Who Is To Be Blamed? My Parents Or Me

By - - [ Relationship ]

I come from a family where my parents waited for 12 years before they could give birth to me. I won't say I was over pampered but I wasn't given freedom.

Throughout my stay in secondary school my parents organized a bus to convey me. I was not allowed to come out of the gate. I only go out when we all are going out as a family. I told my mum one day I want to visit a friend and she said that's where they will be teaching you rubbish. I was scared of this thing called pregnancy as my mum always ring it to my hear also my Dad said if get pregnant I will be disowned. 

I had a boyfriend in school that will stink to our house at night to see me. He lives close to my house. I had to tip the gate man so he won't tell my mum. She was over protective only shouting on me when she sees me with guys.

I fell in love with him as he was the only friend I have. I felt like my mum hated me.

One day he came to my house and one thing led to another and we kissed. Wow that was mind blowing.

After secondary school I got admission to University and it was like a chain before taken off me even though my parents comes to check me every weekend and there are times I must go home.

I met another guy in school. I fell in love, he came to my room one night and we had s*x. That was literally my first s*x.

I was surprised. Why as my mum been preventing me from having this thing. I ain't pregnant.

I never knew it was more than that. 

I had s*x deliberately because i wanted to surprise my mum and also want to know how s*x is.

1 month later I discovered I was pregnant. My school boyfriend bought me a drug and I took it. After 3 hours of taking the drugs I started bleeding heavily. I was rushed to the hospital where it was discovered the drug I took was dangerous for my health and they had to remove my womb. I cried out my life. 

My mum gave me a dirty slap and my dad walked out.

I was left speechless.

My mum never explained this to me.

I never knew this is how it is.

Now I have damaged my womb because I wanted to surprise my mum.

Please who is at fault???

Am i at fault or my parents especially my mum.

 

Please if you are typing   S*E*X , just type s8x or s3x or s*e... Else your comment will be deleted.

Who is to be blamed? My parents or me - By George Belema - 2019-09-11 11:24:25

I think both the parents and the child which is the person in Question should be blamed for what happened, I have met a lot of people who are caged at home and once they have a little opportunity like going to the university where their parents can't see them, they go wild, parents should start trusting their kids because this is a better approach compared to looking them out of the world

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Who is to be blamed? My parents or me - By ifijie George - 2019-09-11 11:35:30

Usually parents are protective and most times they won't tell us the reason for being over protective,on this issue you're to be blamed cause parents won't tell you everything, they're something's you just have to learn on your own and when confused you ask questions about them.

If you had asked your parents the reason for them being over protective or the reason for them avoiding a male in your house it wouldn't have gotten to this extent but now you have yourself to blame

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Who is to be blamed? My parents or me - By Sandra Owoeye - 2019-09-11 11:36:37

Parents nowadays over protect kids without intensely enlighten them on why they are doing so,thereby their kids feel hated.Also,u tried to surprise your mum but ended up surprising yourself and destroying your life. You don't get to be judged actually, I just hope you make the best out of your life

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Who is to be blamed? My parents or me - By Chioke Sophia - 2019-09-11 11:38:50

If I to place my own judgement,the parents is at fault because they didn't give her the opportunity at the first time,if is like they did the issue won't end up the way it did

But in a normal sense she herself is also at fault after the advice from the parents she still went ahead and disgrace herself by disobeying them

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Who is to be blamed? My parents or me - By Maxwell Nwachi - 2019-09-11 11:42:59

Every parents want the best for their children and from them, but in this issue I will  not blame so much nor your  parents because every child from the age of 10-12 has entered the  adolescent stage (that's the tennage) at this age they want to try everything and do everything on their own, because to  they  are  big boys and girls not knowing that what an adult see  while sitting down if child clambering the tallest tree he/she can't see anything. Please my advice to is the did has been done, don't kill yourself  only  go to  God and ask for his forgiveness and to your parents and live to the glory of God ,I'm so  sure that he will heal your  wounds and also  give you a new womb. There's nothing God Almighty cannot not do. 

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Who is to be blamed? My parents or me - By ELISHA RIMAMSIFUN EYAB - 2019-09-11 12:10:30

You are at fault. You have your self to be blame because your parents needed the best for you. What an old man sees sitting a child can not see it even on top of the mountain. Mother's should make their children feel at home with them to be able to discuss any issues with them let them see both the gud and the bad site of life. Parents at times also contrivcon to their children's misbehavior.

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Who is to be blamed? My parents or me - By Onyeka Simon - 2019-09-11 12:34:54

Firstly two wrongs cannot make a right,what do i mean? Parents generally especially in africa should take it as their responsibility to teach their children about sex education. Over protection of a child should aslo be reduced , parents should allow their children socialize with others especially his or her age group not keeping them entirely indoors because one day they will still go out from your care to propobaly a higher institution and there the child can turn into another entirely different individual negatively.

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Who is to be blamed? My parents or me - By Goga Elizabeth - 2019-09-11 12:45:47

Two wrongs can never make a right.

The fact we weren't treated well by our parents doesn't necessarily mean once we get liberty we should be wayward... And also the parents should not have walked out on her. .

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Who is to be blamed? My parents or me - By Anthony Emeka - 2019-09-11 13:35:14

We must always know that whatever decisions we take affects us alone..On the other hand, the parents had the job of teaching her thimgs about life and at the same time being protective...From this story, i think the parents never enlightened on these things,because asides preventing her from being exposed, they should have also taught her things to build up her psych...I have heard a similar story elsewhere..

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Who is to be blamed? My parents or me - By Nnalue Augustine ifeanyi - 2019-09-11 13:56:44

Parents should be blamed because of over protective to their daughter because too much of everything is bad  He who wants to help himself should help himself, no matter what. Let a child know everything and choose the one to follow. Parents should advise their children and trust them, thanks  

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Who is to be blamed? My parents or me - By Emeshiama Onyekachi Gideon - 2019-09-11 14:02:32

Your parents, mother especially will take 8O% of the blame for not educating you on that aspect , Then you will take the rest part  of the blame because you can't expect me to believe that a university student in this jet age does not know a thing or two about stuff like this nowadays even primary school pupils will lecture you on this kind of things 

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Who is to be blamed? My parents or me - By Bolutife Olanrewaju - 2019-09-11 14:50:55

Preventing a child from making friends or denying her freedom is not the way to make a child Not be promiscuous, in fact it makes her anticipates the experience and thats what happened to this lady.. So the solution here is for her parents to right their wrong concerning her younger ones and help this first one out of this trauma

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Who is to be blamed? My parents or me - By Sodeeq Sowande - 2019-09-11 14:55:21

I swear I don't know what to say but all of them is at fault and her mom is trying to protect her life but it much and she's the one that has a lot of blame because we guy are desperate there is nothing we can not do to tease those girls because they all have little brain I will just congratulate you on your womb you lost because that what so lady's want

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Who is to be blamed? My parents or me - By Chrislavish Juiceback - 2019-09-11 15:10:57

I don't blame the child,  I blame the parents.  We are all living in an inquisitive world,  the things we are not told are the things we eagerly want to you know. If the parents had told her or taught her about sex education she won't be in the condition of losing her womb. For we future parents let's not hide the world from our kids, let them know the consequences of the immoral act they exhibit. 

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Who is to be blamed? My parents or me - By Ishaya Tanko - 2019-09-11 15:11:32

What an old man sees sitting a child can not see it even on top of the mountain. Mother's should make their children feel at home with them to be able to discuss any issues with them let them see both the gud and the bad site of life.

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Who is to be blamed? My parents or me - By Abdullahi Nurudeen Olayiwola - 2019-09-11 15:12:19

..From this story, i think the parents never enlightened on these things,because asides preventing her from being exposed, they should have also taught her things to build up her psych...I have heard a similar story elsewhere.. the other hand, the parents had the job of teaching her thimgs about life and at the same time being protective...From this story, i think the parents never enlightened on these things,because asides preventing her from being exposed, they should have also taught her things to build up her psych...I have heard a similar story

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Who is to be blamed? My parents or me - By Godstime Ezarevah - 2019-09-11 15:12:54

The parents are to be blaimed for not teaching the child sex education. Even though as a parent you must not be overprotective,  let your child have friends just monitor the company she keeps and her movement .The child is to be blamed also. Even though she was always at home ,she must have heard about premarital sex and it's consequences. The parents and the child are to be blamed. The parents should accept the child and learn from their mistakes. 

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Who is to be blamed? My parents or me - By Adade Oluwatobiloba - 2019-09-11 15:14:28

I agree with everyone that said the parents should take it as their responsibility to teach their children about sex education. But we the children also have apart to play, in the sense that when a child starts keeping secret from his/her parent that's where the problem starts from. At least a child should have one person in the family (father /mother ) that he/she can seek advice from instead we keep to ourselves all in the name of "I'm matured enough to take care of myself" that statement has destroyed so many lifes. To me both party's (the parent nd the child) is to be blame.

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Who is to be blamed? My parents or me - By Paul Agba - 2019-09-11 15:19:06

Well, this one is deep, first both parties are to blame,

The parents for just secluding the child and not explaining the real world to her, instead they tried to shield her from it (which never helps) 

Secondly The child, we go to school to learn and aside surprising her mum, she should have known what she was about to take before taking it. 

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Who is to be blamed? My parents or me - By Okoli Uchechukwu Valentine - 2019-09-11 15:21:49

From my own perspective, you are to be blamed because you are 100% responsible for your actions as an adult. Your action was a well thought out process in which you deliberately engaged in sexual intercourse against your mum's advice.

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Who is to be blamed? My parents or me - By Adepoju Khadijat - 2019-09-11 15:28:48

You're at fault. You ought to have listened to your parent. I'm sure in this present age, no child will deny the fact he/she doesn't know anything about sex, pregnancy or abortion. They wanted the best for you, it's just that they ought to have enlightened you more.

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Who is to be blamed? My parents or me - By Ishaya Tanko - 2019-09-11 15:31:21

Usually parents are protective and most times they won't tell us the reason for being over protective,on this issue you're to be blamed cause parents won't tell you everything, they're something's you just have to learn on your own and when confused you ask questions about them.

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Who is to be blamed? My parents or me - By Michael Damilola - 2019-09-11 15:34:24

The parents is to be blamed, because keeping your daughter indoor doesn't  prevent her from getting pregnancy, as a good parents you have to taking good care of her and give her educative advices about pregnancy.

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Who is to be blamed? My parents or me - By Oreoluwa Amusan - 2019-09-11 15:37:19

From what I can observe here the parent is at fault because enough reason was not given to the child why she should not have s3x..oyher things can fall in such as sexually transmitted disease...I feel like they could have educated her more on the risks, also prevention,how to avoid unwanted pregnancy using CDs...pare par should try now adays to educate their children more on sexual education not just if s boy should touch u, u will get pregnant it's more than that

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Who is to be blamed? My parents or me - By Precious Igho - 2019-09-11 15:39:39

You are actually all at fault, but we will firstly blame your parents. Parents should learn to teach their children why they should abstain from s*x, explain the dangers to them and let them choose to abstain from it. 

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Who is to be blamed? My parents or me - By Olatunji Christiana - 2019-09-11 15:42:12

The parents are to be blamed,they should have explained the dangers of having sex before marriage and how to protect yourself from getting pregnant 

And you are also at fault,you claim to learned so you will have been taught things like this in school or you can just make your own findings 

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Who is to be blamed? My parents or me - By PETER MMADUEKE - 2019-09-11 15:44:59

I have said it repeatedly on the need for parents to engage their children in S*x education  and related discussions to have them get good knowledge of it when not done appropriately. 

Ok, you can imagine what this young lass in question is passing through because she was not told.  I personally chose to blame the girl for taking such a big risk, without staying open to her mother who should have been her best friend. 

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Who is to be blamed? My parents or me - By Udevu Kelvin - 2019-09-11 15:45:18

I won't blame her parent it not their fault someone who had looked for a child for years did all that just to proctect her 

It the fault of the girl who forget the reason she entered school now lifeitself has surprise her

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Who is to be blamed? My parents or me - By Adekonojo Titilayo - 2019-09-11 15:49:55

I will blame the parent, there is something people don't understand ,don't give half details about something ,rather the full details .Incomplete informationis dangerous. I will also blame the child, how will she take drugs without knowing what it contains.

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Who is to be blamed? My parents or me - By Regina Okwara - 2019-09-11 15:59:45

I think her parents are at fault. It's one thing for you to tell your child to do something and it's another reason to explain it to her why you want her to do it. If her mum had explained the consequences to her,I get she wouldn't have made such mistake. All the kept in her was fear. Fear of staying with guys,fear of having boyfriend,fear of pregnancy. She should have been like a best friend to her. M sure that if her mum was more friendly,before having her first sex ,she would have informed her mum

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Who is to be blamed? My parents or me - By Nathan Blasu - 2019-09-11 16:06:25

Actually all of you are at fault here but I'd say you're more at fault . Because your mom actually warned you about getting pregnant and you after getting pregnant attempted to abort it and your mom was at fault for not giving you detailed warnings 

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Who is to be blamed? My parents or me - By Chukwuemeka Ekelaka - 2019-09-11 16:08:49

the parents are totally at fault, when you are overprotective of your child this is always the end point or maybe depression leading to suicide. Parents should be free with their ward, allow them to live and then you guide them, put movies in relation to their age as they grow ,gist with them matters you know by their age they will be itching to hear them as such when their class mate or friends are talking on such issues they will be safe and protected even when parents aren't there. So for me bad parenting, the parents are totally to be blame. 

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Who is to be blamed? My parents or me - By Kelvin Osazoduwa - 2019-09-11 16:09:52

Wow, this seems interest but really pathetic to me.

The goes to the parents for not educating her properly about sex education at home.

As my elders will always say parents are our first teacher before the teachers at school.

It is the duty of the parents to educate their wards about the sensitive part of their like penis, Virgina, the breast, the scrotal sac and the consequences of sex before marriage not preventing the child not to go close to their opposite sex partner.

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Who is to be blamed? My parents or me - By Michael Olawoye - 2019-09-11 16:10:17

Its your fault but mostly your mother's fault too. Being overprotective doesn't mean the child won't be corrupt. Instead it ruins the child more. My parents always tell me not to sleep with a girl but if a condition occurs when I have to, I must use protection to prevent unwanted pregnancy. There's one thing called s3x education. Parents are supposed to let their kids know about things like this. That's one of the reasons why the whites are still leading Nigeria. Some whites let their kids do it and give them warning about the dangers of it. Moreover if a child is overprotected ,by the time he/she goes out to the world,  any attitude that child sees,  the easily adapt to it and that's what is ruining most parents in Nigeria today

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Who is to be blamed? My parents or me - By Marvellous Olatunbosun - 2019-09-11 16:16:02

Well, I will say both parties are at fault I.e the parents most especially the monther and even you. Now this is it, parents are supposed to serve as guide not as a fear or something equivalent. Fear led to you tipping your gateman and sneaking you boyfriend in. If your parents had been a guide instead of instilling fear which made you think they hated you then such might not have happened.

Also, in your own case, I feel you should have asked questions before thinking of surprising. You don't plan out a surprise when you don't know what it could turn out to.

Just an humble submission.

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Who is to be blamed? My parents or me - By Oloniyo Moses - 2019-09-11 16:18:36

Well! !!it's  quite painful. If I will say reality every one is to be blamed. Mummy and daddy is to be blamed because she didn't  throw  light as per the reason why she doesn't want you around guys. 

And you carry the biggest blame because you knew quite well that what you did wasn't  okay morally despite all guidings from both parents. 

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Who is to be blamed? My parents or me - By OLUWATOSIN ADEOYE - 2019-09-11 16:18:50

In my own understanding, the parents is at fault because they are the one that cause the problem for her. If she have opportunity to play with people out side or free with Guy's, she will not allow her boyfriend to have s3x with her because she will be afraid of pregnancy even her parents. Too much monitor a lady cause so many things for them. 

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Who is to be blamed? My parents or me - By Thankgod Alabi - 2019-09-11 16:19:32

I will blame you and you alone. Why go to such extent and keep your own mum in the dark. You disappointed  their expectations in you. 

I still feel, they ought to have given you s*x education within the lenghts they find fit, it would have helped you stay safe. 

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Who is to be blamed? My parents or me - By Caleb Okekwu - 2019-09-11 16:19:47

Both her and the parents are at fault. Is best you let children know the dangers involved in sex, aside pregnancy, STI also is there make them know all this and even how pregnancy results, not just telling them not to get pregnant. If possible teach them safe sex.

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Who is to be blamed? My parents or me - By Ifanyichukwu Laurence - 2019-09-11 16:23:03

This is why it is very important that as children get to puberty age in life,their parents ought to teach them about sex,its dangers and how to abstain from it till they are married.Though I blame her parents,I also blame her for what she did because ignorance of the law is not an excuse.I wish every young girl will learn from this ugly story.

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Who is to be blamed? My parents or me - By Boluwatife Olugbenro - 2019-09-11 16:26:02

I think both parent and child are at fault. For the parent, overprotection is not the right thing, they should have educated her on the good and bad of life, give her moral support and shoe good examples as parents, the child should also have been obedient, even if the parents where overdoing it, it was still because they loved her and didn't want her to make a mistake. 

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Who is to be blamed? My parents or me - By Blessing Gaadi - 2019-09-11 16:30:43

It is your fault... because you should know there was more to why your parents were guiding you but you still went against their instructions.

You should know the had reasons why they were doing that, that is why it is good for us to listen to our parents, they say it out of experience.

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Who is to be blamed? My parents or me - By Roheem Usman - 2019-09-11 16:31:55

To me I think they are both to be blamed  because the parent didn't explain deeply to the child understanding  I think if they had done that things wouldn't have gotten worst like this and on the other hand the child because if she has taken her time to ask questions so that she could know about what she was being told better that wouldn't have happened to her

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Who is to be blamed? My parents or me - By Maro Ughegbe - 2019-09-11 16:34:38

Your parents are to be blamed most especially your mom. As the only daughter she could have guided you, tutor you on S*x and what you would experience as a lady but she didnt and behave she hated you.

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Who is to be blamed? My parents or me - By Awajiimam Zalmon - 2019-09-11 16:37:16

Have seen case like this, one of my uncle this is how he was over protective of his daughter and band her from associating with us her cousins, but after her secondary school she got pregnant by one occult boy who is treating my uncles like now. In this case I think ur parents are to be blame, so they can't reject u because that's the result of there over protectiveness, they should leave with it. Is also a lesson to other parents to leant from it.. 

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Who is to be blamed? My parents or me - By Ahmed Olayiwola - 2019-09-11 16:40:42

On the other hand, the parents had the job of teaching her thimgs about life and at the same time being proteWe must always know that whatever decisions we take affects us alone..On the other hand, the parents had the job of teaching her thimgs about life and at the same time being protective...From this story, i think the parents never enlightened on these things,because asides preventing her from being exposed, they should have also taught her things to build up her psych...I have heard a similar story elsewhere..ctive...From this story, i think the parents never enlightened on these things,because asides preventing her from being exposed, they should have also taught her things to build up her psych...I have heard a similar story elsewhere..

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Who is to be blamed? My parents or me - By Emmanuel Jacob - 2019-09-11 16:46:22

This is a very good post that describes the reality of things that happen with most children whose parents are too over protective. But sincerely speaking, you are to be blamed because even God never told Adam and Eve how it will feel like eating the forbidden fruit. The funniest thing is that the human nature is too hard  to obey certain orders as well normally love to try whatever we are told not to do.

So you are at fault not your parents

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Who is to be blamed? My parents or me - By Divine Peterside - 2019-09-11 16:59:34

In my own opinion, I feel the girl in question is wrong.

This is because,it is of the best option to always obey your parents. If the girl had obeyed,she would not have agreed to have the so called s3x,because she was even told she would get pregnant if she had anything to do with guys.

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Who is to be blamed? My parents or me - By Precious idisi - 2019-09-11 17:07:27

I will say that your parents are at fault here. It is really a wrong idea for parents to be over protective to their children. They should teach their children the goods and bad of the outside world, to avoid sneaking out of the house just to test the bad things of the world.

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Who is to be blamed? My parents or me - By Stephen Eke - 2019-09-11 17:08:30

As for me her parents are not to be blamed for this,is not there fault as child u have to listen to ur parents.they can see from afar what u can see as a child.my blamed go to the child,she disobeyed her parent so that's the repercussion.

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