The Idea That Men Are Polygamous In Nature Breaks My Heart

My parents are apart and my Father is remarried with kids. I don't like the fact that he left us for a another woman, have heard of so many stories like mine and it breaks my heart. I feel why would a man claim to love a woman, marry her as his wife, then she bores children for you and then you maltreat her after a while, all in the name of this wasn't how I married you, you added more weight, you this, you're that and then the next thing you feel is best for you to do Is go for another woman.

This question is saddens my heart, what happened to that love you claimed to have for her, why should cheating be the next thing to do, don't you feel it will hurt the woman you claimed to love, don't you know the pains she will go through bearing this, don't you know the tears she will shed?

And you can stand it too? You claim to love her and you do the things that would silently kill her.

What then is the essence of the love,  does it fade away that easily?

Comments Reply
  • Most marriages usually crash out because most people don’t get married to the right person, people should be careful in choosing the right partner and not just rushing into marriage. The rate of broken homes and marriages is becoming rampant. Men aren’t really polygamy in nature but ending up with the wrong person always ruin every marriage.

    - Onekeneke prince - 2019-10-04 01:07:45 Quote

  • They said men are polygamous in nature which I doubt the fact,because not all men are polygamous in nature, I think they do say that because some men do have more than one girlfriend before they get married and once they get married they only marry one wife only few marries more than one so is not all men that are polygamous in nature

    - Okereke Nzubechi Divine - 2019-10-04 06:10:49 Quote

  • Perfect love casts away fear and hides multitude of sins.

    I don't think love fades I might just conclude that what he had then was just lust and he had to follow it through with marriage and that's the mistake he made. If he had loved her through from the start, when the changes began to occur, he would have communicated with her and found a solution but since it was lust that pushed him, he had to go to the next beautiful or endowed lady when the changes started occuring

    - Philip Eze - 2019-10-04 06:11:30 Quote

  • This also get me nervous, when ever I hear someone saying my mum and dad ain’t together, this,that. You loved her so you marry, after some years some issues would start pulling up and the next thing you’ll think of is to Divorce, Some people would say it’s anxiety. You should also know how to control that stuff called anxiety.  Some would even go to the extent that the wife would be the only one takihg care of the children responsible. Which cause more pain to both the children and the mother. 

    - David Ifeoluwa Vivian - 2019-10-04 07:29:41 Quote

  • This is what I hate when I heard that the woman I married is no longer living with me again I sent her parking does it mean that you don't remember that love anymore you don't remember that beautiful woman you approach that time you no longer enjoyed her the way you used to please our youth we have to stop all this rubbish and stupid act is not making sense at all she is still that woman you love she is still that woman you die for

    - Miracle Boniface - 2019-10-04 10:18:23 Quote

  • This not a new thing in men's kingdom, its the norm. Though, it might be a painful experience for women involved but there's no medication got it yet. No matter how you satisfy some Men, that thing is in their blood, the only cure they need is God. I'm mot saying we don't have honest men among us o but the ration is 1:90

    - Adebanjo. J Akintimehin - 2019-10-04 10:20:26 Quote

  • Love shouldn't be based on physical appearance, beauty shouldn't be the reason why you love somebody not even money or any material things. Your wife's appearance changed shouldn't be the reason why you will leave her for another woman even after you've bore children. 

    Men should put themselves in the position of women, it isn't her fault that she changed. You should love her more and take care of her so that she will always be looking good for you.And a broken marriage is never an option it breaks souls too. 

    - Oluwapelumi Babatunde - 2019-10-04 11:06:31 Quote

  • The fact remain the same that change is constant and the word polygamous does not go with all men,  I know of some men that are ready to go through the thick and thin with their wife while some get their faded after some time because of the wife's behavior, so not all men are polygamous. 

    - DANIEL OCHE - 2019-10-04 11:12:10 Quote

  • Honestly, the truth is, men really are polygamous in nature, the only thing that can stop that nature is God's word and true love. Most men fall into temptation and sin and then blame their wives for not being "good enough for them" when in really, they're just drawn by lust. It is very unfortunate that most women don't realise that loosing their husbands halfway through their marriage is an inevitable stage and the only way it can be avoided is through prayer and more attractive behaviors and actions towards or with their husbands, it'll stop them from serching outside their homes for love.

    - Baby Icon - 2019-10-04 11:25:47 Quote

  • The idea that men are polygamous in nature to me is not true, cos there are lots of men out there that cannot even double date talk less of having 2 or more wives. My own point of view to this post is that, we have some people who are greedy in nature. Even if they marry Miss World they will still go out there cheating.

    - RASHEED ADEBISI USMAN - 2019-10-04 11:39:35 Quote

  • That's the more reason women should learn to marry their best friend, someone who loves you,your personality and not your one who can stay even with your flaws

    - Chinenye Mirabel - 2019-10-04 12:46:59 Quote

  • Excuses, they say, are well-packaged lies. In as much as few men that went the polygamy route might be justified one way or the other, majority use this as an excuse for their lack of discipline and self-control. 

    - Olanrewaju Talabi - 2019-10-04 12:48:28 Quote

  • I don't totally agree with you that men are polygamous in nature. Don't try to stereotype it. I know so many men who value their wives very much even though the lady is imperfect. But we can say some men are polygamous in nature but I must tell you that the lady the man decided to leave lacked complete knowledge of how to capture her husband's heart. When you newly get married, it's the duty of the lady to intoxicate the man's life with her love. Don't give room for your husband to look else where. If you have totally captured the heart of your husband, I tell you the truth, nothing will ever make him look at other women because you are more than enough for him.

    - Emmanuel Agbasielo - 2019-10-04 15:35:24 Quote

  • Not all man are polygamous in nature, before a man lives a woman their may have being a lot of things that attached to it. Man are not so wicked to live the woman they thoroughly love for another woman.

    - Adejoke Oluwatosin Giwa - 2019-10-04 16:33:55 Quote

  • Men are polygamous in nature but not all men like marrying more than one wife. Some marry more wives bcos of the first wife behavior while it has been destined for some. It is women that need to know how to manage their men. So that they won't tempted. Females are more than males whether we take it or leave it

    - Abdurrauf Salmoh - 2019-10-04 16:49:58 Quote

  • Most marriages especially in Nigeria are ended by the men who end up seeing their wife as unfit for their status or being jealous of her relationship with other men. He may also lust after another woman who he sees to be better than his wife.

    So my best advice for men who are planning to get married is that they should be prepared to stay with their wife for as long as they ought to be.

    - Ogaga Ijevie - 2019-10-04 18:18:43 Quote

  • Men are polygamous in nature is not true in the sense that everyone was created differently, if anyone say men are polygamous they are trying to say all men are polygamous which is not true

    - Innocent Jonah - 2019-10-04 18:45:38 Quote

  • Not all men are polygamous in nature though

    But before we do get married we should always get to pray about it so we won't marry the wrong person because when you are with the right person your love will always stay strong 

    - Jude Ogunde - 2019-10-04 18:56:43 Quote

  • I think that the reason why marriage crashes is due to the fact that maybe they didn't get to know each other that well before they got married. Some people get married because maybe they are being pushed ir forced to get married on time. I feel that's why some marriage crashes

    - Ibrahim Olatunde - 2019-10-04 19:02:09 Quote

  • This is not true at all, this is based on different people's perspective and believe.

    Most men had used this as a medium to engaged in promiscuous life and take that saying as an excuse.

    - Hammed Jide - 2019-10-04 19:04:26 Quote

  • This really saddens my heart, is there no more true love or what?? 

    Well I think it's not about true is about marrying a man/woman of ones heart, the flesh of one's flesh then everything will be in order for you to accomplish this you have to be really close to God, wait for him to choose for you then everything would go smoothly. 

    - Olawale Isaiah - 2019-10-04 19:18:16 Quote

  • Not all men are polygamous in nature and not all men are deceitful. Some of them are just wicked , no human feeling, they are deceitful in nature. That's why many things is happening today like divorce, murder, etc. When a woman say yes to a man she has believed the way she love the man is the same way the man too loves her.  That why every woman must think very well before agreeing to mary a man.

    - Bukola Olugola - 2019-10-04 19:19:20 Quote

  • I doubt that men are polygamous in nature, I believe once the man is okay with his wife there is no need for him marrying second wife, I think the wife just need to take good care of his husband in all aspects.

    - OWOYEMI TAJUDEEN ADEDAYO - 2019-10-04 19:23:14 Quote

  • Truly love fades but purpose does not fade. Marry who you will fulfill purpose with. But is so pathetic that women go through all these horrors all in the name of marriage

    - Chimezie Anyiam - 2019-10-04 19:25:25 Quote

  • The problem is some men are married for pleasure if married a women becouse of beauty that beauty will fed away, but if you love a women true love you can live her even after you remarried

    - Abdussalam Hassan uba - 2019-10-04 19:32:18 Quote

  • There is a popular saying that if a man cheats when he is single, then he is most likely to cheat when he's married. 

    But the fact still remains that 'cheating is bad'. I think all cheating men should put themselves in the shoes of their wives. Like, what if they come back from work someday and meet someone else sleeping with their wife, how would they feel? 

    Though my advice for singe ladies out there who want to get married soon is to carefully study the man you wish to marry and make sure he's not a cheating type. So there won't be problems after you're married.

    - Shofodun Tobi - 2019-10-04 19:33:00 Quote

  • love is so beautiful it deals with the heart and emotions too. it can easily fade away depending on the type of love one have for another. i have seen couples who never gave up on each other despite all odds and i have also seen those who seperated because of very little misunderstanding. so love can easily or not fade away depending on the nature and how strong one has for another

    - Daniel Adinoyi Victor - 2019-10-04 19:38:42 Quote

  • love is so beautiful it deals with the heart and emotions too. it can easily fade away depending on the type of love one have for another. i have seen couples who never gave up on each other despite all odds and i have also seen those who seperated because of very little misunderstanding. so love can easily or not fade away depending on the nature and how strong one has for another

    - Daniel Adinoyi Victor - 2019-10-04 19:39:57 Quote

  • Marriage counselors will always ask a woman to be submissive and a man to love his wife.This is the bases to have good marriage but a woman decides to act because friends advices her then their will be a problem .for a man who does not care for his family same  thing happens.

    - Obika Foster - 2019-10-04 19:44:12 Quote

  • Yes most marriages crash because most people don't know how to manage their homes this applies to both men and women, women have to be respectful to her husband and even the inlaws likewise men suppose to do the same marriage is more than having s8x with one another 

    Good day all.

    - Okunloye Kehinde - 2019-10-04 19:46:50 Quote

  • Most humans tend to mistake lust for love.. This is a major driving force in cases like the topic. One can't say for sure why some men leave their wives or spouse for another but we have to always remember that not all men are the same. 

    - Chinemerem Maxwell - 2019-10-04 19:49:53 Quote

  • This statement is not for general but for those who wish to act according to the statement. Most marriages are not built on right platform from the start so its bound to crash on the long run

    - Oluwafemi Egbowon - 2019-10-04 20:01:21 Quote

  • This is a very delicate issue. Our world belong to men and they get away with actions like this. The question is why is it that it's the woman that is always guilty and the man innocent? Why will a man walk away from his children and expect the woman to take care of them? What a selfish and unreasonable thing to do. Interestingly our society excuses them. 

    Women, please learn to take good care of yourselves, do your best as a mother and wife and never be a liability. Your commitment to your marriage should not be compromised.

    - Winifred Aluko - 2019-10-04 20:02:34 Quote

  • Well firstly, it isn’t right to stereotype, not all men are polygamous in nature, the fact that marriages do not work out after the couples have gotten married is most times the fault of both parties, knowing your partner before getting married to him or her is very essential so as to avoid the complaints of “this is not the man or woman I married” “ you were not like this before we got married” and so on, the problem most times isn’t not knowing your partner, and the issue of men being polygamous is wrong because not all men are polygamous.

    - Frank Bethel - 2019-10-04 20:05:46 Quote

  • My dad travelled out and left us for 15years along that 15 years he met another woman abroad and got married and gave birth my mum asked if he was still in love but he told her if she's fed up she should look for another man to my opinion I told my dad I'll never follow your step but I'll make it and be a good husband to my wife by God's grace my mom moved on being a single mom and she's okay and we're alright with or without him 

    - Sodipo Olamilekan - 2019-10-04 20:13:47 Quote

  • Marriage is a Holy Matrimony but people don't keep it holy any more. Men are polygamous in nature but that was in olden days. Men of this days , one man, one wife. Marriage is for better and for worse,. Women also do leave their husbands for another man. That's bad. I think we should treat marriage with respect.

    - Onwa Matthew - 2019-10-04 20:20:45 Quote

  • The idea that men are polygamous in nature is a relative term. While some are and some are not. The values some societies attach to marriage promotes polygamy. That is why marriage is a very crucial decision to make. If the love is there rather than fade away needs to be renewed. Why most marriages don't last is the expectations hoped for are not seen and therefore becomes boring to the partner.

    - Henry Moore - 2019-10-04 20:29:11 Quote

  • Probably, he didn't love your mum. I know that's hard to belive but I think that's it. He was probably attracted to her physical beauty and when she starts aging and it's starts fading, the attraction wasn't there again. I'm sorry but sometimes it's better to leave than stay and make it a living hell. Not all men are like this though so don't worry and pray yours is different 

    - Qudirah Alimi - 2019-10-04 20:29:32 Quote

  • Trust nobody, there is nothing called true love again. We ladies should keep praying to God that we should get married to someone who will treat us well even more than our imagination

    - Lady Bhee - 2019-10-04 20:45:55 Quote

  • This is one thing with men of now adays. They propose love to a woman and after the woman might felt for them, they will forget all that love, the love words they said to her and start making out things that will kill them silently.

    - Nwosu Vincent - 2019-10-04 20:47:10 Quote

  • If a man truly love someone he does everything to make it happen but sometimes people grow apart and the love they ones had fade just like always there are people you thought you could never leave but today you don't even see eyeball to eyeball, when that happens it is easier to let go than hold on 

    - Okpako Rukevwe - 2019-10-04 20:48:05 Quote

  • Very sorry for your pain dear.  Must times, some men are very bad in nature and why some are good in nature that's depends on the one u meet. The reasons for relationships before marriage is to totally understand one and other and see if you both are fit to for marriage but must time, both parties don't really have time to study each other well before marriage. Lack of understanding can lead to this and lack of love a can also lead to this too.

    - ogbebor Christopher - 2019-10-04 20:49:51 Quote

  • By human nature, men are polygamous for many known and unknown reasons. 

    That's the reason God commanded man to love and respect his wife, because man has the tendency to love and respect other women once he sees what he likes or loves in them. Another reason he must leave his parents and CLEAVE to his woman.

    It's difficult for men to stick to one woman, it's just adamic. However, as it's the responsibilities of the men to love, respect and cleave to their wife, wives should also be submissive, for it's in doing this, she will draw her man love and respect to herself alone.

    - TUNDE ADEWUYI - 2019-10-04 20:51:02 Quote

  • Marriage is  very important in the life of human,but is people that do they are like. But if you married I think that you love the person that you married not that you don't love her,for me I can married to person that I don't love.

    - Samson Ayankeye - 2019-10-04 20:59:40 Quote

  • That's y u couples have to always renew their love evrydag cause marriage can at time be hard boring and so on... But once u continue to renew the strength of your love it gives them the chance not to see each others mistake and so on.. Through this I've renewal stuff they can move mountains and face anything that might come theor ways 

    - Mary Olawoyin - 2019-10-04 21:12:03 Quote

  • What is missing there is lack of trust, prayers e.t.c if I could say lack of home training each human  need God intervention though we are made by God yet we still  need him that's what many people  don't know.. The  Coming  together  of a man and a woman  is another  new bounding  you need a bit privacy  from your family  it's left for you to plan how your home will  be.. And another idea is that slot of people  do get married  to people  they don't love.. 

    - Wilfred Ogidan - 2019-10-04 21:13:46 Quote

  • Men are polygamous true but then when most people confess their love aat first for each other they never dream of divorce or wanting to leave each other, but then as they get to relate better and see each other in their most plain manner and stand they most times live each other less which is often a cause if none or less communication after all they are from two different worlds and upbringing then misunderstanding sets in and they cant stand each other thereby leading to divorce, so though men are polygamous but it's a relationship that involves two persons so when breakup and divorce occurs the both has parts played to arrive at where they are. 

    - COURAGE AGBONS - 2019-10-04 21:17:20 Quote

  • Not all men are polygamous in nature but 40% of them are cause of the kind of friends they keep. There's a proverb that says;"show me your friend and I will tell you who you are". Some of these men loves their wives though, and it's not like they have an affair with someone else before marriage or after, it just the influence of the bad friends that sorrounds them. That why we the wives should be watchful of the kind of people our husbands mingle with and try our best to caution them before they turn from good to bad.

    - Moses Deborah - 2019-10-04 21:26:43 Quote

  • Real men stand for their wife in season and out of season. True love is a measure of understanding and acceptability. Men need to come to the knowledge of the fact the their wife need a husband that will accept and understand her at all times.

    - Prince Paragon - 2019-10-04 21:31:46 Quote

  • Is  not your fault my brother,lack of patients have drived alots of family in our societies today,what  we all need to do is to learnt some bitter lessons from here and stop pretending like we know all,we must decide within us to marry whoever we wants to marry to avoid unecessary devorse.

    - Christopher Gwaze - 2019-10-04 21:33:18 Quote

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