Should I Tell Her Or Keep It To Myself?

By - - [ Relationship Real Matter ]

I don't know where or how to begin as this issue is really shameful but I will say it either way. It started this way, I have being in a serious relationship with this lady over 3years now, it is the best relationship for both of us due to the fact that we had similar history of betrayal from our ex. The way we flaut ourselves makes our friends jealous, we are always seen together whenever she is on holiday as she school in the East while I work in the West, many even pray to have a relationship like ours.

Just four months ago, I saw my ex on her way home, she was stranded as it was late and she could not get home that day, so I offer to help. She slept at my place that day but during night we had s8x twice before daybreak. Although I have stopped it and told her never to think of visiting as she is nursing the idea.

Now she is coming home next week, the dilemma I find myself is this. Should I just forget it even happen or i should tell her? Am scared to lose her

Should I tell her or keep it to myself? - By Nenye Anyigaenwe - 2019-09-26 07:14:58

I'd advise you to let your lover know of the mistake you did, it might be painful but she'd likely trust you more for being courageous enough to admit to your mistake, it would be far worse for you if she finds out on her own later. She won't trust you again and that would mar your relationship.

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Should I tell her or keep it to myself? - By Joan Chikelu - 2019-09-26 07:20:30

I may not understand what it feels like, but one thing is for sure. I suggest you tell her so she won't figure it out herself. Believe me one of the things needed in a relationship is love and trust. If you have this, you are safe. If she truly loves and trust you ,she will forgive you even if it hurts her. But if you don't tell her and she figures it out herself, believe me she may end up not forgiving you. Give it a go and tell her. 

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Should I tell her or keep it to myself? - By Olawumi Adedeji - 2019-09-26 07:20:31

Hmm , you really should have held yourself back. What if you're already married. Well,maybe you should tell your real girlfriend , let's say if she is understanding , it will make her trust you more but if she is not , forget , your relationship is kind of gone. Just do what you think is right.

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Should I tell her or keep it to myself? - By Rutherford Edidiong Etinwa - 2019-09-26 07:21:38

First of all tell your girlfriend you cheated before it is too late and find all possible way to make her forgive before your ex comes.once she forgive you bring her to your place when when your ex is coming and then table the matter again

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Should I tell her or keep it to myself? - By Albert Modeniola - 2019-09-26 07:24:14

i would strongly advice you to let her know, am sure she would appreciate ur honesty nd the fact that u had the courage to tell her, She might get mad at first but she would definitely come  around... So pls sit her down and tell her every details of it without skipping anything because who knows ur ex might want to use this info against you in the nearest future 

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Should I tell her or keep it to myself? - By Bamidele Habeebat - 2019-09-26 07:25:09

If you tell her it will worsen the case and if you don't tell her it will be better because if she finds out later you can tell her you are scared to lose her that's why you didn't voice out.

And if you know she is the type of girl that will forgive you for your miatami you can find a way to tell her and promise her you it won't happen again and be loyal to her.

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Should I tell her or keep it to myself? - By Wealth Tobi - 2019-09-26 07:25:18

It truly something shameful like you said but bro i will advice you to play along and pretend it never happened. Because if your girlfriend knows about it. She is going to be hurt and start despising you. And that is not good for relationship

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Should I tell her or keep it to myself? - By David Jesse ifeanyi - 2019-09-26 07:34:10

Everyone has a secret and there are are secrets that if you let out might destroy your relationship.. 

Your girlfriend loves you but remember she's human 

Things are involved in telling her your secret because you didn't have to take advantage of your ex's situation, you could have decided to be a gentleman but you didn't.. 

Telling your girlfriend might make her lose what she has for you 

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Should I tell her or keep it to myself? - By Afolayan Juliet - 2019-09-26 07:34:50

Telling her I feel is really the best thing for you to do, because when she finds out one way or the other,the fact that she didn't find out earlier or from you could eventually destroy the relationship. 

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Should I tell her or keep it to myself? - By Ayanniran Boluwatife - 2019-09-26 07:36:48

Tell your girlfriend what you did and how much you regret it. If she loves you she'd stay. If she finds out from another source outside then the devil has successfully put you two apart.

Just be frank, sincere and apologetic or you'd regret it later on when you lose her. May God help you

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Should I tell her or keep it to myself? - By Paul Nwaso - 2019-09-26 07:42:34

Since you have forgiven yourself and have told your ex you don't want her to be around you again. Keep it to yourself and maintain your honesty with your girl friend. This is because, any attempt to tell her will result in she to be suspecting you all the time even when you are not having any thing with any girl.

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Should I tell her or keep it to myself? - By Banigo Tamunomieokomibi Rowland - 2019-09-26 07:45:53

In my opinion, you have to tell her even though it will hurt her because "truth they say is bitter" but it is still better than comforting her with a lie. If you don't tell her now, it will come back later to haunt not only you but also your relationship, she'll never be able to trust you again and that's when you'll really lose her.

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Should I tell her or keep it to myself? - By Lawrence Kehinde Omotayo - 2019-09-26 07:56:00

Well honestly as a girl it won't be nice for me to hear that my boyfriend cheated on me especially with his ex but regardless I rather hear it from him than anywhere else.She is your girlfriend and for the fact that you both have been together for 3YEARS and has loved each other you should have already known her well enough to present this issue properly. Telling her will be good for you and for her also

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Should I tell her or keep it to myself? - By Igwe Francis - 2019-09-26 07:56:20

I will advice you to open up to your girlfriend, why am saying is that if she get to find out that you cheated on her she won't find it easy on you, and that's when you start having issues with her, so go to her and ask her to forgive you that you cheated on her period.. 

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Should I tell her or keep it to myself? - By Bello Al Ameen - 2019-09-26 07:58:12

I would say it's hard to beat the temptation or the urge to help a friend out. I would advise to tell your partner rather than keep it a secret for her. Telling her will make things a lot easier for you too but keeping it from her might stir up some drama between you too and end up ruining your relationship.

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Should I tell her or keep it to myself? - By Olamoyero Rosheed Adewale - 2019-09-26 08:05:20

Firstly you're the one that course it you don't have to take her to your house, you suppose to take her to hotel or if not ,you don't have to sleep with her.

So you have to confess to your love that you made a mistake and it will not happen again 

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Should I tell her or keep it to myself? - By Innocent Lagu - 2019-09-26 08:13:33

You know one thing I know,  and the only one thing I know that keeps relationship last longer and stronger is trust, which we find it difficult to abide in.I think opening up and telling your current girlfriend what happened may earn you trust from her. 

But what if you hide it from her and she later finds out? Hope you know the implications,  after all the love you shared, with all similar way of relationship you have from your ex's (both of you)  none of you is supposed to get hurt anymore. 

Just be open to her tell her exactly what happened, I think if she's reasonable she will understand 

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Should I tell her or keep it to myself? - By Jelili abdulkowiyu - 2019-09-26 08:14:57

Hmm but you don't need to offer her to sleep in your house talkless of you had s8x with her. And you present fiance she trust you but if you don't tell her now and find out later it may cause separation between you and her. I suggests you should let her know with promised her that such things won't happen again.

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Should I tell her or keep it to myself? - By Victor Anodoro - 2019-09-26 08:15:32

My advice to you is that you should tell your partner the truth,yes it is going to hurt her feelings badly she might avoid you for a while but she is going to appreciate you later for telling her the truth.Try to make her understand that you didn't mean for it to happen and promise her you will never do it again.

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Should I tell her or keep it to myself? - By Osikha Cynthia - 2019-09-26 08:17:40

And now, you betrayed her with your ex. Whether you tell her or not , believe you me , your relationship will not be the same. But wait oo, I blame you cause even though you where kind enough to allow your ex come stay with you over the night, but to sleep on the same bed with you, that's boundary crossing. You just have to tell her, it's best she knows or you keep it to yourself to save yourself

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Should I tell her or keep it to myself? - By Bareto Abdulwahab - 2019-09-26 08:21:58

Telling your girlfriend would be the best since you said she love you there’s a probability that she will understand and trust you more ,but make sure your ex never contact you again not even a slightest mistake.

but note woman are not predictable 

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Should I tell her or keep it to myself? - By Temitope John - 2019-09-26 08:31:38

The number one thing I want to make known is that humans are imperfect. While your act cannot be completely defended, I can find a soft spot for you because you have remorse. It shows you respect her even when she's not there. That's love. 

Ultimately the choice is yours but if you tell her she will forgive you eventually. She will be angry and disappointed for a while and in that moment you should allow her vent. She will come back around don't worry. And if you don't tell her, the only thing you will have to worry about is her finding out. In other words you won't have rest of mind until she has found out. Better to tell her or not tell her? The choice is yours. 

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Should I tell her or keep it to myself? - By Rejoice Emmanuel - 2019-09-26 08:45:55

I'd suggest you tell her, it's better you tell her yourself than she finding out herself.

If you tell her yourself, it'll be called a mistake but if she finds out herself, it'll be called a habit.

I've cheated on my boyfriend before with an ex though it was difficult to tell him but I had to sum up the courage to, which he did forgive me for it and we put it behind us.

So what i'm trying to say is that you telling her would be the best choice for you to make.

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Should I tell her or keep it to myself? - By Victor Oladele - 2019-09-26 09:57:42

If you really love her, you should tell her and ask for her forgiveness so you guys can move on

Also, self control is virtue. You must learn how to keep your body under subjection. You can't be sleeping with every one out there at the slightest provocation 

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Should I tell her or keep it to myself? - By Aliyu Gana Aliyu - 2019-09-26 10:09:47

You should tell her the truth because that's what a relationship is all about. Cheating on her is already bad enough not telling her is the straw that will break the camel's back because in my experience, the truth always comes out to play. If you tell her and she forgives you it will strengthen your relationship even more.

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Should I tell her or keep it to myself? - By Abubakar Sadeeq Salihu - 2019-09-26 11:03:35

Believe me one of the things needed in a relationship is love and trust. If you have this, you are safe. If she truly loves and trust you ,she will forgive you even if it hurts her. But if you don't tell her and she figures it out herself, believe me she may end up not forgiving you. Give it a go and tell her. 

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Should I tell her or keep it to myself? - By Ime Henry - 2019-09-26 11:09:11

I think the best thing you should do is to  tell your girl friend because if she finds out on her own it would be much they'd worse because nothing is hidden for ever or if you are not in the right positioned to tell her don't you could destroy your relationship before it even starts.

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Should I tell her or keep it to myself? - By Jegede Oyindamola - 2019-09-26 11:23:42

I will advise you to tell her before she finds out herself which might make you loose her....just express how sorry you are to her, even if she gets angry call other people to help you beg her till she change her mind.

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Should I tell her or keep it to myself? - By Ebido Chiedozie Kevin - 2019-09-26 11:36:51

Tell her the truth of what transpired between you and your ex because it will be very difficult to forgive you when eventually she hears it from another source and don't forget that the same people that admires your relationship will still be the same people that will tell her about the story.

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Should I tell her or keep it to myself? - By Johnson Boluwatife - 2019-09-26 11:37:49

Honestly, I will advise you to let your partner know. She will really get angry but that’s better than letting her find out herself because that secret will surely come out one day. So let her know and ask for forgiveness before it’s too late.

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Should I tell her or keep it to myself? - By Light Udoyo - 2019-09-26 12:49:50

You sound really confused. Oddly, you are the cause of your confusion. Now you are asking questions. "Do you want to go back to your ex...?"                              Why can't you tell her you have a new girl and that both of you are serious and would love to settle down together..!

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Should I tell her or keep it to myself? - By Light Udoyo - 2019-09-26 12:49:51

You sound really confused. Oddly, you are the cause of your confusion. Now you are asking questions. "Do you want to go back to your ex...?"                              Why can't you tell her you have a new girl and that both of you are serious and would love to settle down together..!

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Should I tell her or keep it to myself? - By Irene Obas - 2019-09-26 12:52:14

You should find the courage to let your partner know what happened. She will be hurt and find it hard to trust you again at the beginning but with time she will trust u again. It is better you tell her because it's better she hears it from you and you confess and secondly, your ex could want you back and start blackmailing you, but of you already told her, then she there is no room for her to do such.

I hope you learned your lesson from this and find the courage to tell her the truth.

Good luck!

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Should I tell her or keep it to myself? - By Martha Chinaza - 2019-09-26 12:57:31

  I will advise you to talk to her about it because if she found out by her self it's gonna be a very bad thing to you and her. So tell her even though it hurts I pretty sure she will understand you 

we all make mistakes and we shouldn't blame for it I wouldn't say it's your fault anyways but let her know. 

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Should I tell her or keep it to myself? - By Joyce Omogunwa - 2019-09-26 12:58:30

I really think you should tell her, no matter how painful it is you should tell her. She will be happy that you trusted her enough to tell her what you did. I know you are scared of loosing her but it is more profitable to tell her than she finding out one way or the other. Trust me she will and it will be bad then. The decision of her staying or not solely depends on her. You can also put in prayers too. 

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Should I tell her or keep it to myself? - By Joyce Omogunwa - 2019-09-26 12:59:40

I really think you should tell her, no matter how painful it is you should tell her. She will be happy that you trusted her enough to tell her what you did. I know you are scared of loosing her but it is more profitable to tell her than she finding out one way or the other. Trust me she will and it will be bad then. The decision of her staying or not solely depends on her. You can also put in prayers too. 

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Should I tell her or keep it to myself? - By Hashim Abdullahi - 2019-09-26 13:18:13

First of all, let be trustworthy 

So since what happened has happened, sometimes that thing is uncontrollable. So the best thing is to tell your new girlfriend what really happened, she maybe mad at you but let her know that, you are telling her because you love her, and you u don't want to keep secret from her. 

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Should I tell her or keep it to myself? - By Hashim Abdullahi - 2019-09-26 13:19:12

First of all, let be trustworthy 

So since what happened has happened, sometimes that thing is uncontrollable. So the best thing is to tell your new girlfriend what really happened, she maybe mad at you but let her know that, you are telling her because you love her, and you u don't want to keep secret from her. 

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Should I tell her or keep it to myself? - By Ezinne Ngozi Evurunobi - 2019-09-26 13:28:38

Should I Tell Her Or Keep It To Myself

Well my advice to you is that you should tell her, but strategize the way you talk to her, make her see reason why you have to tell her what you did before you tell her, ask her to forgive you and tell her you regret your actions, make sure she is in a good mood, before you let her know. And give her your promise never to try it again.

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Should I tell her or keep it to myself? - By Rukayat Olubode - 2019-09-26 13:32:49

I will advice you to tell your girlfriend you cheated on her and I know she won't be that mad at you due to the understanding u guys have rather than for her to get to know by herself because if so there will be problem and that even when you will lose her. 

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Should I tell her or keep it to myself? - By Okereke Nzubechi Divine - 2019-09-26 13:33:40

If you know the kind of girlfriend you have then you should know if you are meant to tell her not but since no one is above mistake I think she will forgive you so I guess you should tell her, that's my own opinion

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Should I tell her or keep it to myself? - By Abolarin Deji - 2019-09-26 13:35:59

I would  implore you to summon your courage and try to face your  girl and tell about the whole issue. She would  definitely get mad first but at i think  she would be considerate for the fact that  you told her. It would hurt more if she knows later on without  telling her and girls  can also be very dangerous your ex may decide to come and tell your wife anyday,or she can just start to blackmail  or threaten  you with that. 

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Should I tell her or keep it to myself? - By Anthony Onyekachi - 2019-09-26 14:07:53

This life we are all human we all sin if you truly love her just tell her the truth and if she truly loves you she will believe that there's nothing you can hide from her even if he tells you the truth and it will hurt you let it be but you will never hide anything from you just go up straight and tell her the truth

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Should I tell her or keep it to myself? - By Anthony Onyekachi - 2019-09-26 14:08:05

This life we are all human we all sin if you truly love her just tell her the truth and if she truly loves you she will believe that there's nothing you can hide from her even if he tells you the truth and it will hurt you let it be but you will never hide anything from you just go up straight and tell her the truth

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Should I tell her or keep it to myself? - By Anthony Onyekachi - 2019-09-26 14:08:16

This life we are all human we all sin if you truly love her just tell her the truth and if she truly loves you she will believe that there's nothing you can hide from her even if he tells you the truth and it will hurt you let it be but you will never hide anything from you just go up straight and tell her the truth

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Should I tell her or keep it to myself? - By OLALEKAN OLADAPO - 2019-09-26 14:34:09

Women are emotional being. Since you have decided not to do it again please keep it to yourself.you telling her will worsen it and if she finds out that's where you let her know why you didn't tell her...offcorse you don't want to loose her.

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Should I tell her or keep it to myself? - By Mgbulogu Chidiebere - 2019-09-26 14:35:30

I will advise you to tell your girl friend about it, you know a relationship built lie don't always last.

Just tell your girl friend ask for her forgiveness, if she love you she will forgive you and try to abstain from what you are doing with your ex

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Should I tell her or keep it to myself? - By Mgbulogu Chidiebere - 2019-09-26 14:39:31

I will advise you to tell your girl friend about it, you know a relationship built lie don't always last.

Just tell your girl friend ask for her forgiveness, if she love you she will forgive you and try to abstain from what you are doing with your ex

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Should I tell her or keep it to myself? - By Adegoke Nofisat Ayobami - 2019-09-26 14:44:44

My own advice for you is to let her know your mistake, although it might not easy for you to say it and its hard task also for her to forgive you of your mistake but to show how much you regret your mistake and she will still have much trust in you for not hiding anything for her, her past relationship experience might be lack of trust, beg her and promise not to do such again.

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Should I tell her or keep it to myself? - By Ekigwe Chinedu Raymond - 2019-09-26 14:49:25

you are going to brake her, and betray the trust she ever had it of this and more your decision, because when she goes back to school again her mind will never be at rest she will be thinking of all manners of things about you and what you might be doing while she's away in school. it never happened and don't ever allow that lady ever visit again. 

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