We Both Cheated, Can Things Ever Be Normal?

My passion is music. I took my music career very serious, am married for 2 years now, my husband has been very supportive towards my career. I met my husband through my best friend, he's my partner,  my adviser and also my manager.

We are all like one big family, me, my husband, my best friend and his wife. We are mostly together every weekend for lunch and hangouts if am not busy with my tour. Me and my best friend has been together for 6 years in the music business.  We go on tour together,  we are so close that anytime we are on tour we use the same room ( no strings attached). After sometime, my husband started acting funny at home,  he go out to pick his calls, I was getting suspicious. I summoned the courage to check his phone one day, I was shocked to see him wooing another lady. I was bitter,  I challenge him about it,  he complained I hardly had time for him. To be sincere have always tried my best to keep the family going. 

I was so heartbroken,  my best friend called me to inform me we have an invite the next day. I agreed to see him the next day. After the show, he noticed my mood, he asked what's wrong,  being my best friend I opened up to him crying. He pet me and hugged me before I knew it he kissed me and something happened between us that night. 

I feel so bad the next day, I hated myself. I left immediately for home to confess to my husband but I met the shocked of my life when I got home. I saw my husband with another woman on our matrimonial bed. I fainted. ..

Woke up at the hospital,  saw my husband by my bed on his knees begging me...what should I do?

Comments Reply
  • Of course forgive him and also confess to him and take a vow never to cheat together also make out more time for him or you go on tour together sometimes. May God keep your marriage.

    - Orekoya Tobi - 2019-09-19 19:47:04 Quote

  • The truth is you intended to pay him back, what happened between you and your friend is not an accident. If he is pleading with you you have to accept him and confess too, though it is not easy.

    - Olabisi Babatunde - 2019-09-19 19:49:01 Quote

  • You gave room to the devil by laying priority on your work than family. Family first, work follow. You just made the same mistake. Open up to him,beg each other,forgive each other,return to being committed to each other. Pray God to affect your home and make it blissful. It shall be well.

    - Arowomole Samuel - 2019-09-19 19:52:01 Quote

  • You have nothing else to do than to confess your own sin to him and make ammends so that he will not have the urge to go looking for another woman due to loneliness

    - Emmanuel Okwechime - 2019-09-19 19:52:14 Quote

  • Well in this case, your husband has cheated and so have you, and with his excuse, you're not the type that has time for him. And with the way things are going between you and your partner, your husband might be getting jealous but not saying it out, so all that may be the reason he did what he did. And now you also, because  the type of closeness you have with your partner, he's the one you talk to, and it led to you making out. So now you both have cheated so i suggest you accept his plea, and try to get your partner out of your relationship, then things might get well later

    - oladokun Hassan olamide - 2019-09-19 19:52:42 Quote

  • To me, you too can never trust each other again because that scar of cheating will never be erased so I advice you take things the way it will go from now and never complain

    - Obalu Johnkennedy Kenechukwu - 2019-09-19 19:54:08 Quote

  • You as a lady should forgive your husband because two of you made a mistake and you two should promise yourselves that nothing can put your love asunder.

    Shower him with love and make out time for yourself and your family.


    - Bardi Charles - 2019-09-19 19:59:55 Quote

  • The scenario really looks even, you'av both wrong each other, am sure things can still work out between you two but repetition of the same thing will ruin your marriage you should place your family above your career to avoid reoccurence.

    - Olabanji Lebile - 2019-09-19 20:00:04 Quote

  • What is good for the goose is not always good for the gander. You should go on your knees too apologizing and confessing your faults too. 

    I am sure you both will forgive each other and for the records its not advisable to have a vest friend outside your husband

    - Charles Igala - 2019-09-19 20:00:30 Quote

  • Let him know you cheated on him also, so both of you can bare your minds out to each other, after that you can ask for his forgiveness and him also so that you both can start on a new note.

    - Onekeneke prince - 2019-09-19 20:03:17 Quote

  • Wao! It's indeeda serious dillema. From your version of the story, your cheating wasn't a deliberate maybe the same for your husband. Try and listen to his version if it's something worth believing or otherwise.

    - Oluwatobi Tella - 2019-09-19 20:06:19 Quote

  • You have no other choice but to forgibe your husband and also confess your own to him and then the  both of can move on and also make sure you try to akways have time for him.

    - Joshua Owofade - 2019-09-19 20:06:29 Quote

  • What you can do now is for both of you to sit down and talk, heart to heart about how to fix your broken relationship. It will be easier since both of you have realized your mistakes. 

    Best of luck in your marriage!

    - Adebisi John - 2019-09-19 20:10:18 Quote

  • These things happen, you just have to forgive him and tell him also about what happened between you and your best friend now that the matter is still fresh then leave the rest for God.

    - Okorie Chidinma - 2019-09-19 20:15:08 Quote

  • Everyone will grieve and heal from infidelity at their own pace. Some will be able to move past this relatively quickly while it might be more difficult for others. It will also depend on the severity of the situation.

    Take a deep breath explain everything to him, don't tell lies, thing will be normal

    - Ojelade Oluwatosin - 2019-09-19 20:19:45 Quote

  • For me I think being honest is the greatest joy to a happy relationship either married or single, you have to open up to him about what happened but if you decide not to its gonna be a really hard cross to bear because it's something that will hunt you for the rest of your life so without more words tell him what happened.

    If I was your husband, I will forgive you and our life goes on but with restrictions from that friend of yours because he took great advantage of you! 

    - Olatayo Olaoluwa - 2019-09-19 20:19:49 Quote

  • In my opinion I would advice you to forgive him after which you will tell him what you did yourself so as not to find out himself in a way you will regret, next thing you do is leave that best friend of yours or rather still tell him not to try it again and you close your distance with him for good so as to keep your family together.

    - Ayomiposi Ebenezer - 2019-09-19 20:19:50 Quote

  • The devil you have known is better than the angel you don't know, the best thing is just to confess what you  did too. Then if you still love and trust each other after confessing and despite all the circumstances you have both went through, then continue the relationship. 

    - Oyediran Joshua - 2019-09-19 20:20:57 Quote

  • Forgive him at that instance and after everything is calm, inform him of your mistake too. As at then, he wont  have choice than to forgive you too because he initially started it with the attitude of going out to pick calls which weighed you down and made your friend notice your mood and wasted no time to take advantage of that. He will forgive you. But then, you have to cut ties with that friend of yours. And allow things go normal the way it used to be.  Love is patience and it is for better for worse.

    - George Justus - 2019-09-19 20:20:59 Quote

  • You should apologize to each other and make a promise to one another to not cheat on each other and also work on your relationship. Make time out for each other. The only reason your husband is cheated is because he felt alone because you’re not giving he the needed attention. 

    - Toritseju Omosivwe - 2019-09-19 20:23:30 Quote

  • If only the both og you will agree to work together, and with tfhe help of prayer, things will work again.

    But if you won't carry prayer along and talk to each other, things will not work ooo

    - Victor Nebo - 2019-09-19 20:25:47 Quote

  • U actually didn't plan to cheat on him with ur best friend so you tell him about what happened then you should also forgive him because you neglected him when he needed you. Then after that u make a vow of faithfulness that is all.  

    - Femi Onifade - 2019-09-19 20:29:03 Quote

  • life is all about forgiveness. 

    In this case the both of you cheated although your husband is not aware of yours so the option is to forgive him and also regret your actions, forget about your past and begin a new and happy home together. 

    - Kabiru Abdulhakeem - 2019-09-19 20:29:39 Quote

  • It is very unlikely that you two will trust each other again because at the back of each other's mind you each know you have the capacity to cheat.....but with enough work you two might be able to move past it 

    - Austine Nzeamalu - 2019-09-19 20:34:51 Quote

  • First and foremost confess to him to about the mistake between you and your best friend, then both of you should forgive yourselves and move forward from everything...  Never talk about it again not even to anyone and never use it against yourselves that way your relationship will work

    - Adetimehin Rhoda - 2019-09-19 20:40:06 Quote

  • First and foremost confess to him to about the mistake between you and your best friend, then both of you should forgive yourselves and move forward from everything...  Never talk about it again not even to anyone and never use it against yourselves that way your relationship will work

    - Adetimehin Rhoda - 2019-09-19 20:40:18 Quote

  • At this point, you guys really blew it. You should try to forgive one another and move on. Nothing in the past can be undone, it is already a done deal. Promise yourselves another chance to deepen your love.

    - Victor Ifeanyi - 2019-09-19 20:40:57 Quote

  • Accept  his apology  and apologize  to him too tell him the truth and try to adapt  to all Wat he will wants you to be doing  ....spend more time with him

    - Kelvin ugbekile - 2019-09-19 20:45:33 Quote

  • As the saying goes two wrong can't make it right. You were hurt because he cheated on you and you were vulnerable with your best friend and he took advantage of you. My advice is for you guys to forgive each other and continue your life. You have to now adjust your life and create more time for your husband and family.

    - Henry Moore - 2019-09-19 20:46:47 Quote

  • truth is, you and your friend have always been emotionally connected, so it wasn't a mistake, you were subconsciously getting back at him thinking it will make you feel better. point is, you admit your wrong and your husband do, forgive each other and protect your marriage

    - Lawanson Olamide - 2019-09-19 20:47:12 Quote

  • You have to confess to your husband and seek for his forgiveness,then you also have to forgive your husband, and also break the bons between then friend of yours becaus it is obvious such friend can break your relationship,if he took advantage of you now who knows what he can do to your marriage in the future,and pray to God to help your relationship with your husband 

    - Agbozie Daniel - 2019-09-19 20:58:48 Quote

  • What happened between you and your friend that night happened because you had it in mind that he was cheating on you and you felt like paying him back. Now that it has happened and he is back on his knees, confess to him too and resolve everything once, so that you won't end up living with the guilt in you.

    - Kehinde Oladipupo - 2019-09-19 21:05:41 Quote

  • You are both guilty of the offence and he still had the heart as a good husband to take you to the hospital and wait until tou awoke juat to beg for your forgiveness i think you should just go ahead and forgive yourselves.....marriage is meant to be till death do you both part,i dont believe in marrying another person after a divorce

    - Ogbonnia Onyesoh - 2019-09-19 21:06:58 Quote

  • You are both guilty of the offence and he still had the heart as a good husband to take you to the hospital and wait until tou awoke juat to beg for your forgiveness i think you should just go ahead and forgive yourselves.....marriage is meant to be till death do you both part,i dont believe in marrying another person after a divorce

    - Ogbonnia Onyesoh - 2019-09-19 21:09:26 Quote

  • Its best if you just tell her. Come out clean. You have nothing else to do than to confess your own sin to him and make ammends so that he will not have the urge to go looking for another woman due to loneliness. If you know you care about him, amend things quickly.

    - Olalemi Josiah - 2019-09-19 21:18:36 Quote

  • It's very difficult but you both should let go of each other mistake or past attitude and be open up to each other, apologize and Don't let pride come inside of you and as the wife make you husband understand that both of you need to live together as husband and wife and forget what might have happened in the past.

    - Chukwuemeka Ogba - 2019-09-19 21:20:41 Quote

  • You have to forgive him and the both of you will promise each other never to cheat on each again, the devil is at work and you both have to over come it. 

    - Jimoh Bamidele - 2019-09-19 21:21:53 Quote

  • Yes, things can be back to normal just apologize and move on. Love and relationships requires understanding to grow. So if this factor is not giving understanding they won't be issues at the long run

    - Chukwura Samuel - 2019-09-19 21:31:06 Quote

  • It will be in the best interest of both parties to separate for a while and reassess the core of the relationship. You need to find that spark that connected you guys at the beginning.

    - Gbenga Majekodunmi - 2019-09-19 21:37:02 Quote

  • What has happened has happened Family First you should know that, you gave room for all of this to happen and you should be the one to correct it, confess to your husband tell him how sorry you are and he also should regret his actions and tell you he is sorry forget the past work on the present and build a brighter future and as your best friend it's going to be a rough one to stay away from him but seek for your husband advice and act on it.

    - Osho Oluwapelumi Isaiah - 2019-09-19 21:44:31 Quote

  • I think you should confess before he finds out himself and both of you should trash it out between yourselves. And try and not let your best friend wife hear it from you, let them take care of themselves.

    - Oluwadamilola Adeniyi - 2019-09-19 21:48:05 Quote

  • You just have to forgive him to keep your family. Meanwhile you still have to confess to your husband too. Lass lass, you both need to ask for forgiveness from God cos you both have sinned and violated the marital vows

    - Oludare Olushola - 2019-09-19 21:48:20 Quote

  • The only problem that disturb marriage is not having time for eachother either on b*d or financial need,,, both of you are guilty because if your husband too have enough attention for you, you won't go to his friend and also your own is that you have feelings for the guys that lead to having s*x together..

    Both of you need to confess,  beg eachother and let bye gone be bye gone...  

    - Yahaya Solihudeen Ajiboye - 2019-09-19 21:48:52 Quote

  • There's no need of being too angry about it although it is heart breaking, why I said that you should not take it to heart much is you too has a confession to make, so you must tell him what happened to you and stop treavling with him alone.

    - Maxwell Nwachi - 2019-09-19 21:48:59 Quote

  • The entire point of a relationship,” it’s giving someone the power to destroy you, but trusting that they won’t. The day you will fall in love, you would understand how it feels to be in love and how fragile it makes you to your heart 💜.if you truly love him , Forgive him and take a well deserved vacation together. All the best.

    - Ituma Blessing - 2019-09-19 21:54:56 Quote

  • But that doesn’t mean it’s actually gotten easier to move forward when one partner cheats on another. If there is one thing experts agree on when it comes to dealing with infidelity, it’s that while recovery is possible, rebuilding a healthy relationship is hard work.

    - shafiu salihu - 2019-09-19 21:55:20 Quote

  • Forgive him and also confess your deeds for transparency sake..this might cause a breach on you Trust for each other,but you'll need to work on it.

    As for if things will be back to normal..I'll say with time,since time they say heals..give it time gradually it will be sweeter than before..

    - Deborah joel - 2019-09-19 21:55:35 Quote

  • The way things are now, he hasn’t found out that you cheated too. Tell him yourself and watch his reaction. I’m sure he’ll understand how much it hurt you to see him on your matrimonial bed with another lady. Still you guys can work things out since the problem hasn’t already been identified

    - Emmanuel Korodele - 2019-09-19 21:59:12 Quote

  • Well..I will say such things always happen in relationship but how we relate to them will determine our level of love and maturity. Personally I will say such moments are defining moments. That can actually make the relationship stronger hence both of you have notice your faults ,once you work on them you can be certain the love will even flourish more than before,..but if you do the mistake of trying to use the opportunity and get at him .well u might win now..but how long will you continue?.. Your family is very important problems should make it strong not week..but I will advice you let him know its not him but both of you who have failed.. And show willingness to make changes and grow for each other ...

    - Emmanuel Simon - 2019-09-19 22:10:10 Quote

  • He's your husband and you're together for better for worse. Open up to him about your cheating too and you both should promise each other that it should never repeat itself again. Also cut all ties with your best friend in the process because he should not have done that especially because of his status to you and also having a wife at home. And lastly make time for your husband because it seems that has been the root of this whole problem in the first place. Do all these and May God keep your marriage. 

    - Adeboyejo Daniel - 2019-09-19 22:11:56 Quote

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