry to say, if you can't try your best to make your husband happy you may end up losing him to other girls outside that could do what he wants unless if you are okay with such. Moreso you don't need to make him happy at your own detriment since you seems to be quite religious reflecting in your style of dressing, you should put your husband in prayers so he could still cherish you just the way he has few years earlier into your marriage.

    - Isaac Olalere - 2019-09-13 08:26:11 Quote

  • Madam why didn't marry a man that share same faith and believe with you . A deeper lifer and you married a man that goes to club, that's another insult to your faith. Never complain over what you permit. My dear talk to your husband and you guys should come to a compromise, just dress good for him expose some skin ,if not I see a separation coming in. So do the needful. 

    - Chukwuemeka Ekelaka - 2019-09-13 08:27:47 Quote

  • Well, i think you should call a family meeting because this a crucial issue or call his mother and tell her what's happening i think that will help.

    - Kenneth Deligence - 2019-09-13 08:28:47 Quote

  • Well, i think you should call a family meeting because this a crucial issue or call his mother and tell her what's happening i think that will help.

    - Kenneth Deligence - 2019-09-13 08:29:10 Quote

  • He is your husband!. Using Afrocentric reasoning, the husband is the head of the house. Meaning,whatsoever he wishes or desires must be granted to him. It's better for you to comply to what he wants so that he won't go out and started carrying those chicks that wears nice outfits (those that ruin your marriage in a second). Comply o my sister!

    - Adekeye Stephen - 2019-09-13 08:31:09 Quote

  • The man is the head of the house, so it I preferable you give him what he wants. Confronting his mum will only create anger and little hatred in his mind over you. Try to meet up with what he wants to avoid story that touches.

    - Precious idisi - 2019-09-13 08:32:10 Quote

  • That is the challenge about marriage. We do pretend that we are this we are that but, in reality we are not. It is very important to be real to each other so that if one partner is changing for the sake of the relationship, he/she is changing consciously. 

    You can't change from positive to negative. Therefore, I advice that you tell his mom. 

    - Eyab John - 2019-09-13 08:34:47 Quote

  • This is a mistake in families these days

    A woman who is well with you should be allowed to do whatever she wants, we live in a new age now. I don't think you should change to appease anyone at any cost

    - Prince Pelumi Juba - 2019-09-13 08:36:08 Quote

  • My dear he is now married to you be dressing sharp for him before is too late ask him the kind of dressing he want from you and make sure you give it to him....we are in the 21 century be wise

    - Amataobi Chinaza - 2019-09-13 08:40:27 Quote

  • Ist of all it's not ur fault cus he accepted u the way u are only to reject u now so u shouldn't blame urself but since ur married n there is no going back u have to adapt do everything he loves since he's ur husband change ur dressing make ur hair wear makeup so atleast u can beat ur chest that u did ur best n u worked hard to keep ur marriage, goodluck.

    - Divine Dimkpa - 2019-09-13 08:47:22 Quote

  • I don't think you should make your husband at your own detriment. You and your husband should come to an agreement and stamp some rules in place, he married you for a reason, ain't it. He has to love you and appreciate you for who you are, if not for anything, but your unborn child.

    - Olabode Rowland - 2019-09-13 08:49:51 Quote

  • Well as for me I will get used to it because I don't want to loose my husband and more over looking  good is what every woman really need, looking good is bea and I love that, if am to be the one I must adapt to that because he is my  husband and I really love him. 

    - Okwute Chinecherem - 2019-09-13 08:51:50 Quote

  • Marriage is not the reason your husband has changed. People change.You can change too.Your husband loves you very much. A man will not marry a woman for loneliness seek but because he loves her. He wants you to show him love too.                You can show him love by wearing what he wants you to wear.If you love your husband, do what he tells you to do. 

    - Light Udoyo - 2019-09-13 08:52:53 Quote

  • You have to do what you have to do to keep your husband. Every husband wants his wife to look good to his taste,you just have to get used to it. To prevent him from going outside to other girls. 

    - Jesse Ekakitie - 2019-09-13 08:53:08 Quote

  • I suggest you two should go for right counselling. But you act the way he wants till your counselor jump in. Also, make him aware of your uncomfortable situation, may be he'll come back to his sense of humor.

    - GAFAR RASAQ - 2019-09-13 08:53:51 Quote

  • My sister the earlier you safe your marriage the better for you. He is your husband he is your Lord and a woman should  be submissive to their husband. Just do what he likes

    - John Jakada - 2019-09-13 08:55:04 Quote

  • Please, for the sake of your marriage and happiness, do what your husband wants. He might change later and ask you to continue your way of dressing. He might be testing you. I've seen several cases like that. Keep your man

    - Adegboyega Motunrayo - 2019-09-13 08:56:04 Quote

  • Please, for the sake of your marriage and happiness, do what your husband wants. He might change later and ask you to continue your way of dressing. He might be testing you. I've seen several cases like that. Keep your man

    - Adegboyega Motunrayo - 2019-09-13 08:56:24 Quote

  • Okay, when I first saw the headline I was going to say that you can't make your husband happy at your own expense. 

      But now that I have gone through the story, it seems to me that all you just have to do is submit to him. You don't have to go on full make-up, you don't have to go to clubs with him, let him know that that is against your believe, but you can also dress in ways that should make him happy. After all the Bible says we should submit to our husbands. There are cloths for pregnant women that still make them look attractive. Explain what pregnancy is and the pain plus discomfort it brings, tell him how you need to be comfortable at all times so the baby isn't affected. And take note when telling him these things, do not raise your voice at all cost and let him speak when he wants to. It might seem that he won't listen at first but just say it in such a way that it sinks, and you will have a good result. 

    - Tomiwa olousolape Oyegoke - 2019-09-13 09:02:26 Quote

  • If it just trouser and make up that is asking you should endure with time you will get use to it but if it's dress that expose your body you have to talk to him and tell him you don't feel comfortable and if he his angry talk to his mom

    - Temiloluwa Emmanuel - 2019-09-13 09:02:52 Quote

  • This is why courtship is so important.. you and your husband should be very comfortable with each other..i.e know the kind of person you are getting married to.. before getting married.  If that was done properly...these questions wouldn't come up at all.

    - Moses Imafidon - 2019-09-13 09:04:32 Quote

  • You better do whats he likes talking to his mom is not the solution cause she is not marrying, seriously even me i will not like my wife to be dressing like that cause that will make a man to look at women outside 

    - James Ibrahim - 2019-09-13 09:13:14 Quote

  • In my own opinion she should do what the husband wants because she's already he's. And at the same since she is not always comfortable with it ecause she is pregnant, let her talk to her husband that he should bear with her until after giving birth.

    - Daniel Moses - 2019-09-13 09:14:21 Quote

  • You have to please him because i don't see any reasons why you don't have to,you can get use to dressing like that because there is no problem in dressing that way,its your husband we are talking about

    - Idumwonyi iwinosa prosper - 2019-09-13 09:14:26 Quote

  • You probably went into the marriage too soon so much that you didn’t get to know what type of person he is. I’ll strongly advice you do not tell his mum cos he might get mad you’re taking your issues to a third-party

    - Emmanuel Korodele - 2019-09-13 09:14:38 Quote

  • This is  a common problems usually face by couple who does not fully court or knows their partner well before going into alter. If your husband you even know very well decides one day, that he want you to be putting on trouser because it atrracted him most. please kindly go ahed and do that. otherwise someone else outside we use that as an opportunity.

    - Alalade Taiwo - 2019-09-13 09:15:07 Quote

  • Well,i think to make your Husband happy is the most essential job of a woman because it strenghtens your home and your entire family members.

    - Daniel Christopher - 2019-09-13 09:17:27 Quote

  • Your husband is at fault here..of course he saw the way you were dressing before he fell in love with you and even dated for up to like 3 years.. Its just not fair how he us acting now its not as if he was forced to marry you.

    Just try and make impress him and then try and talk to him and tell him how uncomfortable you can be at times especially when you are now pregnant

    - onyx aaliyah - 2019-09-13 09:20:15 Quote

  • If that is what your husband wants please so be it, he's your husband and you've to make him happy, to avoid any problems in your marriage, just let him happy or you people can talk things out to know how you can adjust for good

    - Michael George - 2019-09-13 09:21:54 Quote

  • Talking to mum won't change his mind ,making a change for him is the best option. Maybe we is getting entitles by what he sees outside that is y he is indirectly complaining .

    - Adekonojo Titilayo - 2019-09-13 09:23:44 Quote

  • You should not totally change because of him he loved when you where like that due to pair influence he has changed you just need to talk him and explain your self then if you are not okay with the decision then you tell his mom and you discuss it out with her so she can talk to her son, to understand you 

    - Chijioke Franklin - 2019-09-13 09:25:40 Quote

  • I think one thing most of us fail to realize is that marriage strives and thrives only by Sacrifice. In every relationship there must be someone sacrificing for the other. Just make it a point of duty for your self and make your happiness his happiness. 

    - Ezetoha Cornelius - 2019-09-13 09:26:00 Quote

  • I think you're trying to help him or yourself. If you wanna help that marriage, satisfy him just for him not to look outside to another woman. Justify yourself and ask him to help you to in terms of you also want. Try make each other more understand and I don't think interfering his family will solve that but you can still try. 

    - Otegbeye Abayomi - 2019-09-13 09:26:40 Quote

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