When Parents Of College Students And Their Rules Are Over Controlling

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Starting college is often an important transition within the relationships between students and their parents. A 2024 report on Forbes.com discussed three ways that parents can have unique impacts on college students and highlighted how supportive parents can help students reduce stress and burnout. However, some students present to campus counseling centers and report stressful relationships with their parents. Common examples of these stressful relationships are “helicopter parents.” According to a 2025 report by Boston University, the term helicopter parent emerged as the baby boomer generation had more money and time to spend on their children than previous generations. This resulted in a tendency to be highly active as parents of college students, which included some parents micromanaging their students.

As members of Gen X and Millennials became parents, the general trend of having more money and time for children continued, resulting in elaborations of the concept of helicopter parenting. For example, a 2023 report on Parents.com summarized the potential harmful effects of “snowplow parenting,” which describes a tendency of some parents to remove all stressors or challenges that their children might experience. Regardless of the term used to describe these behaviors, or the reasons why these behaviors exist, having parents who are over controlling can have detrimental impacts on students.

Over Controlling Parents Can Hinder Development And Opportunities

The traditional college-aged years are formative for the development of personal values. Instead of specific rules, such as who a child can spend time with outside of school, what time is curfew, and when to do homework, college is a place to establish values such as lifestyle choices, personal development, and academic performance. According to a 2025 study in the journal of Brain Sciences, the establishment of personal values is associated with individual decision-making. Thus, over controlling rules which limit students’ ability to make decisions can hinder the development of long-term values. Furthermore, many colleges and universities have thousands of students on campus. If a student enters the campus community with a set of rules that are more strict than other students, then it’s expected that the student will miss opportunities, such as attending certain social events that could result in having more friends, participating in extracurricular activities that could lead to future internships, or attending campus events that could result in being more excited about college.

Over Controlling Parents Often Have Limited Influence

As detailed in the report on Forbes.com, parents generally have significant influence over college students. This influence is mostly experienced by students as parents being positive role models and giving practical advice; however, such influence can last a lifetime. On the contrary, over controlling rules can influence the behavior of college students, but this type of influence is time limited. As students proceed through their academic careers, most of them will obtain financial independence, and this independence will minimize the impact of any parental rules.

A 2020 study in the journal of Psychological Reports found that parent-child attachment can also impact the social relationships of college students, including factors such as social anxiety. Consistent with these findings is the fact that many students with over controlling parents attempt to put rules and expectations on peers. This usually has limited influence on peers and can result in these students being rejected by others. In turn, many of these students will start resisting or rejecting their parents, which could produce a vicious cycle of attachment problems and difficulty connecting with others.

Over Controlling Parents Often Reap What They Sow

According to a 2025 report on HealtyRelationshipsInitiative.org, rules often represent boundaries to children. As such, over controlling rules to college students often represent an over reliance of boundaries during a time of independence. It’s often beneficial for parents to ponder that college students eventually reach a point in lifespan development in which they put boundaries on their parents. Examples include relocating after graduation, getting married, and starting a family. The boundaries that students place on parents later in life often reflect their feelings about the boundaries that parents once placed on them.

In closing, it’s important to note that there’s no consensus on what constitutes an over controlling parent. Furthermore, students need rules while in college, and some students need more rules than others. However, it’s usually obvious when a student is burdened with rules that are excessive and don’t match the general experience of being in college. Most parents want their children to succeed in college, and they can help foster student success by setting appropriate and normative expectations.